Taking Care of Ourlseves

From our group discussion this weekend:

Many times we say to ourselves or hear from others that we "need to take care of ourselves"...but what does that mean, exactly? Granted this is not something that is accomplished in a day, it is a life-process, but it is good to know, understand and be clear about what we are working towards. It is ok if we are not there yet. We all can constantly grow and improve in these areas.
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In her book Co-Dependent No More, Melody Beattie explains:

What does it mean to take care of ourselves?

Self-care is an attitude towards ourselves and our lives that says:

1. I am responsible for myself.

2. I am responsible for leading or not living my life.

3. I am responsible for tending to my spiritual, emotional, physical and financial well-being.

4. I am responsible for identifying and meeting my needs.

5. I am responsible for solving my problems or learning to live with those I cannot solve.

6. I am responsible for my choices.

7. I am responsible for what I give and receive.

8. I am responsible for setting and achieving my goals.

9. I am responsible for how much I enjoy life.

10. I am responsible for how much pleasure I find in daily activities.

11. I am responsible for whom I love and whom I choose to express this love.

12. I am responsible for what I do to others and for what I allow others to do to me.

13. I am responsible for my wants and desires.

14. All of me, every aspect of my being, is important.

15. I count for something.

16. I matter.

17. I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment.

18. I value my wants and needs.

19. I have rights, and it is my responsibility to assert these rights.

20. My decisions will take into account my responsibilities to myself.

21. My decisions will also take into account my responsibilities to other people - my spouse, my children, my relatives, my friends.

22. I will also consider the rights of those around me.

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Which one of these do you need to work on in your recovery?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Thought for Today

I believe taking care of ourselves is an art, and this art involves one fundamental idea that is foreign to many: giving ourselves what we need.

~ Melody Beattie, Co-Dependent No More

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more on this later. check back soon.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Say What You Need to Say

Remember to "say what you need to say". I am in the process of "saying what I need to say" this week and feel much better already.

Here is the video and the lyrics to one of my favorite songs.



Say What You Need to Say

Take all of your wasted honor.
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations.

Say what you need to say (x8)

Walkin' like a one man army,
Fightin' with the shadows in your head.
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead

If you could only...Say what you need to say (x8)

Have no fear for givin' in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.

Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin',
Do it with a heart wide open.

Say what you need to say (x7)

Say what you need to, Say what you need to...

Say what you need to say.

Say what you need to say.

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peace, hope and love,

Lily

Time Passes

"Time Passes. Even when it seems impossible."
~ Bella Swan in New Moon by Stephenie Meyer




I really liked that quote....it got me thinking.....

Time passes, whether we want to or not, whether we realize it or not.

Time helps pain fade, but the ultimate choice whether we overcome our difficulties, our past, our suffering, or remain stuck in a place where we do not want to be (physically, emotionally, cognitively) is up to US, not the hands of the clock.

If I am being completely honest with you, I have realized during the last couple of days that all time knows how to do is pass by, but it is my choice to do what I have to do, to take care of me and move on.

In some areas of my life, all I have done it let time pass. I have put feelings away, pretending they are not there and for the most part trust they will go away without doing much about them.

How about you? Are you letting time pass without doing anything about your situation? Don't get me wrong, take the time to grieve, it is ok to be sad for a while, but don't stay there....Ask for help, make a plan, do something about it....Move on.

This post is as much for you, reader, as it is for me.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Thought for Today

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh..........at yourself.

~ Ethel Barrymore

It's Not Just White Girls

I was just reading about a new book that came out on September 9th. It is called Going Hungry: Writers on Desire, Self-Denial and Overcoming Anorexia . The essays in this book are written, by both men and women, young and old of various races.

You can check out the article that appeared in Newsweek regarding this hew book by clicking HERE. It's called: It's Not Just White Girls.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Thought for Today

The past is over.
This is a new day,
one that I have never lived.

I stay in the now
and enjoy
each and every moment.

~ Power Thought Cards

On Persevance and What Ifs...

Here are two concepts that came to mind while I watched this summer's Olympic Games.

Perseverance








According to Dictionary.com , Perseverance is a "steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement". Michael Phelps finally surpassed Mark Spitz 1972 record of most gold medals in a single Olympic Games. We got to see the opening ceremony, the races, the reactions of the crowd, of Michael and of the swim team.

What we didn't get to see was one of the qualities that got him there: Perseverance. We saw the result of his perseverance: Victory. However, we often forget that reaching a goal doesn't just happen, it takes planning, sacrifice, discipline, patience, stick-to-it-iveness...day after day, year after year. It takes falling down and getting back up. It takes Perseverance. The same is true for recovery.


What ifs









This is a picture of Michael Phelps (left) and Milorad Cavic (right) finishing the 100 meters Butterfly final.

One of my favorite bloggers (you can check out his blog by clicking HERE) made the following point during the Olympics: After battling it out in the last 50 meters, Michael Phelps beat Cavic by 0.01 seconds. Have you ever been in a situation like Cavic's? When things just don't go your way and you may find yourself asking...What if? What if? What if?

We can't change the past, we can only learn from what happened and move on.

....

Most of us will not win an Olympic gold medal, but we can definitely learn a lesson or two from Phelps and Cavic on perseverance and letting go of "what ifs".

May you persevere in your journey towards recovery and learn to let go of "what ifs" that keep you stuck along the way...

peace, hope and love,

Lily