Special Guest This Weekend / Dr. Henah Gupta, PhD

You don't want to miss this weekend's meeting! We have a special guest: Dr. Henah Gupta, PhD, from The Renfrew Center, will be speaking about Interpersonal Relationships and Eating Disorders.

Look forward to seeing you this Sunday, February 3rd, 2008 at 7:00 PM at our regular meeting place: Flamingo Road Church on the corner of Flamingo Road and Stirling in Cooper City, Florida.

Remember: friends/family and people in your life that want to learn more about how to help you are always welcome to our meetings.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Doing What You Love Part II - The Runner's Story

Hi All,
A couple of posts ago I shared a quote from George Burns that said: Every day, do something you love...

I am writing this post as a follow up to that quote, as a response to someone I do not know, but whose story I heard today and have heard many times before in the people that I have met that exercise compulsively as part of eating disordered behaviors.

"But I love to run! and my treatment team does not allow it...."

Obsessive/compulsive, addictive, self-destructive behaviors do not have true love and appreciation as a driving force.

"Compulsive behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive."

It is very different to engage in an activity when we are motivated by true enjoyment, love and appreciation than when fear, anxiety and obsession are mixed in the equation.

The motivation/intention is different and so is the end result.

This is a very powerful distinction to make.

To the runner I don't know, whose story I have heard many times before in those that exercise compulsively: I hope that one day, in the process of recovery and healing, you will come to truly love running again.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

On Being Late

"I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. No time to say hello, good-bye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late." ~ The White Rabbit (Alice in Wonderland)

Today I was reading one of my favorite blogs: Heather Palacios' Lead(her)ship blog and she was talking about being late....This is something that I struggle with and it causes me a lot of stress. Her post gave me the idea to google for some tips or strategies...Here are some I just found in a New York Times Article called: "For the Chronically Late, It’s Not a Power Trip"

1. HAVE A STRATEGY Make a commitment to work on the problem every day for at least a month.

2. RELEARN HOW TO TELL TIME Late people tend to underestimate the amount of time their activities take by 25 percent to 30 percent. Write down all your activities and clock how long they actually take.

3. NEVER PLAN TO BE ON TIME Instead, PLAN TO BE EARLY. Punctual people build in extra transit time because they know that unexpected delays can occur. Many tardy people — in their naïve optimism — have never learned to do this.

4. WELCOME THE WAIT Bring a magazine, a book or some language tapes so that you can entertain yourself and get something done while you wait.

*****************
something else I read that might help the "chronologically impaired" is to think and reflect on how your tardiness impacts/affects those that are waiting on YOU...

I am going to commit to these tips for the next month and see what happens! Most of my mornings start very stressful, as I run against the clock to get to work on time. What if I was way ahead of it? I actually enjoy being early, I just do not have the habit. I'll let you know in 30 days what progress I have made...

We all have 24 hours in a day, so if others can be punctual, we can too! Is there something that helps you be on time/early instead of late?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Quote for the Day

Here is an awesome quote I read the other day on Professional Toolbox Consultants' Tools and Skills for Life Blog that I wanted to share with you:

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Gandhi

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Butterflies In Your Stomach

Hi all,
This is the piece we used to close last night's group on Anxiety:

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The purpose of life is not to get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but to make them fly in formation.
--Author unknown

Did you know that your anxiety could help you at work? Anxieties are a signal; they are a warning system within us saying "Halt!" "Look!" "Listen!" Our anxieties are either honest fears or old, familiar feelings we have carried irrationally from our past. If our anxieties come from legitimate fears, we can face them honestly and move beyond them.

I like to think of anxiety as lying at the threshold of change. Often we feel anxiety when we are entering a new position, a new workplace, or a new experience. These anxieties are natural; they are telling us that we care about our performance. However, when we carry anxieties from our past, such as those that come from old stories of self-doubt, we face a challenge of another kind. We must trace the history of these anxieties and find the primary sources. These anxieties often hover about, leading us to a dead end. We can move through these anxieties by respecting and working on them instead of burying them. Otherwise, they will continue to haunt us.

Just for today, I will listen to my anxious feelings and ask myself whether they are legitimate anxieties from the present or hovering haunts that have been hiding in my closet.

source: www.hazelden.org

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make sure to check back periodically for new posts!

Quote for the day

Every so often, I run into a quote that just really speaks to me. This one is as simple as it is powerful.

"Everyday, do something you love."
~ George Burns (1896 - 1996)

It reminds me of something I read called "the 60 minute principle". More on that later....

what is something you love to do that you can do for yourself today?

peace, hope and love,

On Worry

There used to be times in my life where I worried myself to exhaustion. At the end of the day, I would be so tired, just of worrying all day long...I have learned that I can't worry myself into not worrying. Why is it that we assume we can think our worries into submission? Instead, we have to do something different, and take action!

Here are some tips for dealing with worry:

source: Steve Gillman and Edward Hallowell, M.D.

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1. Take action now. Any action towards a goal tends to diminish worry. Thinking too much about your goals or plans, especially if you dwell on the hurdles, will cause you worry and stress. Of course you should plan well, but when planning drifts towards worrying, it's time to start doing something positive. Take action!

2. Prepare for choice. Nothing crowds and clouds your mind with worry as much as decisions waiting to be made. If you are ready, make them now, or at least start gathering the information you need to make them.

3. Get reassurance. Know which people in your life you can depend on to reassure you, and then ask them for help.

4. Ask for advice / Accept help. No one is an expert on every subject. If you’re in over your head, get input from someone who's more knowledgeable.

5. Don't worry alone. When you share a worry, it almost always diminishes.

6. Use mental categories. Too many things going on in your head? Write them on lists and you may feel better. It works well for many of us worriers. When you are dwelling too much on something, and you stop to schedule a time to work on it, or just put it on a list, it is easier to let go of it for now. You're basically creating "mental categories." In fact, just saying to yourself, "There's nothing I can do about this until Monday," can put a worry into a category of "nothing to worry about right now."

7. Deal with problems directly and quickly. To eliminate worry when there are real problems, try to confront them head-on, and resolve them quickly. The anticipation of problems is what causes the most worry. Just deal with them head on as soon as is possible, and resolve them to the extent possible.

8. Take a break. Do something for yourself, something you enjoy and take a break from your thoughts. Go for a walk, read a book, watch tv, call a friend, go to a movie, etc.

**************

I worry still, of course, we all do. I just refuse to be paralyzed by fear and worry. I take action, ask for help, share my concerns with people I trust, do something I enjoy (this helps a lot), and schedule time to worry/think/problem solve. Those are some of the things that work for me.

What is something you can do different next time you worry?

A NEW LEAF

Hi All,
Here is the poem we used to lead our discussion tonight. Our topic was: Turn a New Leaf. "When you decide to do something different to change your life for the better, you are turning over a new leaf."

It is a great topic to start the new year. And the cool thing is, we do not have to wait 'til 2009 to do this again. We can turn a new leaf every day, every passing moment.

A NEW LEAF
How soothing the sound
of it, like the feel
of clean sheets, crisp
and cool to the touch,
hinting airy freshness
as we snuggle in.

How comforting it is
to lie here thinking
of this whole new year
fresh and inviting,
opening the prospect
that things might be
better, perhaps could
be, if we could just
approach each new day
with the same sense
of purpose we feel
at this moment.

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So what is one thing you can do to change your life for the better? Just one small step, one small change, one small commitment? Something you can do for you?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Quote for New Year's Day

I subscribe to "Today's Gift" by www.hazelden.org and wanted to share one of their latest emails with you:

I've shut the door on yesterday,
And thrown the key away.
Tomorrow holds no fears for me,
Since I have found today.
-- Vivian Yeiser Laramore

"Feeling guilty or ashamed about the past - about what we did or did not do, about what happened to us, about who we were - can be our undoing. We must work long and hard in our recovery to work through these feelings, not to forget the past - for it informs all that we value in ourselves today - but to put the past into perspective.

After we've taken an inventory and grieved our losses we must forgive ourselves. In forgiving ourselves we can let go of the past and live in today.

A new year, a new life, can be ours. Love and friendship, support and spiritual growth are waiting for us today. Our yesterdays are over, and we can look to the future with joy and anticipation."

source: Today's Gift Meditation from www.hazelden.org 12/30/07