Dove Real Beauty Commercial

May peace, strength and comfort be yours this holiday season and in the coming year.

Check out this video by clicking on the play button (triangle) in the center of the box...




peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lesson from Baby Jonah

Hi All,
Check out this picture of my nephew Jonah. He is 4 months old in this pic. He is not quite ready to sit on his own but he has this really cool chair that provides the support he needs so he can sit up until he is ready to do it by himself. So here is the lesson from baby Jonah:
It is ok to get extra support if we need it. No need to feel embarrassed, sad or ashamed. It it just extra help that gives us what we need until we are ready to stand on our own.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

No Wonder...

No wonder our perception of beauty is so distorted..! check out this video by clicking on the play button (triangle) in the center of the box...



see you this Sunday, December 16th, 2007 at 7:00 PM.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Tips for Dealing With The Holiday Blues

Here are some tips I found online on how to deal with the holiday blues...

source: adapted from Good Grief! I’m Having a Charlie Brown Xmas: How to Deal with the Holiday Blues by Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS, FAAETS and 7 Tips For Beating The Holiday Blues by Lisa Angelettie M.S.W.

• Stay Connected - The worse thing you can do for the holiday blues is to be isolated from your support system. Reach out and reconnect with old friends or make new ones; this can help deal with the loneliness experienced during this season.

• Avoid Addictive Substances / Addictive Behaviors - While you do experience a temporary numbing effect - your feelings of "the blues" will only become magnified once you come down off of your drug of choice.

• Determine priorities, establish realistic goals and expectations for the holiday season - Don't expect that everything will be perfect—food, decorations, parties, family behavior or presents. Keep expectations manageable. Decide what can be comfortable done and what cannot be done.

• Maintain a normal routine - Try and continue with normal daily activities.

• Take time for yourself—for rest and relaxation.

• Do those activities, or be with the people that comfort, sustain, nourish and recharge you.

• Minimize financial stressors by knowing your spending limit, setting a budget and sticking to it - Remember that the best gifts often come from the desire to make someone happy, not the price tag.

• Remember the true reason for the season.

• Feelings of grief, loss or sadness should be acknowledged, not ignored or repressed by those who have experienced a death, romantic break-up, tragedy or significant loss.

• Spend time with caring, supportive, nurturing people.

• Old holiday traditions may no longer be possible as families change. Find new ways to celebrate the season. Create new rituals, traditions or remembrances.

• Tell someone - Did it ever occur to you that it would be much easier to get through the holidays if someone else knows how hard it is for you? People that care about you want to help.

• Remember to take the holidays (and life), one hour at a time...one day at a time.

**********

Hope you have a happy, safe and healthy holiday season.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Holiday Blues - Why am I feeling like Charlie Brown?

I found a really cool article online on the Holiday Blues, so I am going to dedicate a couple of posts to sharing some excerpts from this article....The following excerpt talks about some reasons why people experience Holiday Blues.


source: Good Grief! I’m Having a Charlie Brown Xmas: How to Deal with the Holiday Blues by Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS, FAAETS

"People often have different experiences of the holidays. For many, it is a time of joy, happiness, peace on earth, good will, celebrating with family and friends, and hope for the future. But for others, the holiday season can be a difficult time, a time of sadness and loneliness, a time of self evaluation and reflecting on past accomplishments and failures, and a time of anxiety about the future year. During this time of year there is a high potential for psychological, physical and financial stress. As a result, the holidays can leave millions of people feeling blue, not happy or merry. The holiday blues can affect men and women of all ages with intense and unsettling feelings ranging from mild sadness to severe clinical depression (...)

The Holiday Blues tend to be short-lived lasting only a few days to a few weeks around the holiday season. The emotions—sadness, loneliness, depression, anxiety—usually subside after the holidays once a daily routine is resumed. However, if the symptoms of hopelessness and depression last for more than two weeks, persist past the holidays, or intensify during the season, a simple case of the blues may in reality be a serious case of depression (...)

A person experiencing the "blues" consistently over a period of several weeks should seek professional help from physicians and/or mental health care professionals. Talking with a professional or taking a mental health screening test can help assess whether it's the "blues" or depression."

~ Kirsti A. Dyer, MD

***********

It is a great article, you might want to read it in its entirety by clicking on the link at the top of this post. Understanding some of the reasons why we feel The Holiday Blues, might help us find healthy ways to cope with our feelings. On that note, in the next post, I will share some tips for dealing with the holiday blues from this and other articles...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Here and Now

I received this via email the other day and wanted to share it with all of you:

***************
Be aware of yourself and validate your experience. Pay attention to your world, to what's happening, and why. . . . Feel your strength. Value it, and use it.
--Alexandra G. Kaplan

"To truly exist in the here and now, we need to feel ourselves in the present. We need to enter each moment without the excess baggage of the past, nor the anticipation of the future.

How do we think or feel in the present? Take away thoughts of other times and we may feel lost and confused. It takes time to learn to live in the present and to trust it. We need to learn that, for as long as we're in the present, we exist. We are.

Imagine the moment as a brand new car. All we need to do is open the door, hop in, and drive away. For that moment, our thoughts will not be focused on cars we used to own or on those we're going to buy in the future. Instead, for that moment, we are in the here and now. That's how each of our moments can be: fresh and clean and exciting."

Thought for Today: "I can sit in the driver's seat and experience each moment as it occurs. Therein lies my strength."

source: www.Hazelden.org (Today's Gift Meditation for 11/30/07)

***************

This is such an important concept. I used to live regretting my past (in depression) and fearing the future (anxiety). We have to learn to let go of the the past. We can't go back in time and change what happened, but we can transcend our past by changing what it means to us. Even our most painful moments can become our greatest sources of wisdom if we choose to see them that way. It is a choice.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Message from Nikki Kramer, MSW

Hi all,
Here is a message from Nikki Kramer, MSW that she posted as a comment last night. Didn't want anyone to miss it so I am posting it on the main page:

*************

Thank you Henah for a powerful presentation on stages of change. I really want to encourage all of you to continue to think about what stage you're at for different areas of recovery and what baby step you can take to move toward the next step.

Also, so many of us focus on what we're doing Wrong. I'd love to hear that you are giving yourselves an opportunity to focus on what you're doing Right!!! Let us know on this blog or start a recovery bank (put a penny in every time you stand up to your "ED" in some way). I look forward to seeing you all at the next meeting.

~Nikki

*************
note: see the previous post for a brief summary of the stages of change.

Stages of Change

Last night's meeting was so informative! Thanks so much to Dr. Henah Gupta Ph.D. for sharing and working with the group on The Stages of Change.

Here is a brief summary of Prochaska’s Stages of Change (Prochaska & colleagues 1994)



Pre-Contemplation (resisting change): This is either a denial of the problem, or an awareness of the problem with an unwillingness to change.

Contemplation (change on the horizon): There is an awareness of a problem, an understanding of the pros and cons of change, yet there is a fear of change.

Preparation (getting ready): There is a clear awareness of the problem and the need to learn how to change.

Action (time to move): The person starts to terminate unhealthy behaviors and develop new, more positive behaviors.

Maintenance (staying there): action behaviors are practiced and continually reinforced until they become automatic and last for an extended period of time.

It is important for you to ascertain what stage you are in for the various problematic eating disorder behaviors you experience. Increased understanding will yield a greater likelihood of actual complete recovery.

Exercise: List your eating disordered/addiction behaviors. For each behavior, list the corresponding stage of change where you are in your process of change. If you have any behaviors in the earlier stages of change, list the pros and cons of change. When you understand the pros and cons of change, you will better understand your fears. When you understand your fears, you will better be able to develop alternative, healthy ways to address those fears.

source: Dr. Henah Gupta, Ph.D. and Eating Disorders: The Journey to Recovery Workbook (2001)

**************
The presentation was great and this model can be used not only for people in all different stages of recovery but for practically any area of our lives where we want to make positive, effective, lasting change!

peace, hope and love,

Guest Speaker this Sunday December 2nd!

Come meet Henah Gupta, Ph.D. Henah works at The Renfrew Center and has extensive experience in the area of Eating Disorders. She will be visiting with us this weekend and talking about the stages of change.

See you this Sunday,December 2nd, 2007 at our usual meeting place, Flamingo Road Church, room 127 (main auditorium building) at 7:00 PM.

Candle Light Vigil

Hi all,
Earlier tonight, the members and pledges of Delta Phi Epsilon and Beta Theta Pi, held a candle light vigil by the Graham Center Fountain at Florida International University's University Park Campus. Here is what I shared with them at the meeting:

On behalf of FIU, ANAD, Delta Phi Epsilon and Beta Theta Pi:

to those that are struggling:
there is hope for recovery, and for you to have a full a life free of the chains of addiction....never give up, and take the risk, make the choice to recover and accept help.

to those that dedicate their lives to helping those that struggle with mental illness: thank you

to those that have lost the battle: we miss you and will help others in your memory











to all of you here tonight: we can all do something, learn, get involved, make a difference, share the message of acceptance, we are all beautiful and unique in our own way...there is no need to look a certain way or to be anyone but who we truly are.









in memory of:
Ronit R. (1974-2007)

Dying to Be Thin: The Disturbing Truth behind Anorexia, Bulimia and America's Body Obsession (60 min)

If you want to see the movie that was played at FIU movie night last night, Dying to Be Thin: The Disturbing Truth behind Anorexia, Bulimia and America's Body Obsession (60 min) and have a fast internet connection, you can watch it free on the PBS/NOVA website by clicking HERE and then clicking on the Quick Time or Real Player links.

The movie is divided into 8 chapters online: Abnormally Thin (Anorexia Nervosa), Cultural Pressures, The Search for Answers, Treatment, The Ballet World, Running on Empty, Bulimia Nervosa & Road to Recovery.

note: it includes stories of models, dancers, athletes, and everyday girls and women that have recovered and/or are in recovery from Anorexia and Bulimia. I really liked the story of former supermodel turned plus size model Kate Dillon and her statements shortly before the end of the film (Chapter 8).

FIU Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Hi All,

This week, Delta Phi Epsilon and Beta Theta Pi, a sorority and a fraternity at FIU's University Park Campus in Miami are hosting an eating disorder awareness week (ANAD Week 2007).



Monday was the kick off event. Nikki Kramer, MSW from Renfrew and Broward ANAD, and Heather Maio, Psy.D from the Renfrew Center gave a very informative presentation and question and answer session on Eating Disorders to the members and pledges of DPE and BTP. I didn't have a camera with me on monday, but there was a student reporter from the FIU University paper. If I can get pictures from him I will post them here (check back soon).

Tuesday was movie night. We saw: Dying to Be Thin - The Disturbing Truth behind Anorexia, Bulimia and America's Body Obsession (60 min). After the movie, we had a question and answer session and students asked me questions that I answered from the point of view of someone in recovery from an eating disorder.

Wednesday they will be hosting a yoga and nutrition event for FIU students and Thursday they will close the week with a candlelight vigil. I will post some pics of the candlelight vigil after thursday.

The girls and guys of Delta Phi Epsilon and Beta Theta Pi at FIU have put so much effort into this week. A big thanks to them for sharing ANAD's message: Accept Yourself...Accept Others.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Enchanted Trailer (Disney Movie)

Hi all,
I saw a good movie yesterday, a Disney movie called Enchanted. Make sure to watch the youtube video trailer at the end of this post.

Enchanted is the story of a traditional fairytale princess named Giselle that is sent to the real world (New York City). Reviewers are recognizing Disney for making fun of the traditional trademark storyline and stereotypes that have made their movies famous.

Enchanted is a fun reminder that a story book life would not be practical in real life....the big dresses would not fit through the doorways, if you made a dress out of curtains you end up with holes in the curtains, people don't spontaneously break out into song in the middle of a sentence, if you called your animal friends to help tidy the house, rats and roaches might come too....

And even though it is a traditional "fish out of water" tale and Giselle seems to not fit in, she still manages to not shrink back in the face of the tough reality of New York City. Giselle keeps her sense of wonder in the simple things, her kindness, empathy, optimism, hope, and also makes a positive difference in the tough reality she lives in.

Though it has a slightly predictable Hollywood ending with a twist, there are still lessons to be learned...

Many times we suffer because we wish things were different than they are. What is your New York City? What part of your storybook fairytale do you have to let go of because it is not working in reality? What qualities can you keep? Are you waiting for someone to rescue you? How can you make the most of the life you have?

Here is the trailer...
 

peace, hope and love,

Sample Affirmations and the Science Behind Positive Thinking

Affirmations are a great way to practice positive thinking. According to research, positive emotions/thoughts improve mental function, which enhances brain biochemistry. Enhanced brain biochemistry in turn inspires more positive thoughts, and the whole process begins again. This upward spiral is as powerful as the downward spiral of negative thoughts.

Here are some sample affirmations for those of you that asked tonight at the meeting:

I am free.

My mind is clear.

I am safe.

I accept myself just as I am.

I respect, love and care for my body.

My life is a life of choice.

I live for today.

I stay in the moment.

I am ok just the way I am.

Today I am content with my life.

Today I keep it simple.

I am willing.

I live one day at a time.

I am not alone.

I am ok.

I embrace the journey.

************

so affirmations are not busy work, fluff, or some cool fad. They are a way to practice, learn and internalize positive, healthy ways of thinking and being.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Coping with the Holidays

Our meeting topic this Sunday will be Coping with the Holidays. Make sure to join us for an hour of support, information and encouragement. See you this Sunday, November 18th at 7:00 PM at our usual meeting place. Room 127 in the main auditorium building at Flamingo Road Church in Cooper City, FL.

peace, hope and love,

ANAD Broward County Chapter

Happy Vs. Unhappy Research

Research shows that:
"Happy people do not experience one success after another and unhappy people, one failure after another. Instead, surveys show that happy people and unhappy people tend to have had very similar life experiences. The difference is that the average unhappy person spends more than twice as much time thinking about unpleasant events in their lives, while happy people tend to seek and rely upon information that brightens their personal outlook." (Lyubomirsky, 1994)

source: The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It by David Niven, Ph.D.

The Power of Language and Stories

Hi all,
This is a continuation of ideas related to the previous post on The Power of Choice.

Check out the latest picture of my nephew Jonah (you can click on it to see a bigger picture). Doesn't he look extremely happy?

I showed this picture to a lady at work and she asked me a question that really stayed with me and got me thinking. She said:

"What happens with this kind of happiness when we grow up? "

Her question made me think...so what is different between us and Jonah? What is something we have that he does not have? Answers are many, but I am going to focus on one of the major differences: The Power of Language and Stories. Jonah does not have language or stories yet.

I am reading a book right now called What Happy People Know by Dan Baker, Ph.D. In this book he talks about Six Happiness Tools and Six Happiness Traps.

The Power of Language and Stories is one of the happiness tools and here is what the author says:

"We don't describe the world we see, we see the world we describe. Language, as the single most fundamental force of the human intellect, has the power to alter perception. We think in words and these words have the power to limit us or to set us free; they can frighten us or evoke our courage (...) the stories we tell ourselves about our own life eventually become our lives. We can tell healthy stories or horror stories. The choice is ours."

************

So we obviously can't go back to being babies in the physical/intellectual sense, but I think it is possible to recapture some of that lost happiness.

Listening to our own stories of fear of not being enough (The Negative Mind) had the power to bring us to the depths of addiction...I believe the opposite is also true.

Imagine what is possible if we use the power of language and stories to our advantage...

til next time,

The Power of Choice

The following is one of my favorite statements on the power of the choices we make... I remember hearing this for the first time a while back and going WOW! For me, this quote was one of those "AHA!" moments....



"Why do we keep re-creating the same reality?
Why do we keep having the same relationships?
Why do we keep getting the same jobs...
over and over again?

In this infinite sea of potentials that exist around us...
how come we keep re-creating the same realities?

Isn't it amazing that we have options and potentials that exist...
but we're unaware of them?

Is it possible that we're so conditioned to our daily lives...
so conditioned to the way we create our lives...
that we buy the idea that we have no control at all?"

~ Dr. Joe Dispenza

***********

we all have a choice and our future does not have to be an extension of our past...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Keep Going by Ralph Marston

Hi All,

Here is the poem we used to close the meeting tonight.

Keep Going
When you've reached the goal you've chosen for yourself, set
your sights on an even higher objective. And keep going.

When things have not worked out the way you planned, learn
the valuable lessons that the experience has to offer. And
keep going.

The key to meaningful achievement is not in how clever you
are or how lucky you are or in how much advantage you can
gain over others. The key is to keep going.

When other people give you encouragement, insight and
assistance, thank them for their help while offering your
own special value to in return. And keep going.

When others seek to block your every effort, raise yourself
up to where you can clearly see beyond their petty,
shortsighted attempts. And keep going.

Whatever may come or go or happen or fail to happen, there
is always a way, some way or another, to keep going. You
will get wherever you wish to go when you consistently
choose, in each moment, to simply, thankfully and gracefully
keep going.

~ Ralph Marston

Powerful Quote for Today

this quote is so full of truth and so powerful, I am just going to let it stand alone...

"And the day came
when the risk it took
to remain tight inside the bud
was more painful
than the risk it took
to blossom."
-Anais Nin




source: Heather Palacios, LeadHERship

Taking Flight

Here is a cool quote I found today...
“You can't take flight without looking up and letting go.”

Isn't it true, that many times we say we want to move forward, move on, but can't let go of the very people, places, things, memories, behaviors, ways of thinking and being that are holding us back?

What are you holding on to that is not letting you take flight? are you living in the past instead of looking up? what do you have to let go of, so you can take a hold of recovery and take flight towards a happy, healthy, balanced life?

You know what the cool thing is about letting go of what does not work? that it frees up space in our lives for what does...

peace, hope and love,

Who do I listen to?

Hi All,
I have been doing a lot of thinking this week....I've been trying to help someone that I care about but this someone does not want to be helped...and it got me thinking...we have to want recovery even though we might not know exactly how we are going to get there, we have to want to have a better life, no one can make that choice for us...no one can make that choice for you...

Going back to the medicine cabinet analogy, I think something else I would add to my medicine cabinet of recovery is: listening to others. This is not a easy one though.....because it begs the question: who do I listen to? I can't listen to everybody...

This brings to mind something I learned from Troy Gramling during one of his recent teaching series. He shared his criteria on who he listens to. I have incorporated this criteria into my medicine cabinet...

Who should I listen to? I should listen to those that

1. love me
2. believe in me
3. have my best interests at heart
4. are wiser than me in a certain area
5. are honest with me

all five are not always going to be there of course because #1 usually applies to friends and family, but your professional support system should meet #2 - #5...

it is hard to listen to others, sometimes even harder if we know, deep down inside, that they are some of these people.

so who are you listening to? who are you not listening to that you know deep down inside loves you, or believes in you, has your best interests at heart, is wiser than you in a certain area and/or is being honest with you? is this something you have to add to your medicine cabinet of recovery?

peace, hope and love,