Jeffrey Jabick, LMHC - Guest Speaker This Weekend

"New Year , New You: How To Make Healthy Changes"
This weekend we have a guest speaker. Jeffrey Jabick, LMHC from Professional Toolbox Consultants will be speaking about natural barriers to change, how to make healthy changes and helpful tips to set and maintain healthy goals.

Look forward to seeing you all this Sunday at 7:00 PM at our usual meeting place: Room 127 (Volunteer Central) in the main auditorium building at Flamingo Road Church in Cooper City, FL.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lessons from a Power Outage

I live in Florida, and today, at around 1:09 PM there was a massive power outage that affected several million people here in the sunshine state. It was a bit surreal. I was in Coral Gables at the time in a tall office building. Phone's stopped working. People came down stairwells from tall office buildings everywhere and stood in parking garages and on sidewalks.

Those around me that were able to get through on cell phones were saying that friends in other counties were also without power and that several nuclear power plants had been shut down....

After the fact, I thought...What can I learn from what I saw people doing this afternoon? What are some things we can do in the face of an uncertain, stressful situation?

1) Stay calm / stay grounded - having coping tools
2) Look for a safe place - knowing what we need to do to stay safe
3) Ask for help, ask questions if you need to - giving, receiving and accepting help
4) Reach out to others that might be going through the same situation - seeking support
5) Communicate with family and friends - communication
6) Listen to those that are well informed / more experienced in the subject - following advice of those trained to help
8) Learn from what works and what doesn't & have a plan in place for next time you go through a similar situation - having a plan

these were the lessons I learned from today's power outage in Florida...I think we can apply these lessons to recovery from EDs...

Are there any of these tips/areas that you need to work on in order to stay or get back on the road to recovery?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Windshield and The Rearview Mirror

"The car you drive has a large windshield, but only a relatively small rearview mirror. The implication is obvious: What happened in your past is not nearly as important as what is in your future. Where you are going is much more important than where you've been. "

~ Joel Osteen, Become a Better You

3-D bit of wisdom from Thom Rutledge

Thom Rutledge, psychotherapist, author and speaker, co-author of Life Without Ed along with Jenni Schaefer, left this awesome/powerful comment here on the blog in regards to my previous post called The Three Ds. I am posting it here on the main page, to make sure you all see it. It is really worth reflecting on...!! These are some new 3-D's to definitely remember!! Check it out:

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Lily,
Thanks for helping to spread the gospel of Jenni to others who are suffering with, and recovering from, that destructive relationship with "Ed."

Since we are playing with "D's" here, I can offer another 3-D bit of wisdom:
Decision turns Desperation into Determination. One thing that Jenni and I both teach (harp on) is that recovery ultimately comes down to our willingness to accept full responsibility for ourselves. "

Thanks again.

Thom Rutledge

www.thomrutledge.com & www.thesecretantidote.com

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Such a simple, powerful truth that Thom is sharing with us! Recovery really comes down to that. There is no secret to recovery. It is in all of the small steps we take everyday, the help we accept and receive, the healthy behaviors we learn, all of the unhealthy behaviors we leave behind...they are all small choices, that together, over time, can add up to recovery. We have to choose it, take responsibility for ourselves and say YES to a healthy life.

Make sure to visit Thom's sites by clicking on the links above . If you want to see the comment as left here on the blog by Thom, click on the comments link under the post titled "The Three Ds".

Thanks so much Thom! It is an honor that you stopped by!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Three Ds

Since Valentine's Day was last week, our group topic was on Love & Relationships. We talked about two of the most important relationships in your recovery. Your relationship with YOU and your relationship with ED (eating disorder).

Jenni Schaefer in her book Life Without ED talks about three very important Ds that are crucial in order to progress in your recovery from ED.

Distinguish, Disagree and Disobey

• Distinguish between standards that ED holds for you and healthy goals you/your treatment team have in place for recovery

• Disagree with ED

• Disobey ED (even if you cannot disagree with ED right now, it is important that you practice disobeying ED)

Ask yourself (practice this daily, before/after every meal or as often as you need to):

• What does ED want me to do today?
• What do I need to do today to stay in recovery?

...after asking yourself these questions, practice disagreeing with ED and, if you can, disobeying ED too.

You do not have to whole-heartedly believe/feel your disagreement, but it is important you practice saying NO and countering your negative thinking.

The disobeying also does not need to start big, it can be in small steps, for example: one extra bite of your meal even if Ed is telling you to stop, doing one small thing you enjoy even if ED is telling you to stay in bed.

It is important to take small steps in disagreeing and disobeying ED, so YOU can practice, and learn to and eventually win the fight with ED.

Remember to practice these three Ds. Distinguish, Disagree and Disobey.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Maya Angelou Quote

"I can be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it." ~ Maya Angelou

Thanks so much to Jaime (check out Jaime's blog by clicking here) for sharing this awesome quote here on our blog in response to my previous post!

peace, hope and love,

lily

Thought for the Day

"It's only a thought and a thought can be changed.

I am not limited by any past thinking. I choose my thoughts with care. I constantly have new insights and new ways of looking at my world. I am willing to change and grow."

~ Louise Hay

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If you attended out last group of the year, you probably remember the holiday cards Nikki and I gave out to all of the attendees that night. Each holiday card had a power thought card inside. We gave them out randomly. The one I got, had the quote above by Louise Hay.

Language and thoughts are so incredibly powerful, I always say this, cause I so believe it. We have to re-learn how to talk to ourselves about ourselves, and make peace with who we are and who we are not...We have to learn how to let go of negative thinking, and create a healthy story of our lives that we can live into.

Like Dan Baker PhD says in his book What Happy People Know, we can't change our past. What happened to us will always be what happened to us. But we can change what we make our past mean to us. Moments of pain and struggle can become our greatest sources of wisdom.

It is our choice, and what a powerful choice it is to have!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The One Thing

Hi All,
From time to time, I like to share, on the blog, what inspires me...Here is a song that I heard several weeks ago and I thought was totally awesome! I made an iMovie of it with my Mac so I could share it with you. Here it is...

Every Moment

"Every moment that's ever been, or ever will be, is gone the instant it's begun. So life is loss. And the secret to happiness is to learn to love the moment more that you mourn the loss."
~ "Emily" a patient with cancer, from the book What Happy People Know by Dan Baker PhD

Integrity

“Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do” ~ Don Galer
This weekend, I experienced someone doing something of questionable integrity that affected me directly...made me feel like I was in high school and someone stole my homework...what a yucky feeling...

I am still processing this. Tonight, one thing comes to mind:

I want to live a life of integrity - where what "I do", what "I say" and what "I say I do" are in harmony....

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Where We Are and Where We Have Been

Hi All,
I received this in my inbox this morning and wanted to share with you.

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source: www.hazelden.org


"Rarely do climbers stare up to see how far away the top still is. Instead, when they rest, they look down toward the starting point of their journey. The view they see assures them that they have already come a long, long way.

Like the climbers, we need to keep our eyes on where we are and where we've been, not on where we're going. When we become discouraged with the progress of our recovery, we only need to look back over how far we have come. The rewarding view gives us courage to continue. Many of us recall times when we lived without hope and the sense of impending doom. Now we look forward to life with confidence.

Today, I will remember to face my climb with optimism. Even if my progress sometimes seems slow to me, it's still a long way from where I once was."

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hope to see you all this Sunday, at our regularly scheduled meeting (for meeting info, please see previous post)

peace, hope and love,

Lily