The Pop Quiz

Yesterday was a day of insight and reflection. I have been going through a bit of a rough spot for the last several weeks. Feeling blue, down, frustrated, irritable, tired, not knowing where I want to go but not wanting to go anywhere else or move from where I am at...

Yesterday, someone I trust helped me see/remember the connection between the way I am feeling and the way I have been living my life (who would've thunk it right!!!???...that there is a connection) :-)

When I was first recovering from an eating disorder and depression, I needed a stress free, risk free, predictable, easy, safe, environment. It served its purpose for a while. It helped me heal.

As I have progressed in my growth and recovery (for several years now), I have, for the most part, avoided taking risks, taking chances....and I have putt off things I have wanted to do...

All this thinking today reminded me of a pop quiz that I took on the blog of one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Palacios. Heather was working on a teaching on "Seizing the Day". I took this quiz three months ago (March 3rd) on her blog. Here is the quiz and my answers below (I promise I have a point)....

THE "SEIZE THE DAY" POP QUIZ

What are you putting off?

A. My next step in faith

B. My next step in my conflict resolution

C. My next step in a relationship

D. My next step in my health

E. My next step in my calling/vocation

F. Other

Why are you putting it off?

A. I'm scared

B. I'm lazy

C. I'm indifferent

D. I'm not convicted enough

E. I'm already doing it the easier way

F. Other

MY ANSWERS

what I am putting off?

A, C, D, E

why?

moslty A, and a bit of D. and E.

I am just playing it "safe" right now, but it hurts sometimes because I know there is so much more I could be doing....

***************************

What I learned/remembered today and will continue to learn/remember in the months to come is that

1. I change, people change, life changes, my needs change. Behaviors, people, and places that once served a purpose in my life, may not work anymore and I have to embrace the fact that I need to make some changes in my life today, in the coming months and probably many times in the future because that is just the way life is.

2. Avoiding change to avoid pain and therefore remain in an illusion of "safety" for too long is not the answer. It hurts, and can lead to frustration, sadness, unhappiness, and may leave voids in our life that we might be tempted to fill with the wrong things....

3. I took this quiz on Heat(her)'s blog three months ago, and then just put it aside and didn't explore my feelings further. That is the third lesson. If we do not deal with feelings that come up and choose to ignore them, they will come up again and again, until they have our full attention. Don't hide feelings away, work through them so you can move on.

4. At the same time, We have to remember to be kind and patient with ourselves, because life is not perfect, and neither are we...

peace, hope and love,

Lily