"We get so easily distracted
We forget where we set out to go
Well it's okay, it's okay
When everything is everywhere
And you don't know what to do
Don't ever let this world unbalance you
It took some time to realise
But it just occurred to me
That what we have is what we choose to see."
I've been resisting wearing my glasses for the longest time even though I know I am continuing to hurt my vision.
This is what the world looks like to me through my right eye.
With both eyes open, I can still compensate and see more or less ok but with A LOT of straining.
This past week I had to renew my drivers license. It's been years since I had to do a vision test at the DMV. This is how my vision test went down:
DMV Employee: read the letters in line five please.
Me: A C D X Y (looking through the test thingie)
DMV Employee: read the letters on the right as well
Me: What do you mean there's letters on the right ?
***after putting on my glasses*** -
Me: Oh, there they are! D G T U C
DMVEmployee: You are getting a restricted license today (for corrective lenses)
Me: :-(
-------
This got me thinking. I have neglected my eyesight for so long. Even though I know better, I have been engaging in a behavior that is hurting my health. This week i realized that my bad choice is also a safety concern for others. If I don't wear my glasses when I am driving, I can get a traffic citation, I could hurt myself and/or someone else. I could eventually get my license suspended. I have no choice now.
I still have a choice whether or not to wear my glasses while I am NOT driving. That choice is still up to me. I am going to make the right choice. I am wearing my glasses from now own.
Are there any healthy choices you can make for yourself before it is too late...while they are still up to you?
Congrats to Jennie Ketcham, blogger, writer, painter, artist, and as she refers to herself "recovering human" for her one year anniversary in recovery.
Thanks for giving those in recovery the gift of your strong voice of hope, possibility and second chances.
"Don’t be afraid to fail, you’ve done that plenty. Never forget that success is a process, not a race, and there really are no finish lines in life. Always be grateful for this moment, your life, for the lessons you’ve learned and the places you’ve been. Remember to tell people you love them as much as you can, and don’t worry about tomorrow because it has yet to happen. Please believe in yourself, because you can do it. Please love yourself, because you are worth it. Please remember me, because I am you."
These are some of the lessons/reminders I learned and re-learned this past week:
If I want to make a change in any area of my life, I should ask myself: what am I going to do next? instead of asking "what am I going to do for the rest of my life?"...the latter can be very overwhelming and create a lot of anxiety.
I can't teach someone insight. It comes with time, experience, growth and awareness of self and others. It's been a journey and a process for me and it is for everyone.
Most people, places and things are not all good or all bad which to me equals I am not all good or all bad. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be me. I have lived this one for a while and am thankful that I practice it daily.
Who I am is not what I do for work. That's just how I make my money to live my life and be me. Many people tie their sense of identity to the work they do or how many letters come after their name. That's been me for many years...and, in my case, ever since I chose to leave medical school all those years ago, it has made me feel as Jennie Ketcham would say "less than" ...... I am not my job, that is just what I do. I am not the choices I have made up to this moment. That is just my past. My future does not have to be an extension of my past. I am a survivor, I am a smart, kind, compassionate woman. I'm insightful. I am a great friend. I am funny. I have integrity. I am loyal. I like the person I am becoming every day. It's been a long tough road, but looking back, it has been totally worth it...
You look around and staring back at you
Another wave of doubt will pull you under
You wonder
What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there
Will you hear my prayer
When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go
So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too
So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go
So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too
Step out even when it's storming
Step out even when you're broken
Step out even when your heart is telling you, telling you to give up
Step out even when your hope is stolen
Step out you can't see where you're going
Don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting what are you waiting for
So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too
