On Anxiety

Hi All,

Tonight (March 25th, 2007) we talked about Anxiety, something we can all relate to and experience from time time. We learned about four personality traits that can perpetuate anxiety in our lives. Here they are:

1. Perfectionism ~ The tendency to have expectations about yourself, others, and life that are unrealistically high.

2. The Excessive Need for Approval ~ Comes from an inner sense of feeling flawed or unworthy and can result in ignoring your needs and feelings in order to please others.

3. Tendency to Ignore Physical and Psychological Signs of Stress ~
If you are anxious, preoccupied, worrying, you might be oftentimes “living in your head” and not feel strongly connected with the rest of your body.

4. Excessive Need for Control ~ wanting everything in life to be predictable, to always have all bases covered.

We had some great conversations about which one of these four traits we had to work on in order to learn to manage our anxiety and ways in which we can overcome each of these traits. As always, it was great to be able to connect and relate to the experiences of others and to be reassured that we are not alone..... :-)

There was a reoccurring theme of our need for approval and putting the needs of others before our own. Here are some affirmations that can help us move beyond this and remember that it is ok for us to take care of our needs and the needs of others:

Affirmations for Moving Beyond Co-Dependency (*)

I am learning to take better care of myself.

I recognize that my own needs are important.

It is good for me to take time for myself.

I am finding a balance between my own needs and my concerns for others.

If I take good care of myself, I’ll have more to offer others.

It is O.K. to ask for what I want from others.

I’m learning to accept myself just the way I am.

It is O.K. to say no to others’ demands when I need to.

I don’t have to be perfect to be accepted and loved.

I can change myself, but I accept that I can’t make another person change.

I’m letting go of taking responsibility for other people’s problems.

I respect others enough to know that they can take responsibility for themselves.

I am letting go of guilt when I can’t fulfill other’s expectations.

Compassion toward others is loving; feeling guilty about their feelings or reactions accomplishes nothing.

I am learning to love myself more every day.

*co-dependency: the tendency to put the needs of others
before your own.

note: the source of the material for today's meeting is an awesome book called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D. All these topics are covered in Chapter 11 of the book.