Enchanted Now Available on DVD

Hi all,
I saw the movie Enchanted back in November and it is now available on DVD. I am re-posting the movie review I wrote along with the youtube trailer. Make sure to watch the youtube video trailer at the end of this post.

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Enchanted is the story of a traditional fairytale princess named Giselle that is sent to the real world (New York City). Reviewers are recognizing Disney for making fun of the traditional trademark storyline and stereotypes that have made their movies famous.

Enchanted is a fun reminder that a story book life would not be practical in real life....the big dresses would not fit through the doorways, if you made a dress out of curtains you end up with holes in the curtains, people don't spontaneously break out into song in the middle of a sentence, if you called your animal friends to help tidy the house, rats and roaches might come too....

And even though it is a traditional "fish out of water" tale and Giselle seems to not fit in, she still manages to not shrink back in the face of the tough reality of New York City. Giselle keeps her sense of wonder in the simple things, her kindness, empathy, optimism, hope, and also makes a positive difference in the tough reality she lives in.

Though it has a slightly predictable Hollywood ending with a twist, there are still lessons to be learned...

Many times we suffer because we wish things were different than they are. What is your New York City? What part of your storybook fairytale do you have to let go of because it is not working in reality? What qualities can you keep? Are you waiting for someone to rescue you? How can you make the most of the life you have?

Here is the trailer...


peace, hope and love,

Lily

Quote for Today

We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us.

~ Dr. David Seamands

Lesson from Baby Jonah

Not sure if you can tell by the pictures, but my baby nephew Jonah has a band-aid on his forehead.

At 9 and 1/2 months, he can now crawl very fast and also stand on his own. This past weekend, he accidentally slipped and bumped his head on the way down. Seeing his first picture with a band-aid got me thinking...

1) In order to change and grow, we have to take risks...and we might get hurt.

2) If we fall, it is ok to ask for help.

3) It is ok to cry and be sad for a while.

4) It is important to take care of the wound, not just hide it behind a band-aid, because it will not heal properly.

5) It is ok to rest and and re-gain our strength before we keep going.

6) We can't give up, we can't sit out of life forever!

7) Sooner or later, it is time to get back on our feet, learn from what happened, an keep growing, changing and living.

Thanks for your simple yet powerful lesson in courage little one!

...for reminding us that we can get back on our feet after we've fallen!


peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Laws of Perfection Part II

I would try to be perfect. It was safer there.

~ Jane Fonda, My Life So Far



This quote introduces the chapter The Laws of Perfection in Aimee Liu's book Gaining.***

There is an illusion of safety and control in perfectionism. But it comes with more feelings of being "not good enough" because we are not perfect, none of us are...

I think true safety and peace comes from just being who we are, and accepting ourselves for who we are and who we aren't. I tried the "perfectionism" life for years and found no true safety and peace there...I was driven by fear of failure in everything I did...don't want to live there anymore...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

***Wow! what a book! It is full of great insight and information. I am highlighting it like a text book. It is helping me understand myself, not just while I was captive by ED, but who I was before ED and who I am now, several years into recovery.

The Laws of Perfection Part I

I am reading Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders by Aimee Liu. The chapter I am on is called The Laws of Perfection.

In this chapter, Aimee talks about a very interesting study on OCP (obsessive compulsive personality) traits in childhood and eating disorders. The study was performed by British researcher Janet Treasure and her team at the eating disorder unit in South London's Maudsley Hospital. This team of researchers wanted to know whether specific childhood traits might "foreshadow anorexia and bulimia".

They devised a survey with questions to be given to 1) patients in the eating disorder unit at Maudsley Hospital and 2) a control group of women with no history of eating disorders.
The questions were about childhood behaviors not related to food.

Here are the 5 traits and sample questions used to test for these traits:

1) Perfectionism: asked about standards with schoolwork, care taken for room, pets, hobbies, part time jobs, time spent doing and re-doing something until it was perfect (i.e. ones hair)...

2) Inflexibility: asked about mayor changes in childhood and how women had responded to them as children (i.e. moving, changing schools, changes in school schedule, etc.), getting upset when things did not go according to plan...

3) Attitude Towards Rules and Discipline: asked if they were the kind of child who felt she needed to always follow rules, how far she would bend rules as a child, questions about compliance, conformity, right & wrong, rebellion...

4) Doubts and Cautiousness: asked if they were afraid to make mistakes as a child (not due so much by parental pressure but by "obsessive doubts that welled from within"), and also asked questions about compulsive caution (being overly cautious, not wanting to take risks)...

5) Drive for Order and Symmetry: being concerned that everything was "just so" and in its "proper place", lining up books, color-arranging closet, getting upset if someone moved their things...

Both groups surveyed (patients in ED unit and healthy women with no history of ED) were high achievers.

Interesting Findings:
1) Each one of the above childhood OCP (obsessive-compulsive personality) traits multiplied the risk of eating disorders by a factor of 7. So, for example, if you had all five of the above traits as a child, you were 35% more likely to develop an eating disorder, than, as Aimee Liu put it, "someone who happily wore mismatched socks". :-)

2) More than 60% of the ED patients had been perfectionists, rigid and rule bound as children.

3) 50% of ED patients qualified as inflexible.

4) More than 1/4 of ED patients had been driven by doubt, caution and need for symmetry.

5) Aside from a handful of the healthy women that had placed high value on rules and order, most of the healthy subjects, though high achievers, had zero perfectionism, zero inflexibility, zero doubt and cautiousness.

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While I was reading the above traits, I kept thinking I would find a picture of me as a child on the following page!!!! I had all these traits as a child and definitely during the worst of my ED.

In my life after ED, I still need to work on perfectionism, inflexibility, attitude towards rules and cautiousness, and drive for order and symmetry. How about you?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Thought for Today

When guilt rears it's ugly head confront it, discuss it and let it go. The past is over. It's time to ask what can we do right, not what did we do wrong.
~ Bernie S. Siegal

Surrender by BarlowGirl

Here is another iMovie I just posted on YouTube. It is a song called Surrender by singer songwriter Rebecca Barlow from the all girl band BarlowGirl. Rebecca has struggled with Bulimia and drug addiction. I am not sure if this song is related to her struggles with addiction, but it makes for a great recovery song.

Remember, surrender is not about giving up...it is about letting go. What do you need to surrender in order to start or continue your road towards recovery?

peace, hope, and love

Lily

Guest Blogger - Kensington from www.Something-Fishy.org

A million thanks to Kensington, Administrator of Something Fishy, for being our guest blogger for April!

Here is her post:

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I've always liked the idea of OnStar in your car. I don't know anyone who actually has it but if someone offered it to me, I'd take it. I like the idea of someone being just a button away. Even if I'm alone in the car when I'm driving, contact & assistance is just a click away. Sort of a portable Jeeves the Butler.

Recovery is like taking a car out on a ride. At first, the thought is very scary. You've been inside for so long you're not sure you can handle changing scenery so drastically.

Still, you spend a lot of time learning how to drive a car. You check the gas level. You make sure the car is in its best possible shape before you take it out & start driving.

So often, people get to the first bump in the road, the first fear of being lost, the first sign of bad weather, the first confusion about where they are going, & they panic. They may pull over to the side of the road & refuse to start up again. They may start driving blindly in any direction. They may head back home, hoping to work up the courage to back out of the driveway again tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year.

What they often don't do is remember that they have their own OnStar Recovery Package. There is so much help available. You can reach out for that help & take comfort from the fact that it's there for you even when you don't need it right that moment.

OnStar Recovery Packages can include many options. A therapist, a doctor, a nutritionist, a support group, family, friends, a journal, affirmations, and so much else. You can surround yourself with a myriad of help options & know that even though you don't need to use all of them all the time, you always have choices available to help keep you on the road.

The key to this car is YOU. When you need help, reach out for it. Ask yourself what help you could use. Then push the button.

When you're rolling down the road with your favorite cd playing, you can gain comfort that help is available to you no matter how far along you are in recovery; the first step or the last mile.

Kensington

Administrator, Something Fishy

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The Happiness ED Promised

Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.

~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

Every time I see a scale I remember the days of my scale obsession. When I was sick, the scale I had ended up breaking from the obsessive use I gave it.

I remember thinking....If I could just loose more weight, I would be happy, everything would be alright. But of course, the number was never low enough and the happiness I was waiting for never came.

Depression, anxiety, fear, isolation, obsession, insomnia, hair loss, dizziness, chest pains, exhaustion....I know I don't want to go back there. I was miserable.

It is my choice to continue to do what works for me so I can be healthy and happy.

How about you? Is your eating disorder (ED) giving you the happiness it promised? Be honest.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Quote for Today

One forgives to the degree that one loves.
~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

Forgiving ourselves does not mean that our behavior was ok...it just means we are letting go and no longer holding a grudge against ourselves.

Today, I will forgive myself.

source: http://www.hazelden.org/

< gaining > & embracing fear

These are the books currently on my reading list:

gaining:
the truth about life after eating disorders by Aimee Liu
I just started this one. On page 30. I am hooked ... reading carefully, and slowly. Full of research, facts and interviews with specialists as well as former anorexics and bulimics. Aimee chronicles the story of her relapse decades after conquering ED for the first time in her adolescence...what an interesting journey so far! Achieving and maintaining healthy weight is, to many, the definition and end of eating disorder recovery.
In gaining....Amy brilliantly explains, how it is just the beginning.



Embracing Fear: How to Turn What Scares Us into Our Greatest Gift by Thom Rutledge
this one is next on my list. can't wait to start it! here is the description from amazon.com:

"Combining compelling stories from the author's twenty-five-year practice, examples from his own struggles with addiction and depression, and practical exercises and tools, Embracing Fear does not pretend to teach the impossible and eliminate fear, but rather shows us that once we understand it we can live beyond its tyrannical control. Instead of repressing or ignoring the voices of panic and dread, we learn that it is only through Facing, Exploring, Accepting, and Responding to fear that we free ourselves from its paralyzing grip."

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...look forward to sharing insights as I read.

make it a great week!

Lily

Expressing the Voice Within: Images of Eating Disorders - Art Exhibit

Hi all,

The Renfrew Center will be sponsoring an art exhibition at the Coral Springs Museum of Art. A collection of artwork created by women struggling and in recovery from EDs. Tickets are $25.00 per person (tax deductible). Ticket sales from this fundraising event to benefit patient treatment scholarships.

Here is the info:

When:
May 20-June 16, 2008

Opening Reception May 22, 2008 at 7pm (please see RSVP instructions below)

Where:
Coral Springs Museum of Art
The Lobby Gallery
2855 Coral Springs Drive
Coral Springs, FL 33065

Time:
10am-5pm daily

More Information:
To RSVP for the opening or for more information, please contact:
Karen Polin, BFA, ATR, Clinical Art Therapist, The Renfrew Center of Florida, at 954-698-9222 x 2077 or e-mail at kpolin@renfrewcenter.com .

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Lily

Blame

Watching this new Mac vs. PC commercial got me thinking about blame....

Blaming yourself or others does nothing to change YOU.

Blaming yourself or others does nothing to change your circumstances.

Blaming yourself or others keeps you focused on the past.

Blaming yourself or others keeps you in negative thinking patterns.

Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and others, accept what responsibility is yours and move on!

This clip is actually pretty funny. Enjoy!



peace, hope and love,

Lily

Resources for Parents

Hi all,
Here are a couple or resources for Parents of Children with Eating Disorders...

The Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders by Marica Herrin EdD, MPH, RD, LD and Nancy Matsumoto , winner of a National Parenting Publiciations Awards (NAPPA) Honors Award (sponsored by www.parenthood.com)
Marcia and Nancy have a blog on their website! You can visit their blog by clicking HERE , and check out their book HERE.



Visit the Andrea's Voice Foundation. It is a website dedicated to providing information and support to parents of children with eating disorders.
This website/foundation was started by Doris and Tom Smeltzer in memory of their daughter, Andrea Lynn Smeltzer, who lost her battle with bulimia at age 19.

Doris Smeltzer has a blog. You can visit her blog by clicking HERE.



Nancy, thank you very much for visiting our blog and providing us with information about your book, website , and blog and for all you are doing to provide resources, education, help, hope and encouragement to Parents of Children with Eating Disorders.

Recovery is possible!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Quote on Heather's Blog

One of my favorite blogg(hers), Heather Palacios posted a pretty awesome quote that reminded me of our topic for this weekend. Here is the quote:

"I cannot give you the formula for success,

but I can give you the formula for failure:

which is:

Try to please everybody."

~ Herbert B. Swope

This weekend, we will be talking about healthy boundaries.

Look forward to seeing you all this Sunday at 7:00 PM at our regular meeting place, Flamingo Road Church, on the corner of Flamingo Road and Stirling Road (Room 127 in the main auditorium building).

Shout Out to Heat(her): Thanks Heat(her) for the awesome quote!!! Your blog is an inspiration and one of my daily reads. You can check out Heather's blog Lead(Her)ship by clicking HERE.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Free Eating Disorder Recovery Info / Articles

Hi all,
The following is a great link for eating disorder recovery resources.
Gurze Books has numerous articles on different aspects of ED prevention, information, treatment, recovery, etc.

Topics include: General information on eating disorders, help for families, recovery tips, treatment, eating disorders in youth, eating disorders in males, eating disorders in athletes, book excerpts, nutrition, and other related articles.

Click HERE to go to the Gurze Books free articles main page.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

VH1 Public Service Announcement

I really like this VH1 Public Service Announcement on giving people with addictions a voice. Even though it refers to drug and alcohol abuse, I think it applies to ED too. It is an honor for Nikki and I to give you a safe place where you can connect, find support and use your voices and not your symptoms to share where you are at, and where you would like to be on your road to recovery.

video.vh1.com

peace, hope and love,

Lily

On Being A Good Listener

I had actually been wondering lately what it is that my friends have in common (aside from the fact that they are great people of course). There was something I couldn't quite put my finger on but I felt was there...was it that they are older than me? type A personalities? very outgoing? people that I have worked for/with? that wasn't quite it!!!

Today, someone I trust helped me find the answer and the likely reason behind it.... (Thank you L and Happy Birthday again!)

One thing my friends have in common...they are all extroverts and love to talk, and I am the good listener, the shoulder, the sounding board, the quiet one, on some occasions the advice giver....

...nothing really wrong with that, I find them very entertaining and they complement my introversion....but get this (what I got this afternoon).....I also find them very SAFE, cause if they are talking about themselves, their days, their lives, what they are thinking, what they did, what they are gonna do....guess what I don't have to do? Let them into my world and talk about ME!

What would it be like for me to let people into my world? My assignment in the next several weeks is to find out. What would it be like for you to let people into your world?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lesson from Baby Jonah

Here is one of the most recent pictures of my nephew Jonah. He will be 9 months old next week. This week, his new thing is standing up with support.

Reminds me of what I posted 3 months ago when he was sitting with support:

It is ok to get extra support if we need it. No need to feel embarrassed, sad or ashamed. It it just extra help that gives us what we need until we are ready to stand on our own.

peace, hope and love,

Lily