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May peace, strength and comfort be yours this holiday season and in the coming year.

Check out this video by clicking on the play button (triangle) in the center of the box...




peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lesson from Baby Jonah

Hi All,
Check out this picture of my nephew Jonah. He is 4 months old in this pic. He is not quite ready to sit on his own but he has this really cool chair that provides the support he needs so he can sit up until he is ready to do it by himself. So here is the lesson from baby Jonah:
It is ok to get extra support if we need it. No need to feel embarrassed, sad or ashamed. It it just extra help that gives us what we need until we are ready to stand on our own.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

No Wonder...

No wonder our perception of beauty is so distorted..! check out this video by clicking on the play button (triangle) in the center of the box...



see you this Sunday, December 16th, 2007 at 7:00 PM.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Tips for Dealing With The Holiday Blues

Here are some tips I found online on how to deal with the holiday blues...

source: adapted from Good Grief! I’m Having a Charlie Brown Xmas: How to Deal with the Holiday Blues by Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS, FAAETS and 7 Tips For Beating The Holiday Blues by Lisa Angelettie M.S.W.

• Stay Connected - The worse thing you can do for the holiday blues is to be isolated from your support system. Reach out and reconnect with old friends or make new ones; this can help deal with the loneliness experienced during this season.

• Avoid Addictive Substances / Addictive Behaviors - While you do experience a temporary numbing effect - your feelings of "the blues" will only become magnified once you come down off of your drug of choice.

• Determine priorities, establish realistic goals and expectations for the holiday season - Don't expect that everything will be perfect—food, decorations, parties, family behavior or presents. Keep expectations manageable. Decide what can be comfortable done and what cannot be done.

• Maintain a normal routine - Try and continue with normal daily activities.

• Take time for yourself—for rest and relaxation.

• Do those activities, or be with the people that comfort, sustain, nourish and recharge you.

• Minimize financial stressors by knowing your spending limit, setting a budget and sticking to it - Remember that the best gifts often come from the desire to make someone happy, not the price tag.

• Remember the true reason for the season.

• Feelings of grief, loss or sadness should be acknowledged, not ignored or repressed by those who have experienced a death, romantic break-up, tragedy or significant loss.

• Spend time with caring, supportive, nurturing people.

• Old holiday traditions may no longer be possible as families change. Find new ways to celebrate the season. Create new rituals, traditions or remembrances.

• Tell someone - Did it ever occur to you that it would be much easier to get through the holidays if someone else knows how hard it is for you? People that care about you want to help.

• Remember to take the holidays (and life), one hour at a time...one day at a time.

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Hope you have a happy, safe and healthy holiday season.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Holiday Blues - Why am I feeling like Charlie Brown?

I found a really cool article online on the Holiday Blues, so I am going to dedicate a couple of posts to sharing some excerpts from this article....The following excerpt talks about some reasons why people experience Holiday Blues.


source: Good Grief! I’m Having a Charlie Brown Xmas: How to Deal with the Holiday Blues by Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS, FAAETS

"People often have different experiences of the holidays. For many, it is a time of joy, happiness, peace on earth, good will, celebrating with family and friends, and hope for the future. But for others, the holiday season can be a difficult time, a time of sadness and loneliness, a time of self evaluation and reflecting on past accomplishments and failures, and a time of anxiety about the future year. During this time of year there is a high potential for psychological, physical and financial stress. As a result, the holidays can leave millions of people feeling blue, not happy or merry. The holiday blues can affect men and women of all ages with intense and unsettling feelings ranging from mild sadness to severe clinical depression (...)

The Holiday Blues tend to be short-lived lasting only a few days to a few weeks around the holiday season. The emotions—sadness, loneliness, depression, anxiety—usually subside after the holidays once a daily routine is resumed. However, if the symptoms of hopelessness and depression last for more than two weeks, persist past the holidays, or intensify during the season, a simple case of the blues may in reality be a serious case of depression (...)

A person experiencing the "blues" consistently over a period of several weeks should seek professional help from physicians and/or mental health care professionals. Talking with a professional or taking a mental health screening test can help assess whether it's the "blues" or depression."

~ Kirsti A. Dyer, MD

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It is a great article, you might want to read it in its entirety by clicking on the link at the top of this post. Understanding some of the reasons why we feel The Holiday Blues, might help us find healthy ways to cope with our feelings. On that note, in the next post, I will share some tips for dealing with the holiday blues from this and other articles...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Here and Now

I received this via email the other day and wanted to share it with all of you:

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Be aware of yourself and validate your experience. Pay attention to your world, to what's happening, and why. . . . Feel your strength. Value it, and use it.
--Alexandra G. Kaplan

"To truly exist in the here and now, we need to feel ourselves in the present. We need to enter each moment without the excess baggage of the past, nor the anticipation of the future.

How do we think or feel in the present? Take away thoughts of other times and we may feel lost and confused. It takes time to learn to live in the present and to trust it. We need to learn that, for as long as we're in the present, we exist. We are.

Imagine the moment as a brand new car. All we need to do is open the door, hop in, and drive away. For that moment, our thoughts will not be focused on cars we used to own or on those we're going to buy in the future. Instead, for that moment, we are in the here and now. That's how each of our moments can be: fresh and clean and exciting."

Thought for Today: "I can sit in the driver's seat and experience each moment as it occurs. Therein lies my strength."

source: www.Hazelden.org (Today's Gift Meditation for 11/30/07)

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This is such an important concept. I used to live regretting my past (in depression) and fearing the future (anxiety). We have to learn to let go of the the past. We can't go back in time and change what happened, but we can transcend our past by changing what it means to us. Even our most painful moments can become our greatest sources of wisdom if we choose to see them that way. It is a choice.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Message from Nikki Kramer, MSW

Hi all,
Here is a message from Nikki Kramer, MSW that she posted as a comment last night. Didn't want anyone to miss it so I am posting it on the main page:

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Thank you Henah for a powerful presentation on stages of change. I really want to encourage all of you to continue to think about what stage you're at for different areas of recovery and what baby step you can take to move toward the next step.

Also, so many of us focus on what we're doing Wrong. I'd love to hear that you are giving yourselves an opportunity to focus on what you're doing Right!!! Let us know on this blog or start a recovery bank (put a penny in every time you stand up to your "ED" in some way). I look forward to seeing you all at the next meeting.

~Nikki

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note: see the previous post for a brief summary of the stages of change.

Stages of Change

Last night's meeting was so informative! Thanks so much to Dr. Henah Gupta Ph.D. for sharing and working with the group on The Stages of Change.

Here is a brief summary of Prochaska’s Stages of Change (Prochaska & colleagues 1994)



Pre-Contemplation (resisting change): This is either a denial of the problem, or an awareness of the problem with an unwillingness to change.

Contemplation (change on the horizon): There is an awareness of a problem, an understanding of the pros and cons of change, yet there is a fear of change.

Preparation (getting ready): There is a clear awareness of the problem and the need to learn how to change.

Action (time to move): The person starts to terminate unhealthy behaviors and develop new, more positive behaviors.

Maintenance (staying there): action behaviors are practiced and continually reinforced until they become automatic and last for an extended period of time.

It is important for you to ascertain what stage you are in for the various problematic eating disorder behaviors you experience. Increased understanding will yield a greater likelihood of actual complete recovery.

Exercise: List your eating disordered/addiction behaviors. For each behavior, list the corresponding stage of change where you are in your process of change. If you have any behaviors in the earlier stages of change, list the pros and cons of change. When you understand the pros and cons of change, you will better understand your fears. When you understand your fears, you will better be able to develop alternative, healthy ways to address those fears.

source: Dr. Henah Gupta, Ph.D. and Eating Disorders: The Journey to Recovery Workbook (2001)

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The presentation was great and this model can be used not only for people in all different stages of recovery but for practically any area of our lives where we want to make positive, effective, lasting change!

peace, hope and love,