Coping Thoughts

When going through stressful times, we might not have someone to give us an encouraging word. In cases like these, we need to encourage ourselves and keep going.

Here are some coping thoughts that people find useful (Davis & Fanning 1997)

"This situation won't last forever."

"I've already been through many other painful experiences, and I've survived."

"This too shall pass."

"My feelings make me uncomfortable right now, but I can accept them."

"I can be anxious and still deal with the situation."

"I'm strong enough to handle what's happening right now."

"This is an opportunity for me to learn how to cope with my fears."

"I can ride this out and not let it get to me."

"I can take all the time I need right now to let go and relax."

"I've survived other situations like this before, and I'll survive this one too."

"It's okay to feel sad/anxious/afraid sometimes."

"My thoughts don't control my life. I do."

"I can think different thoughts if I want to."

"So what?"

"This situation sucks, but it is only temporary."

"I am strong and I can deal with this."

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What are some of the coping thoughts that work for you?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Dependence, Independence and Interdependence

Dependence is the paradigm of you - you take care of me; you come through for me; you didn't come through; I blame you for the results.

Independence is the paradigm of I - I can do it; I am responsible; I am self reliant; I can choose.

Interdependence is the paradigm of we - we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.

Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest successes.

~ The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (p. 49)

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In order to move towards recovery and freedom from addiction, we have to move away from dependence towards independence and interdependence.

What are some steps in recovery that you can take for yourself but no one can take for you?

What are some steps in recovery where you need other people in order to succeed? Not to do things for you, but to contribute to your recovery with their skills, abilities and experiences?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Inauguration Post

Regardless of our faith, political views, race, who we voted or not voted for last November...I think we all recognize that this past Tuesday was a historic day. I watched the inauguration LIVE via CNN.com. This was my first inauguration as a US Citizen so it was extra special in many ways.

There was a part of the president's inaugural address that gave me goose bumps and made me think of my own life, of all of you that attend our support group meetings, read this blog and are struggling with eating disorders and/or any other area of your life.

Here is what he said. Think of it in terms of your own life, of your recovery. Change the word "America" and "this country" for your own name...

"Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America (...) Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage."

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May this inauguration day and the struggles that our country is currently facing be a reminder to you that...

Every time we fail, we have to "pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again". Some might question if recovery is possible. Sometimes our memories and the memories of those we do life with are short, often forgetting how far we have already come and the potential that is in each and every one of us.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Baby Jacob Kramer

Nikki Kramer LCSW , our group's professional sponsor, had her baby in December!!
As promised, here are two pictures of baby Jacob Kramer. He is sooooooo adorable!

Congratulations Nikki! We wish you and yours much health, love and happiness. We miss you at group but are sooo happy that you and baby are doing well!!!

These two pictures got me thinking.....

Have you ever had a day like this, when you all of a sudden ask yourself WHAT? WHY? HOW? WHEN? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP? We all have those days, young and old...






After "one of those days", it is ok to rest, relax, recharge and take time to recuperate. Do you give yourself that time?




For baby Jacob, mommy's arms are a safe place - not to hide from the world - but to be at peace, feel safe and secure. Do you have that place? Do you have those people in your life?

Welcome to the world baby Jacob! We can't wait to meet you!!!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Relaxing Sunday Quote

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."
~Sidney J. Harris



What is one thing that relaxes you? How can you make it a part of your daily routine?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

New Year Anti-Resolutions

Have you ever heard of New Year ANTI-Resolutions? I hadn't until a couple of days ago. In a world where we are constantly being driven (by ourselves and others) to be a better version of ourselves, to improve, to change, to transform, we often forget all the positive qualities, behaviors we already posses.

What are five things (positive/healthy) about yourself that you already posses and don't want to change/give up? What are your five ANTI-Resolutions?

For me...I would not like to change/give up:
1) My love for reading and writing
2) Believing in God's promises
3) Constantly striving to live a balanced life
4) Being a good listener and friend
5) Being as assertive as I have learned to be

These are my ANTI-Resolutions. What are yours?**

peace, hope and love,

Lily

**note: if you can't think of any, ask someone you trust/love. What are 5 things they would not like you to change about you?

My Comfort Zone

Here is the poem we used to close tonight's meeting. Thanks for the great find Sarah!!!





My Comfort Zone
By Author Unknown

I used to have a comfort zone
where I knew I wouldn't fail.
The same four walls and busywork
were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.
I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you're in a comfort zone,
afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.

Reach for your future with a smile;
success is there for you!

source: http://www.wow4u.com/cz/index.html

Stress and Addiction

Here is some interesting information I found regarding the relationship between stress and addiction:

"Research and population surveys have shown that persons under stress , particularly chronic stress, tend to exhibit more unhealthy behaviors than less-stressed persons. Stressed people drink more alcohol, smoke more, and eat less nutritious foods than non-stressed individuals. Many people report drinking alcohol in response to various types of stress, and the amount of drinking in response to stress is related to the severity of the life stressors and the individuals' lack of social support networks.

While some research studies show that alcohol in low doses may lessen the body's response to stressors, paradoxically, many studies show just the opposite effect, i.e., that alcohol actually increases the stress response by stimulating production of the same hormones the body produces when under stress."

source: www.medicine.net

Stress Reduction Habits:

· Get at least 8 hours of sleep per night.

· Get regular daily exercise.

· Eat well balanced, healthy meals, in appropriate quantities, preferably eating smaller portions more frequently in the day, to help maintain even blood sugar.

· Take at least 30 minutes to yourself once a day. Relax, meditate, leave daily problems behind. Let this be a time when you can 'clear your thoughts' and allow your body to let go of unwanted stress signals (sore, tense muscles, headaches, body aches, etc.)

· Maintain a sense of humor. Make a special effort, if needed to see the funny, silly, truly amusing events that do happen around you daily.

· Prioritize your chores. Decide what is really important and what is really unnecessary.

· Allow yourself to 'simplify'. Let go of the extra work, or tasks, that stress you too much, and benefit you little.

· Find ways to give and receive care to and from others in your life. Make this a daily part of your living.

· Develop or nurture a strong, positive support group for yourself. You may want to join various support groups in your community if you do not have a support group at present.

· Recognize that even the most stressful feelings, will change, and you will feel better, given time, and healthy self care.

· When applying this to addictive problems, discover what your triggers are, in terms of stress, and then develop ways to avoid that type of stress, or problem solving strategies for issues that need immediate resolution, to reduce as much stress as possible in these situations.

· Prioritize your problems. Just take the most important one, at a time. Work through it as much as possible, then begin to approach the next issue.

source: Therapist Unlimited