I had the opportunity to spend time with my baby nephew Jonah this past Thanksgiving. As usual, I learned so much from watching him interact with the world around him. Here is one of the lessons I learned from Jonah:
Is there something in your life that is just beyond your grasp? Is there something in your life that is "on the other side of the fence" ...and no matter how you look at it, you can't reach it on your own?
Reach out and ask for help from someone you trust. Be thankful for the obstacles you face and welcome the lessons that come with them.
"So for tonight we pray for what we know can be, and on this day we hope for what we still can't see. It's up to us, to be the change, and even though we all can still do more there's so much to be thankful for..." Happy Holidays from Broward ANAD!
One of my favorite non-for profits out there is To Write Love on Her Arms. I always get teary eyed when I read their VISION. It is so amazingly powerful!
TWLOHA was a movement that started in Central Florida. A group of friends got together to help a girl named Renee who could not afford treatment for addiction. Today, TWLOHA is an international movement that helps people struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury, sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, etc.
Here is a video of Renee today, sharing her story and making a difference in the lives of others.
Renee has also published her journals in a book called Purpose for the Pain by Renee Yohe (warning: book contains mature/graphic content part of Renee's journey from "from addiction to sobriety and pain to hope.")
May Renee's story, my story and the story of others that have recovered from addiction, eating disorders, self-injury and abuse and moved "from addiction to sobriety and from pain to hope" give you peace, strength and confidence that recovery is possible for YOU!
Here are some tips I found online on how to deal with the holiday blues...I posted these tips last year. I like them so much I am sharing with you all again...
* Stay Connected - The worse thing you can do for the holiday blues is to be isolated from your support system. Reach out and reconnect with old friends or make new ones; this can help deal with the loneliness experienced during this season.
* Avoid Addictive Substances / Addictive Behaviors - While you do experience a temporary numbing effect - your feelings of "the blues" will only become magnified once you come down off of your drug of choice.
* Determine priorities, establish realistic goals and expectations for the holiday season - Don't expect that everything will be perfect—food, decorations, parties, family behavior or presents. Keep expectations manageable. Decide what can be comfortably done and what cannot be done.
* Maintain a normal routine - Try and continue with normal daily activities.
* Take time for yourself—for rest and relaxation.
* Do those activities, or be with the people that comfort, sustain, nourish and recharge you.
* Minimize financial stressors by knowing your spending limit, setting a budget and sticking to it - Remember that the best gifts often come from the desire to make someone happy, not the price tag.
* Remember the true reason for the season.
* Feelings of grief, loss or sadness should be acknowledged, not ignored or repressed by those who have experienced a death, romantic break-up, tragedy or significant loss.
* Spend time with caring, supportive, nurturing people.
* Old holiday traditions may no longer be possible as families change. Find new ways to celebrate the season. Create new rituals, traditions or remembrances.
* Tell someone - Did it ever occur to you that it would be much easier to get through the holidays if someone else knows how hard it is for you? People that care about you want to help.
* Remember to take the holidays (and life), one hour at a time...one day at a time.
**********
Hope you have a happy, safe and healthy holiday season.
Freedom is like taking a bath - you have to keep doing it every day! ~ Flo Kennedy
In order to stay on the road to recovery, we need to make healthy choices every day. If we stumble, we just need to get back on our feet and make the next right choice to get back on track.
According to WordReference.com a Habit is "a pattern of behavior acquired through frequent repetition". So just as we have acquired unhealthy eating disordered behaviors, it is also possible to learn healthy habits that can lead us to a happy and healthy life.
Reminder for Today: "I must daily exercise my freedom to make healthy choices in order to learn & maintain healthy behaviors."
An important part of my recovery has been learning to live a balanced life. I have learned that balance is not something we reach, it is something we do every day. We are all different, have different energy levels, different tolerance levels for stress, different needs for rest and relaxation. It is important to become aware of what our personal needs for balance are and honor them. Also remembering to honor the differences in the needs of those around us.
Here is a balance wheel that I found online and wanted to share with you. What does your balance wheel look like?
Here are two of my favorite quotes when it comes to balanced living:
"I believe taking care of ourselves is an art, and this art involves one fundamental idea that is foreign to many: giving ourselves what we need." ~ Melody Beattie
"...One has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself." ~ Jessye Norman
I had the opportunity to spend time with my baby nephew Jonah last week for Thanksgiving. As usual, I learned so much from watching him interact with the world around him. Here is one of the lessons I learned from Jonah last week:
New people, places, behaviors, opportunities & change can be scary at first....
but if you overcome your fear, step out and try something different...
you will most likely find out that it was worth it after all...!!!
In the past, I have been "the abused" in emotionally/verbally abusive relationships. I had no idea what my rights were as a person. I also did not know what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like and used to think I deserved no better that to be treated badly.
Learning what my rights and responsibilities are as an individual and with my family, friends, and those I do life with, has been a very important part of my recovery.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Basic Rights in Relationships
The right to good will from the other.
The right to emotional support.
The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.
The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.
The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern you
The right to live free from accusation and blame.
The right to live free from criticism, judgment, put-downs or ridicule.
The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.
The right to encouragement.
The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.
The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I have internalized these rights and refer back to them when something doesn't feel right in a relationship, but I remember the time when these rights were foreign to me and I thought I deserved nothing better than abuse.
It is important to remember that our rights are also our responsibilities in relationships. and that we have the right to express ourselves as long as we are not abusive towards others.
If you are in a situation of abuse, ask for help. YOU MATTER and YOU HAVE THE RIGHT to live free of emotional, verbal and physical abuse***.
peace, hope and love,
Lily ***note: both women and men can be victims of abuse.
We spoke briefly about things that usually hold us back from living lives filled with passion, intentionality, and purpose.
For me, it is fear of making mistakes. Virginia said: "Think about this: Mistakes move me forward..." Thanks so much for the powerful reminder Virginia!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So the conversation with Virginia got me thinking: We always succeed in producing results. Results may not be what we expected or needed, but we can use our mistakes to learn about what works and does not work, and then try again. Mistakes indeed move us forward and can be a valuable learning experiences if we choose to see them that way. Is there a mistake you made in the past that turned out into a learning experience for you? What lesson(s) did you learn? Is there a mistake in your life that you can choose to forgive yourself for, learn from and move on?
The secret movement I blogged about this past week was revealed internationally this weekend.
The Gift Revolution is a movement started by a group of businesses, churches and individuals that want to make a difference this holiday season by inspiring the world and making a difference through acts of giving. It is going on in 21 countries and 6 continents (so far).
On The Gift Revolution website, people can share their stories and upload videos of how they are making a difference, or how others have made a difference in their lives through The Gift Revolution. For more information, click HERE.
Doing something for others takes the focus from us and our pain. Make a difference in someone's life this holiday season, step outside of your world and into someone else's, step outside your story and into someone else's story.
Change the conversation in your head to one of giving, openness, peace, hope, courage, strength and possibility and watch your life start to change one step at a time.
May this holiday season be a reminder for you to step outside of yourself, your life story and your pain and give yourself and others the gift of saying, though an act of kindness: I matter, YOU matter, We are worth it.
Here is a sample of what The Gift Revolution is all about. Click to watch the video.
Hi all, Those of you that are local readers and have been to our support group meetings know that we meet at Flamingo Road Church. It was a teaching from Pastor Troy Gramling (seen in video above) back in 2006, that inspired me to start what today is the ANAD Broward County Chapter. (Thanks Flamingo Road! Thanks Pastor Troy!)
From time to time I will post a promo video of an upcoming series here on the blog. Here is the promo video for the new series that is starting this weekend. I can't say much about it (cause it's a secret) but it is going to be an AMAZING holiday series.
You can click HERE for this weekend's service times, directions to local campuses or to view live at any of the scheduled service times by clicking on the internet campus link on that same page.
If you are in the area, check it out, it is going to be BIG, HUGE, AMAZING and you will want to say you were there to see it live.
Well, off to bed now. Gotta catch a plane early tomorrow morning but I will definitely be checking out one of the services this weekend.
“You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle.”
YesMan is a new Jim Carrey movie coming out on December 19th, 2008. It is the story of a very unhappy guy, Carl Allen, that is used to saying NO to everything. He attends a self-help seminar based on the premise that he should say YES to everything…and anything!
Carl begins to say YES to things he used to say NO to and "the power of 'YES' begins to transform Carl‘s life in amazing and unexpected ways." But in true Jim Carrey style, he gets into worlds of trouble for saying YES to absolutely every single opportunity and every single request that comes his way.
The whole premise of the movie got me thinking: Sometimes we are afraid to say YES and miss out on so much because we say NO to life instead....and sometimes we are afraid to say NO and instead say YES to things we should be saying NO to....
Are you saying NO to life and missing out on possibilities and opportunities that can potentially lead you to a healthy, happy life? Are you saying YES to things that you should be saying NO to?
Saying YES when we want to say NO and saying NO when we want to say YES can lead to resentment, anger, guilt, frustration and hurt.
It is all about finding a healthy balance between our YESes and our NOs.
What would it be like for you to be able to say YES when you need to say YES and NO when you need to say NO?
Here is the movie trailer for YesMan. Hope it makes you smile and re-think your YESes and your NOs....
Coming Soon!Nicolle Arbelaez Lopez, Psy.D. isstarting a New Pro-Recovery Eating Disorder Group as part of the services she provides through her practice in Weston, Florida. The Group will take place on Tuesday evenings from 6 to 7:15 PM in Weston, Florida and will be starting in the next couple of weeks.
It will be a process, support and psycho-educational group for women who are in recovery and need additional support, especially during the holidays. The cost will be $60 for the group session. For more information, please contact Dr. Nicolle Arbelaez Lopez at 954-804-5144 or via email at DrNicolle@soflapsychology.com . You can visit Nicolle's website by clicking HERE. Thanks for the information Nicolle! Look forward to having you as a guest speaker in 2009!
I subscribe to "Today's Gift" from Hazelden.org. Here is one of the emails I received this week. I was actually in a bad mood (kinda sad/annoyed/tired) when I received the email. The quote and the concept really came at a perfect time. What a great reminder! I wanted to share it with you.....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment. --David D. Burns
"Good thoughts are like bright colors in a painting. Negative thoughts are dark and dreary and drab. Each day we paint pictures of our own lives with our thoughts. If we step back and look at the canvas, we will see whether the picture is alive with bright colors or dreary and lifeless like a dark cloud. Our thoughts have the power to bring joy or sadness our way, depending on what we expect or look for in our surroundings. The choice of how we want our lives to be is ours. Since we paint a new picture each day, we are always free to change things when they don't please us. What better time than the present?"
Question for today: Is there something in my life I'd like to change today?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ We can't worry or pout our problems into submission. We have to do something different, think something different, take action. Pray, ask for help, reach out, learn a new coping tool, go back to the ABCs of recovery (whatever they are for you). Take even a small step in the right direction. It works.
peace, hope and love,
Lily
***note: you can find more funny cat pictures (with captions) on this site. It is a very funny site http://icanhascheezburger.com/
"The key word is trying. And that's half the battle I think." ~ Healthy Lindsay
Lindsay is one of the bravest, most courageous bloggers I know. She is an amazing example of perseverance. Next time you think of giving up, follow Lindsay's example.
Don't give up before you try!
Happy Birthday Lindsay!!
You can check out Lindsay's blog by clicking HERE.
Here is some interesting information on the relationship between appreciation, positive emotions and brain chemistry. I find the relationship between neuroscience and psychology fascinating. Turns out thoughts are just not strings of words floating inside our head, they are related to brain chemistry and mental health in a big way. Check it out:
"The brain is very happy when you are focused on what you love. The more you focus on what you truly love and desire, the volume gets turned down in those parts of the limbic system where the destructive emotions of fear, anger, depression, and anxiety are controlled. This allows you to think more clearly.
You also turn up the volume in other parts of the limbic system that generate positive emotions. When this happens, you get a release of dopamine, endorphins, and a variety of stress reducing hormones and neurotransmitters. The more you focus on what you truly love, the healthier you are likely to be and the more you will feel the positive effect of those stress-reducing neurochemicals in your body and mind.
You actually get kind of a double whammy. You can have a decrease in negative emotions and an increase in positive emotions when you align yourself with what you believe important to you."
~ Newberg & Waldman, Neuroscientists - University of Pennsylvania ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Note from me: So all those affirmations, journaling, lists of things we are thankful for, all of the tools we learn in therapy to help us think differently and healthier thoughts, actually have a positive biological effect on our brain chemistry and overall mental health.
In the beginning stages of recovery, it feels foreign to think positive thoughts, to calm the negative mind. I know it was hard for me. But with practice, it gets easier and it becomes a new way of living and thinking.
What are five people, places, things, activities, possibilities that you love, that you can list and spend some time thinking about today?
One of my favorite tv shows is "How I Met Your Mother" (Monday nights on CBS). It is similar to Friends. The whole storyline is actually a flashback. The main character, Ted Mosby, is telling his kids (in the future) the story of 'How I Met Your Mother'.
Ted shares a "lesson learned" with his kids at the end of every episode. This week, it was a lesson about anger. The girl that Ted was going to marry leaves him at the altar for someone else.
It takes him a while to learn this lesson. He first tries to avoid and ignore Stella, his anger and his pain....
So here is the lesson Ted shared with his kids:
"...and that was it, in that moment I wasn’t angry anymore. I could see that Stella was meant to be with Tony.
Kids,
You may think that your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face. But there is a third option, you can just let it go. And only when you do that is it really gone, and you can move forward.
And that kids, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasn’t mine. Mine was still out there, waiting for me..."
~ Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Next time you are angry, I hope you remember Ted's lesson:
"You may think that your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face. But there is a third option, you can just let it go. "
So Saturday I was at a Leadhership meeting. There was an unexpected lesson (among the awesome things we talked about) that I wanted to share with you.
Here is the story:
We were getting ready to start our meeting with beverages courtesy of our Lead(Her) ...and, all of a sudden, enters Ann Marie with a beverage from "a different beverage place"! I have heard that for coffee connoisseurs, this is quite controversial :^)
Here is the pic. Thanks for the pic and for the bevs Heat(her)!
Here is the unexpected lesson/reminder:
This pic got me thinking...
1) It is ok to be different. Our differences make us unique. They make us who we are.
2) We need people in our lives that, in big and small things, (as our group did today): - Acknowledge and are aware of our differences - Respect our differences - Speak the truth about what makes us different - Use our differences as opportunities for growth - Love and accept us for exactly who we are
Hey Ann Marie (Graceful Rebel), thanks so much for the unexpected lesson that your uniqueness brought on Saturday.
So here is the obligatory 2008 election post. Don't worry, I am not going to get political, or tell you who I am voting for :^) on tuesday.
According to the Oxford American Dictionary, the definition of the word VOTE is: a formal indication of a choice between two or more candidates or courses of action, expressed typically through a ballot or a show of hands or by voice.
This definition got me thinking about recovery, life and the choices we make. We have all made choices in the past that brought us to where we are today.
If you are struggling due to choices you have made, please remember that every passing moment you can begin to make choices that will lead you towards a better place. Sometimes that place is a place of peace, courage, and acceptance of what is and hope about what can be.
If you are struggling today. start by making the choice to ask and accept help.
If you are on the road to recovery, make the formal commitment to continue to make the choices that will keep you on the path to a happy, healthy, life.
May this coming election day be a reminder of the choices/possibilities available to you.
I was shopping at Kohls a little while ago today and, all of a sudden, I heard the coolest song over the store speakers. The lyrics grabbed my attention. I stopped in the middle of the store and wrote a couple down to make sure I could find the song later. It is a song about self esteem. Just love these lines:
...Cuz she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's ok....
...Perfect only in her imperfections....
Here is the video
Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin
She loves her mama's lemonade, Hates the sound that goodbyes make. She prays one day she'll find someone to need her. She swears that there's no difference, Between the lies and compliments. It's all the same if everybody leaves her.
And every magazine tells her she's not good enough, The pictures that she sees make her cry.
And she would change everything, everything just ask her. Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster, And she just needs someone to take her home.
She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant, Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction. She never stays the same for long, Assuming that she'll get it wrong. Perfect only in her imperfections.
She's not a drama queen, She doesn't want to feel this way, only seventeen, but tired
She would change everything for happy ever after. Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster, But she just needs someone to take her home.
Cuz she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's ok.
And she would change everything, everything just ask her. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,
And she would change everything for happy ever after. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,
But she just needs someone to take her home And she just needs someone to take her home.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ peace, hope and love,
Lily
note: if Jon McLaughlin sounds familiar, he sings this song from the Movie Enchanted.
Hi all, Sarah Rainer, our new group co-facilitator shared news about services available at Nova South Eastern University's Psychology Services Center. Nova's Psychology Services Center provides " psychological and testing services to children, adolescents, adults, families and the elderly in the South Florida community".
Their phone number is 954-262-5730 or 1-800-541-6682, ext. 5730.
Great news! Remuda Rancha center in Arizona that provides inpatient and residential programs for women and girls suffering from eating disorders, will now be offering a program for boys 17 and younger!
Did you know that 25% of those suffering from eating disorders are male?
I am so glad that Remuda is expanding their services to provide treatment for boys! There is such a great need! To read the complete article, please click HERE.
So this Saturday I had the opportunity to serve/volunteer/make a difference at my church with a really cool group of girls for a special project. Here we are in a pic (you can click on pics to make them bigger): from left to right: Lily (me), Barby, Janis, Heather, Ann Marie, and Kristin
I learned lots today, but there was one unexpected lesson that I wanted to share with you from this weekend.
Here is the story and the lesson that came with it:
Thursday night, I get an email from my bloggin bud Heather from church and her blog Lead(Her)ship. Her email was sent to several people asking for help serving on a special project.
My first thoughts were: Heather must've sent me the email by accident!!!!! She must've meant to send it to a different Lily on her mailing list!!!!!! I don't know enough to participate, I couldn't possibly help!!! This couldn't have been meant for me!!!! I must email Heather so she will know to re-send the email to the right Lily...!
So I emailed Heather and I get this email back saying YES, IT'S FOR YOU!!!! in big caps. :-)
There was someone else in the group (Kristin) that received the email invitation for the first time and had the same initial reaction I did (pic: Lily, Heather, Kristin).
So this is what I learned:
How many times are opportunities & possibilities available to us and we convince ourselves, before even trying, that they are not for us?
How many times have we said to ourselves that we do not deserve or will never have: - Freedom from eating disorders - Freedom from anxiety and depression - A healthy, loving relationship/family - A new beginning - A second chance - X, Y, Z
Next time you think (like Kristin and I thought this Thursday) that you "got the email by accident", remember Heather's words in caps: YES, IT'S FOR YOU!!!! You can be happy, you can be free, you can live the life you were meant to live. You can do it! Trust and believe when G-d, your family and friends, your professional support system, see the potential in you and speak into your life: YES, IT'S FOR YOU!!!! Thanks for the reminder Heather, it was heaven-sent and thanks for the awesome opportunity to serve this weekend and for introducing me to such a cool group of gals (Barby, Janis, Ann and Kristin).
"Fat Talk Free Week is a five-day awareness effort sponsored by Tri Delta to draw attention to the damaging impact of fat talk and the “thin ideal” on today’s women in society. We’re asking women all over the country—young girls, college women, adult women, and mothers and daughter—to pledge to not fat talk for the full week. Each day, women will be given a daily “charge” of something positive they can do related to having a positive body image, while shining a spotlight on the issues and statistics of body image and eating disorders in women." ~ Reflections Body Image Program
To sign the pledge, click HERE. When you sign the pledge, you will receive a a daily “charge” of something positive you can do this week related to having a positive body image.
Here is to accepting ourselves just the way we are, and removing this "F" WORD from our vocabulary.
Our negative mind speaks lies about many areas of our life that we end up believing.
I am thankful that I broke through the lies that ED used to tell me about food.
My negative mind still speaks lies into my life though..... Right now, for me, it is in the area of careers/education and relationships. For example: I was valedictorian and #1 in my class from 4th grade all the way through high school, graduated from FAU with a 4.00 average (bachelors degree), and my mind tells me sometimes I would not be good enough to pass the GRE, or complete a Masters Degree. I know deep down it is a lie, doesn't make much sense really.
I am thankful that I chose to overcome the lies about food because it gives me the strength and ability to recognize other lies my negative mind speaks into my life and work through them towards further growth, happiness and freedom...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. --The Serenity Prayer
"One of life's paradoxes is that in order to change an unwanted situation, we must first accept it the way it is. If you wish to move forward in your life, first make peace with what you are presently experiencing. (...)
If there is some area of your life that you are seeking to change, first practice acceptance."
******************* There are times in our life when it seems as though we do not have a choice. Remember, we always have a choice, even if it is to change our attitude and live in peace and acceptance of where we are while we work to get to where we want to be.
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit organization that started in Central Florida, as a group of friends that wanted to make a difference in the lives of others, providing hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self injury and suicide. Their VISION and STORY are amazing. You can check them out by reading HERE.
They are big on the idea and importance of COMMUNITY...the idea that people are not meant to do life alone, that we can make a difference in the lives of others and each other.
TWLOHA is the story of Rene, about how she found Purpose for Her Pain and how Jaime and his friends organized their community and created what is now To Write Love on Her Arms.....
Here is one of the founders of TWLOHA, explaining who they are:
Many times we say to ourselves or hear from others that we "need to take care of ourselves"...but what does that mean, exactly? Granted this is not something that is accomplished in a day, it is a life-process, but it is good to know, understand and be clear about what we are working towards. It is ok if we are not there yet. We all can constantly grow and improve in these areas. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Remember to "say what you need to say". I am in the process of "saying what I need to say" this week and feel much better already.
Here is the video and the lyrics to one of my favorite songs.
Say What You Need to Say
Take all of your wasted honor. Every little past frustration. Take all of your so called problems, Better put 'em in quotations.
Say what you need to say (x8)
Walkin' like a one man army, Fightin' with the shadows in your head. Livin' up the same old moment Knowin' you'd be better off instead
If you could only...Say what you need to say (x8)
Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over. You better know that in the end It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.
Even if your hands are shaking, And your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', Do it with a heart wide open.
I really liked that quote....it got me thinking.....
Time passes, whether we want to or not, whether we realize it or not.
Time helps pain fade, but the ultimate choice whether we overcome our difficulties, our past, our suffering, or remain stuck in a place where we do not want to be (physically, emotionally, cognitively) is up to US, not the hands of the clock.
If I am being completely honest with you, I have realized during the last couple of days that all time knows how to do is pass by, but it is my choice to do what I have to do, to take care of me and move on.
In some areas of my life, all I have done it let time pass. I have put feelings away, pretending they are not there and for the most part trust they will go away without doing much about them.
How about you? Are you letting time pass without doing anything about your situation? Don't get me wrong, take the time to grieve, it is ok to be sad for a while, but don't stay there....Ask for help, make a plan, do something about it....Move on.
This post is as much for you, reader, as it is for me.
Here are two concepts that came to mind while I watched this summer's Olympic Games.
Perseverance
According to Dictionary.com , Perseverance is a "steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement". Michael Phelps finally surpassed Mark Spitz 1972 record of most gold medals in a single Olympic Games. We got to see the opening ceremony, the races, the reactions of the crowd, of Michael and of the swim team.
What we didn't get to see was one of the qualities that got him there: Perseverance. We saw the result of his perseverance: Victory. However, we often forget that reaching a goal doesn't just happen, it takes planning, sacrifice, discipline, patience, stick-to-it-iveness...day after day, year after year. It takes falling down and getting back up. It takes Perseverance. The same is true for recovery.
What ifs
This is a picture of Michael Phelps (left) and Milorad Cavic (right) finishing the 100 meters Butterfly final.
One of my favorite bloggers (you can check out his blog by clickingHERE) made the following point during the Olympics: After battling it out in the last 50 meters, Michael Phelps beat Cavic by 0.01 seconds. Have you ever been in a situation like Cavic's? When things just don't go your way and you may find yourself asking...What if? What if? What if?
We can't change the past, we can only learn from what happened and move on.
....
Most of us will not win an Olympic gold medal, but we can definitely learn a lesson or two from Phelps and Cavic on perseverance and letting go of "what ifs".
May you persevere in your journey towards recovery and learn to let go of "what ifs" that keep you stuck along the way...
At our last meeting, each person took a card out of our hope box (without looking). Each card contains a word/phrase related to recovery. These were the ones picked out of the box:
Forgiveness
Commitment
Taking Responsibility
Acceptance Vs. Judgment
Connection Vs. Isolation
Asking for and Accepting Help
We talked about what these words mean for us in our road to recovery. What do these words mean for YOU in your road towards recovery?
Today, my mom gave me the most beautiful little gift book calledI am Beautiful: Affirmations for Women (Thank you mom!!) Great to carry in your bag, your pocket or to give as a gift!! I am going to carry it in my bag. Here are a couple of quotes from it...
...I am beautiful when my hair is a mess and I haven't put on my makeup yet. Perfection is overrated. If everyone in this world were perfect, we would all be exactly the same. It is the very things that make me different that make me beautiful...
...Sometimes I lose myself in what the world expects of me. I will not try to conform to what "I should be." I will create my own box and step outside it as I wish...
...Today I will write five things I like about myself...
I had the opportunity to spend time with my baby nephew Jonah this past Thanksgiving. As usual, I learned so much from watching him interact with the world around him. Here is one of the lessons I learned from Jonah:
