Refusing to be Defined by Your Eating Disorder by Nikki Kramer

Just because you have struggled with overcoming an eating disorder DOES NOT MEAN that you have to be identified in terms of your eating disorder. Too often I hear women in early recovery saying that they have lost themselves and can no longer think of anything that defines them other than their eating disorder. Every single one of us at any given time has a choice to begin allowing ourselves to expand our identities by pursuing people, places, and things that are completely separate from our eating disorders. In fact, as Jenni Schaefer mentions in Life Without Ed, it is critical that we go out of our way to disobey our eating disorders and the rules that it has in place for us.

Eating disorders demand that we limit our identities to living within the narrow confines of the outrageously illogical parameters that our eating disorders dictate to us. We, as women who are on the road to recovery, have the choice to tell ED to “take a hike” and start pursuing what makes us happy!! ED will tell you “You cannot go out to eat with those people. Think of a way to get out of it!” You have the choice to tell ED “I want to learn again to enjoy spending time with people and I have the right to go out to lunch with my friends and have a good time!” There are so many things that we can pursue if we will only let ourselves.

Think about some of the things that perhaps you used to enjoy but have given up to some degree because of your eating disorder. Write a list of the people, places, and things that you want to define you and keep in mind that nothing having anything to do with your ED should be a part of your list.

Nikki Kramer