Quote for Today

Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
~ Virginia Satir

Support Group Meeting This Weekend

Hi All,

There will be a meeting this Sunday, July 20th, 2008 at 7:00 PM at our regular meeting place:

Flamingo Road Church - on the north west corner of Flamingo Road and Stirling Road in Cooper City, FL (Room 127 - Volunteer Central) on the 1st floor of the main auditorium building.

Join us for an hour of support, education and encouragement.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Note: Nikki Kramer and Sarah Greene will be at the meeting this weekend! :-)

The Train Station

Hi all,

I have been out of the country for the last several days. Just getting to a computer tonight for the first time since last week. Greetings from Madrid, Spain. Today I visited El Museo Nacional del Prado . In order to reach the museum, we traveled by train.

Looking at the train station and maps, I noticed there were several different ways to get to the same place amd some routes that looked like the way, but could potentially lead us in the opposite direction of where we needed to go. We were very fortunate to have my cousin Gaby (she lives in Spain) leading the way and helping us reach our destination.

This just got me thinking...in recovery, there is more than one way to get to were you want to go. Some paths might seem like the way can lead you in the oposite direction. Were are you today? Are you on the right train? Do you know where it is taking you? Are you heading in the right direction?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

It's Only Life

Thought this was a great song and wanted to share with you all...I heard music by Kate Voegele on Jaime's blog, and looked up more Kate Voegele songs on iTunes. Thought "It's Only Life" was awesome!!! You can read Jaime's blog by clicking HERE. Thanks for sharing your favorite tunes Jaime!!!

So here is "It's Only Life" by Kate Voegele...Enjoy!



peace, hope and love,

Lily

Quote for Today

The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.
-- Bernard M. Baruch

Now Playing

I love TiVo. Since I bought it, I do not have to run home to watch a show...When I first got it, my intention was to make "prime time" hours, "my time"....and have more time for other things....but if I am being completely honest, I watch more TV now than before I had Tivo.

I am not going to blame TiVo. It is the choices I have made about Tivo and how I spend my time that have gotten me to where I am with it....I am going to be away for the next twelve days. no access to TiVo or American TV...that's got me thinking...What are 5 things I could do if I was not spending so much time with my friend TiVo? I intend to spend the next twelve days figuring that out...

How about you? Is there something in your life that is taking up too much of your time...are you blaming that "something" instead of owning up to the choices you have made up to this point? What are the top five things you would like to make time for? It is all about the choices we make. It is never too late to start making better ones...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Quote for Today

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Celebrating Freedom

According to Dictionary.com, Freedom is the power to exercise choice and make decisions without constraint from within or without; autonomy; self-determination.

One of the gifts of recovery is the possibility of living in freedom from the chains of addiction, fear, anxiety and obsession.

The purpose of treatment, and working towards recovery, is so you can one day, be FREE!

Today, in the United States, we celebrate Independence Day.

Whether you are just starting or well on your way to recovery...take the time today and everyday to be thankful, remember and celebrate that you are on your way to freedom!

Happy Fourth of July!

Recovery is possible. You can be free!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

On The Corner

I was standing across this street today (on a sidewalk) with a group of people, waiting to cross a street.

All of a sudden, I felt a hand pull me back. A pick-up truck had turned in front of us and drove onto the sidewalk. Its tires passed by very close to our feet. The hand was that of a stranger. Someone I did not know. The lady pulled me back along with her right before the truck got on the sidewalk.

I didn't get a chance to thank her. It was so fast. As soon as the truck passed, the whole group of us crossed the street and the stranger's hand was lost in the crowd. Like an angel.
What a God-send!

Is there someone in your life that is leading you towards safety? People like this come into our lives sometimes. Don't resist, don't ignore them, accept the help, and be thankful they came into your life at just the right time...

Thank you so much to the lady in Coral Gables today. You came into my life at just the right time.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Glass of Water and The Ambulance

I receive a daily motivational quote/story email, and the following was one that made me stop and think. The author is unknown. The analogy so true and powerful. Here it is:

"A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, 'How heavy is this glass of water?' Answers called out ranged from four ounces up to twelve. The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.

"'If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden, if we feel we must.

"'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax. Pick them up later after you've rested.'"


— Author Unknown

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I know there have been times, even recently, when I have held onto something for too long until it becomes unhealthy for me and I have to remember to let go...how about you? have you been holding on to something for so long that you might have to call a figurative or literal ambulance soon? Let it go and ask for help if you need to...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Yes You Can - The Dick and Rick Hoyt Story

Have you ever heard the story of father and son team Dick and Rick Hoyt? Their message is YES YOU CAN. After seeing this interview, you will see why....



for more information about Dick and Rick Hoyt, you can go to their website at: http://www.teamhoyt.com/

to read the article Strongest Dad in the World , that appeared in Sports Illustrated in June of 2005. Click HERE

Remember: Yes you can!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

What I Learned Today

No, this is not a commercial about tires, Honda Civics (even though I am so very happy how my car performed today - kept me safe) or The Dukes of Hazzard, but my day today and the lesson I learned includes all three. Here it goes:

So I was driving to work today, in my 3 month old Honda Civic with three month old brand new tires. I have to admit, up until today, I do way too much while driving with the excuse that I am in bumper to bumper barely moving traffic. Since traffic was not moving much, I was driving, while putting on make-up, listening to a book on CD, with my blackberry/cell phone on my lap.

All of a sudden, I realized I was heading straight towards the car in front of me that had just stopped and I was going at 35 miles per hour. I hit the breaks and turned the wheel. Missed the car by a couple of inches (didn't hit the car thank God) and my car jumped (yes, jumped) on a sidewalk and the whole right side of my car stopped just inches from a fence. It was like a Dukes of Hazard moment (my favorite TV show growing up), but in a very bad way. Scariest moment I have spent in a car EVER.

Here are the lessons I learned and I wanted to share them with you:

1) The most important thing you can do and should focus on is whatever you are doing right now. Stay present. Stay in the moment.
2) Remember that small actions/decisions can lead to big consequences for you and for those around you.
3) Follow the advice of those that love you, want the best for you and are more experienced than you.
4) Learn from your mistakes.
5) Be willing to change/let go of behaviors that can harm you and others.
6) Be thankful that, despite decisions you have made even this morning, you still have a chance to make better choices from now on.
7) What you see on TV is not always as fun and as exciting as it is made out to be.
8) Forgive yourself.

That is what I learned today. In the end, there was no damage to other people or property. I walked away unharmed yet very shaken up and a whole lot wiser...and I busted one of my tires which I ended up having to get replaced at the dealer. Other than that, my car had no other damage.

My blackberry and makeup will stay in my purse and when it is time to drive, I will keep it safe and simple and just drive.

For those of you born in the 80's or later, just in case you don't know who they are, here is The Dukes of Hazard intro song from 1979. Never want to feel like I am driving the General Lee again...



peace, hope and love,

Lily

When Fretting Is in Your DNA

This article appeared in the Wall Street Journal several months ago. I found it very interesting and wanted to share it with you...











When Fretting Is in Your DNA: Overcoming the Worry Gene
by Melinda Beck

Worry warts often believe they inherited their tendency to stew from their parents. Biology does play a role, research suggests, but there are things you can do to break the cycle of agonizing.

Researchers at Yale have identified a gene mutation for "rumination" -- the kind of chronic worry in which people obsess over negative thoughts. It's a variation of a gene known as BDNF that's active in the hippocampus, an area of the brain involved in thinking and memory. In a study of 200 mothers and daughters published in the journal Neuroscience Letters last month, the Yale scientists found that those who had been depressed in their youth were more likely to be ruminators and to have this particular variation of BDNF.

The discovery adds to a growing body of evidence that depression involves an inability to control negative thoughts, not just excess emotion, says psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, one of the Yale investigators. And just because rumination has genetic roots doesn't mean it's inescapable, she says. "People can learn to stop these thought processes and have better emotional health."

Some successful professionals find that worry works for them. Imagining everything that might go wrong, and preparing for it, is known as "defensive pessimism."

"I spend all day thinking of ways to gain an advantage over my adversaries, and I assume they're doing the same thing," says Victor Bushell, a partner at Bushell, Sovak, Ozer & Gulmi LLP. "If that was your job description, wouldn't you be worried?"

Other people use worry as a kind of magical shield -- if they worry that the plane will crash, it won't. It doesn't, ergo, they have to worry on every flight.

Worrying also seems to be part of some people's personalities. "I've been furrowing my forehead forever -- you could pick me out in kindergarten," says Pam Abramson Grisman, who runs a custom-writing business in Mill Valley, Calif. "These days, I worry about my parenting. Prior to that, it was focused completely on the workplace. Prior to that, it was, 'Am I cool enough to live?' "

But worrying is wearying, she says: "It's like chronic pain, and ultimately it doesn't shield you anymore. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Then you have a heart attack."

Chronic worry can, in fact, lead to a variety of health issues, including headaches, gastrointestinal problems, high blood pressure, anxiety and depression, studies have shown. Rumination, which focuses more on past events than future what-ifs, has also been linked to binge eating, binge-drinking and self-harm. Ruminators may be subconsciously trying to stop their harmful thoughts, says Dr. Nolen-Hoeksema. "Disengaging is really, really hard -- you see that in their neural activity and in their behavior," she adds. But studies have shown that doing something distracting for just 10 minutes can break the cycle and help people tackle problems more effectively.

Techniques from cognitive-behavioral therapy can also help worriers stop the kind of thinking that just makes them miserable.

"It's all about finding the balance between productive and unproductive worrying," says psychologist Robert L. Leahy, director of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy in New York City. "Say to yourself, 'Is this worry leading to a To Do list?' If it doesn't lead to some action on your part today, set it aside."

He suggests literally reserving 20 minutes a day to worry. If you can postpone worrying, you are exercising control over it, rather than letting it control you.

And learn to accept some risks. "Worriers feel a tremendous intolerance for uncertainty. They get the idea that worrying can eliminate it. But you can't prepare for everything," Dr. Leahy adds. He also suggests a simple "exposure" technique: Practice saying or writing whatever you fear most, such as, "the plane is going to crash" or "I'm going to lose my job." "Repeat it over and over again slowly, like a zombie, and the fear will begin to subside," he says. Eventually, "you'll just get bored with it."

source: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120035992325490045.html

Eating Disorder Support Group in Coral Springs, FL

Hi all,
As we shared at our last meeting, there is a new Free Eating Disorder Support Group in Coral Springs Florida.

Meeting Location: 7501 Wiles Rd. Suite 105, Coral Springs, FL 33065

Contact: 954-346-8300

Date/Time: Thursdays at 6 p.m.

Website: http://www.regaonline.info/Locations.htm

peace, hope and love,

Lily

What is Normal Eating ?

This is copy of the handout we used for our discussion last meeting with Jessica Gallego MS RD LD/N.

Normal eating is being able to eat when you are hungry and continue eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -- not just stop eating because you think you should.

Normal eating is being able to use some moderate constraint on you food selection to get the right food, but not being so restrictive that you miss out on pleasurable foods.

Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. (later on in recovery)

Normal eating is three meals a day, most of the time, but it can also be choosing to munch along. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful when they are fresh.

Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. It is overeating at times; feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. (later on in recovery) It is also undereating at times and wishing you had more.

Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

In short, normal eating is flexible and moderate. It varies in response to your emotions, your schedule, your hunger and your proximity to food.

source: Ellyn Satter, 1998

Thought for Today

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you."

~ Unknown

Thought for Today

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated.

~ Sharon Salzberg

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This thought reminds me of my favorite quote:

"Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around"
~ Vanilla Sky (2001)

May you and I always remember that every day, every moment...we have a chance to begin to leave behind what does not work for us and walk towards the life we want.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

ABCs - Being Thankful

It is good to get back to the ABCs (the basics), to what we know works, if we see that we are not going in the right direction in recovery.

One of the things that has helped me when I am feeling down is writing down what I am thankful for. So I can focus on what works, what I have, versus what I do not have. Being thankful is one of my ABCs.

Here is my list of things I am thankful for / things I enjoy (in ABC order)...

American Idol Season, and Amazon.com

Brother (Victor and my sister in law Flora), Broward ANAD Support Group, Books, Blogging, and Blokbuster Video

Cheerios, Christmas in Arizona, Chamomile Tea and CNN

Dogs (my dog Mugsy)

Eating Disorder Recovery

Family, Friends, Faith, Forgiveness, Flowers and Flamingo Road Church (love you all !!)

God and Google

Hugs, Honda Civic (my new fuel efficient car) and Harry Potter

iTunes, iPod, iMac and iTrip

Journey - (the good and the bad has made me who I am today), Jamba Juice and Jeans

Kipling Bags

Libraries and Love

Movie Theaters and Music

Nephews (my baby nephew Jonah and my Nephew Alec)

Overcoming Obstacles

Parents (mom Lilian and Dad Victor), Pillows, comfortable Pajamas, Positive Thinking

Q - not being perfect - I can’t think of something that starts with Q!!! :-)

Rest and Relaxation

Second chances, my Support System (thanks so much!), Shopping Malls, and Sea World

Today (Psalm 118:24)

US Citizenship

Vacations and Venezuela

What Happy People Know by Dan Baker PhD

X-Rays (2nd set) and other tests that, in 1997, revealed it was a really bad case of pneumonia and not the big C.

You! reading my blog right now! and Yoga

Zzzzzzzz ( a good night sleep)

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What is one thing you are thankful for? One thing you enjoy doing? What is one of your ABCs (something you know works that can help get you back on track?)

peace, hope and love,

Lily

ANAD Broward Summer and Fall Schedule

Hello everyone,
As promised, here are our upcoming meeting dates. Please note that we will have one meeting in July, one meeting in August and we will be returning to our regular schedule in September 2008.

Upcoming Meeting Dates

Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

Sunday, July 20th, 2008

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

Sunday, September 7th, 2008

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

Sunday, October 5th, 2008

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

Sunday, November 16th, 2008

note: we will announce December meetings soon.

Recovery is possible!

ANAD Broward County Chapter

Quote for Today

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

~Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)

Moods - Keep On Truckin'

For the next several weeks, the theme/series at my church (our meeting place) is Moods: How to Keep on Trukin' Even Through Difficult Times, this weekend (June 7-8, 2008), the teaching is on Joy: ½ FULL or ½ EMPTY? I hear that in the coming weeks, they will also be talking about other "moods" like anger, sadness/depression, insecurity, etc.

Here is the series promo video:



for service times, you can click HERE

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Guest Speaker This Weekend - Jessica Gallego MS RD LD/N

We have a guest speaker this weekend, Jessica Gallego MS RD LD/N, nutritionist from The Renfrew Center will be visiting with us this Sunday, June 8th, 2008 at 7:00 PM.

Look forward to seeing you at our regular meeting place: Flamingo Road Church, room 127 (volunteer central - first floor, main auditorium building) on the north west corner of Flamingo Road and Stirling Road.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Pop Quiz

Yesterday was a day of insight and reflection. I have been going through a bit of a rough spot for the last several weeks. Feeling blue, down, frustrated, irritable, tired, not knowing where I want to go but not wanting to go anywhere else or move from where I am at...

Yesterday, someone I trust helped me see/remember the connection between the way I am feeling and the way I have been living my life (who would've thunk it right!!!???...that there is a connection) :-)

When I was first recovering from an eating disorder and depression, I needed a stress free, risk free, predictable, easy, safe, environment. It served its purpose for a while. It helped me heal.

As I have progressed in my growth and recovery (for several years now), I have, for the most part, avoided taking risks, taking chances....and I have putt off things I have wanted to do...

All this thinking today reminded me of a pop quiz that I took on the blog of one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Palacios. Heather was working on a teaching on "Seizing the Day". I took this quiz three months ago (March 3rd) on her blog. Here is the quiz and my answers below (I promise I have a point)....

THE "SEIZE THE DAY" POP QUIZ

What are you putting off?

A. My next step in faith

B. My next step in my conflict resolution

C. My next step in a relationship

D. My next step in my health

E. My next step in my calling/vocation

F. Other

Why are you putting it off?

A. I'm scared

B. I'm lazy

C. I'm indifferent

D. I'm not convicted enough

E. I'm already doing it the easier way

F. Other

MY ANSWERS

what I am putting off?

A, C, D, E

why?

moslty A, and a bit of D. and E.

I am just playing it "safe" right now, but it hurts sometimes because I know there is so much more I could be doing....

***************************

What I learned/remembered today and will continue to learn/remember in the months to come is that

1. I change, people change, life changes, my needs change. Behaviors, people, and places that once served a purpose in my life, may not work anymore and I have to embrace the fact that I need to make some changes in my life today, in the coming months and probably many times in the future because that is just the way life is.

2. Avoiding change to avoid pain and therefore remain in an illusion of "safety" for too long is not the answer. It hurts, and can lead to frustration, sadness, unhappiness, and may leave voids in our life that we might be tempted to fill with the wrong things....

3. I took this quiz on Heat(her)'s blog three months ago, and then just put it aside and didn't explore my feelings further. That is the third lesson. If we do not deal with feelings that come up and choose to ignore them, they will come up again and again, until they have our full attention. Don't hide feelings away, work through them so you can move on.

4. At the same time, We have to remember to be kind and patient with ourselves, because life is not perfect, and neither are we...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Question for Today

"Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring."

Question for today: "Am I living one day at a time?"

source: Twenty Four Hours A Day for Teens by Anonymous

What Did I Do? I Took My Medicine.

Here is one of my favorite posts. I wrote it in September of 2007. I use it often, in my life, to remind myself that sometimes have to do what I know I have to do, even though I may not want to...

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I often hear from people struggling with eating disorders: I want to get better but....I don't want to go to therapy, I do not want to be on a meal plan, I do not want to take X or Y medicine, I don't want to tell my support system about what has been going on with me, etc., etc. etc...

I used to think that way too, when I was sick...I remember I even told a therapist when I did an admissions interview at Renfrew..."I want to get better but I do not want to gain any weight"....sound familiar?

So what did I do to get better? I (literally and figuratively) Took My Medicine...I did what I knew I had to do, even though I didn't want to...

This was "My Medicine":
I...
1. went to therapy
2. went to a support group at Renfrew
2. saw a psychiatrist
3. took anti-depressants
4. consulted with a nutritionist
5. kept a food journal
6. followed a meal plan to help the structure relieve my anxiety and break the addiction
6. kept a personal journal
7. stopped exercising until I felt comfortable that I could do it for the right reasons
8. was honest and reached out to my support system - professionals, family and friends (figured if ED did not want me to share something, that was the first thing I had to talk about - still do that with my therapist to this day)
9. re-evaluated relationships in my life and my career choice, both big causes of stress, and made some changes.
10. read a lot about recovery, personal growth, self-esteem, etc.

I did all these things even though at times, I did not want to...Did I stumble? Of course! I did, but I just got back up and kept on going...sometimes took longer to get back up than others but that is ok.

So I took my medicine, that is how I got better.

What is your Medicine? What are some things you have to do to recover even though you may not want to, be it short term or long term?

peace, hope and love,

Lily