Sample Affirmations and the Science Behind Positive Thinking

Affirmations are a great way to practice positive thinking. According to research, positive emotions/thoughts improve mental function, which enhances brain biochemistry. Enhanced brain biochemistry in turn inspires more positive thoughts, and the whole process begins again. This upward spiral is as powerful as the downward spiral of negative thoughts.

Here are some sample affirmations for those of you that asked tonight at the meeting:

I am free.

My mind is clear.

I am safe.

I accept myself just as I am.

I respect, love and care for my body.

My life is a life of choice.

I live for today.

I stay in the moment.

I am ok just the way I am.

Today I am content with my life.

Today I keep it simple.

I am willing.

I live one day at a time.

I am not alone.

I am ok.

I embrace the journey.

************

so affirmations are not busy work, fluff, or some cool fad. They are a way to practice, learn and internalize positive, healthy ways of thinking and being.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Coping with the Holidays

Our meeting topic this Sunday will be Coping with the Holidays. Make sure to join us for an hour of support, information and encouragement. See you this Sunday, November 18th at 7:00 PM at our usual meeting place. Room 127 in the main auditorium building at Flamingo Road Church in Cooper City, FL.

peace, hope and love,

ANAD Broward County Chapter

Happy Vs. Unhappy Research

Research shows that:
"Happy people do not experience one success after another and unhappy people, one failure after another. Instead, surveys show that happy people and unhappy people tend to have had very similar life experiences. The difference is that the average unhappy person spends more than twice as much time thinking about unpleasant events in their lives, while happy people tend to seek and rely upon information that brightens their personal outlook." (Lyubomirsky, 1994)

source: The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It by David Niven, Ph.D.

The Power of Language and Stories

Hi all,
This is a continuation of ideas related to the previous post on The Power of Choice.

Check out the latest picture of my nephew Jonah (you can click on it to see a bigger picture). Doesn't he look extremely happy?

I showed this picture to a lady at work and she asked me a question that really stayed with me and got me thinking. She said:

"What happens with this kind of happiness when we grow up? "

Her question made me think...so what is different between us and Jonah? What is something we have that he does not have? Answers are many, but I am going to focus on one of the major differences: The Power of Language and Stories. Jonah does not have language or stories yet.

I am reading a book right now called What Happy People Know by Dan Baker, Ph.D. In this book he talks about Six Happiness Tools and Six Happiness Traps.

The Power of Language and Stories is one of the happiness tools and here is what the author says:

"We don't describe the world we see, we see the world we describe. Language, as the single most fundamental force of the human intellect, has the power to alter perception. We think in words and these words have the power to limit us or to set us free; they can frighten us or evoke our courage (...) the stories we tell ourselves about our own life eventually become our lives. We can tell healthy stories or horror stories. The choice is ours."

************

So we obviously can't go back to being babies in the physical/intellectual sense, but I think it is possible to recapture some of that lost happiness.

Listening to our own stories of fear of not being enough (The Negative Mind) had the power to bring us to the depths of addiction...I believe the opposite is also true.

Imagine what is possible if we use the power of language and stories to our advantage...

til next time,

The Power of Choice

The following is one of my favorite statements on the power of the choices we make... I remember hearing this for the first time a while back and going WOW! For me, this quote was one of those "AHA!" moments....



"Why do we keep re-creating the same reality?
Why do we keep having the same relationships?
Why do we keep getting the same jobs...
over and over again?

In this infinite sea of potentials that exist around us...
how come we keep re-creating the same realities?

Isn't it amazing that we have options and potentials that exist...
but we're unaware of them?

Is it possible that we're so conditioned to our daily lives...
so conditioned to the way we create our lives...
that we buy the idea that we have no control at all?"

~ Dr. Joe Dispenza

***********

we all have a choice and our future does not have to be an extension of our past...

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Keep Going by Ralph Marston

Hi All,

Here is the poem we used to close the meeting tonight.

Keep Going
When you've reached the goal you've chosen for yourself, set
your sights on an even higher objective. And keep going.

When things have not worked out the way you planned, learn
the valuable lessons that the experience has to offer. And
keep going.

The key to meaningful achievement is not in how clever you
are or how lucky you are or in how much advantage you can
gain over others. The key is to keep going.

When other people give you encouragement, insight and
assistance, thank them for their help while offering your
own special value to in return. And keep going.

When others seek to block your every effort, raise yourself
up to where you can clearly see beyond their petty,
shortsighted attempts. And keep going.

Whatever may come or go or happen or fail to happen, there
is always a way, some way or another, to keep going. You
will get wherever you wish to go when you consistently
choose, in each moment, to simply, thankfully and gracefully
keep going.

~ Ralph Marston

Powerful Quote for Today

this quote is so full of truth and so powerful, I am just going to let it stand alone...

"And the day came
when the risk it took
to remain tight inside the bud
was more painful
than the risk it took
to blossom."
-Anais Nin




source: Heather Palacios, LeadHERship

Taking Flight

Here is a cool quote I found today...
“You can't take flight without looking up and letting go.”

Isn't it true, that many times we say we want to move forward, move on, but can't let go of the very people, places, things, memories, behaviors, ways of thinking and being that are holding us back?

What are you holding on to that is not letting you take flight? are you living in the past instead of looking up? what do you have to let go of, so you can take a hold of recovery and take flight towards a happy, healthy, balanced life?

You know what the cool thing is about letting go of what does not work? that it frees up space in our lives for what does...

peace, hope and love,

Who do I listen to?

Hi All,
I have been doing a lot of thinking this week....I've been trying to help someone that I care about but this someone does not want to be helped...and it got me thinking...we have to want recovery even though we might not know exactly how we are going to get there, we have to want to have a better life, no one can make that choice for us...no one can make that choice for you...

Going back to the medicine cabinet analogy, I think something else I would add to my medicine cabinet of recovery is: listening to others. This is not a easy one though.....because it begs the question: who do I listen to? I can't listen to everybody...

This brings to mind something I learned from Troy Gramling during one of his recent teaching series. He shared his criteria on who he listens to. I have incorporated this criteria into my medicine cabinet...

Who should I listen to? I should listen to those that

1. love me
2. believe in me
3. have my best interests at heart
4. are wiser than me in a certain area
5. are honest with me

all five are not always going to be there of course because #1 usually applies to friends and family, but your professional support system should meet #2 - #5...

it is hard to listen to others, sometimes even harder if we know, deep down inside, that they are some of these people.

so who are you listening to? who are you not listening to that you know deep down inside loves you, or believes in you, has your best interests at heart, is wiser than you in a certain area and/or is being honest with you? is this something you have to add to your medicine cabinet of recovery?

peace, hope and love,

Some Days Are Like That...

Here is the title of the book we used to close the meeting last night. It is: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
the author's name is Judith Viorst.

In this book, Alexander is having such a bad day he thinks he should move to Australia,but in the end he learns that:

Some days are like that...even in Australia.

Thought for the Day

Each moment, taken alone, was always bearable. ~ Julia Cameron

The Real Me by Natalie Grant

Hi All,
After a lot of reading, researching and practicing, here is my first iMovie "titles over black" slide show. It is the music and lyrics for a cool song that I wanted to share with you....I even posted it on youtube...!! The Real Me is a recovery song written and performed by singer/songwriter Natalie Grant as a result of her struggle and recovery from bulimia.

Here it is. Just click on the play button at the center of the image...hope you like it...It is one of my favorite recovery songs.

Peace, Hope and Love,

A Question for Today

"If we try to hide our problems, we cannot get help for them. To get help we must tell people where we're really at. No one can read a closed book."

Question for Today: "Am I open with others?"

source: http://www.hazelden.org/web/landing.view

********
Remember to be honest with yourselves, and with all of those in your support system...

Make it a great weekend,

Lily

Saying No Part 2

Tips for Saying NO to Unfair Requests and Demands
source: http://www.crystalinks.com/assertiveness.html

1. Be sure where you stand first, i.e., whether you want to say yes or no. If not sure, say you need time to think it over and let the person know when you will have an answer.

2. Ask for clarification if you don't fully understand what is requested of you.

3. Be as brief as possible, i.e., give a legitimate reason for your refusal, but avoid long elaborate explanations and justifications. Such excuses may be used by the other person to argue you out of your "no."

4. Actually use the word "no" when declining. "No" has more power and is less ambiguous than, "Well, I just don't think so..."

5. Make sure your nonverbal gestures mirror your verbal messages. Shake your head when saying "no." Often people unknowingly nod their heads and smile when they are attempting to decline or refuse.

6. Use the words "I won't" or "I've decided not to", rather than "I can't" or "I shouldn't". This emphasizes that you have made a choice.

7. You may have to decline several times before the person hears you. It is not necessary to come up with a new explanation each time, just repeat your "no" and your original reason for declining.

8. If the person persists even after you have repeated your NO several times, you have a right to end the conversation.

9. You may want to acknowledge any feelings another has about your refusal, "I know this will be a disappointment to you, but I won't be able to..."

10. Avoid feeling guilty -- it is not up to you to solve everyones' problems...

11. If you do not want to agree to the person's original request, but still desire to help her/him out, offer a compromise: "I will not be able to baby sit the whole afternoon, but I can sit for two hours."

12. You can change your mind and say NO to a request you originally said YES to. All the above applies to your change of mind.

Saying No and Taking Care of Me

Every time I think I have learned all of my life-lessons, I realize that there is still something more to learn right round the corner. After all, that is life right? If we are healthy, we continue to grow and change...

One of my biggest struggles used to be with assertiveness, and wholeheartedly understanding that my needs do matter and that it is OK and necessary for me to take care of myself and that it is OK to say no and be honest with myself and others about what I say YES to and what I say NO to...

This has definitely been the year of learning to say NO and let me tell you, it has been quite the experience....Sorry, I cannot lead two big volunteer groups at the same time, just one...I can't be available in this relationship only when it is convenient for you or when you have nothing else to do....I cannot work crazy overtime hours, I am committed to living a balanced life...I need time to think about this...I need my space....I don't feel comfortable with X, Y, Z...I respect but don't agree with your point of view...

I used to be the biggest people pleaser most of my life...saying yes to everything and everybody because I was afraid of rejection, of hurting, disappointing, letting others down, etc., etc., etc...because my sense of worth was tied to the approval of others...

I would say YES even though I wanted to say NO, and then feel angry, resentful, anxious, uncomfortable...

It is hard to say NO, I still struggle with it sometimes, it was scary in the beginning, and you know what? sometimes people don't like it....but is is so liberating...might be uncomfortable sometimes, but it is totally worth it for my peace of mind...It has also helped me identify who is in my life just because I said YES, and who respects, cares and/or understands my NOs.

I have found that as I have learned to take care of myself, to value my needs, it has been easier to say NO to ED too...

Do you have a hard time saying NO? Who or what do you have a hard time saying no to? Do you say YES when you want to say NO? What in your life do you have to say NO to so you can say YES to recovery?

In my next post I'll include some tips on Saying NO...check back soon...

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily

Shapesville

Hi All,
Here is the info on the book we used to close the meeting last night: Shapesville by Andy Mills , Becky Osborn , Erica Neitz

It is a great book for children and adults alike. Simple, yet with a very powerful message.

Remember: "it’s not the size of your shape or the shape of your size, but the size of your heart that deserves first prize."

Make it a great day!

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily

Lesson from Baby Jonah

Hi all,
Check out the latest picture of my baby nephew. He will be 3 months old next week. Every time I see one of his pictures I am reminded of what an amazing miracle life is and also of how fast time goes by.

Today, when I received this picture in my inbox, I though wow! check out how much he has changed in two and a half months!

Children grow and change at a very fast rate of course, but it just made me think that so much is happening and is possible in our lives and in the world around us.

I just thought...

What short term goals have I set for myself in the last couple of months? Which ones have I followed through with? What new habits am I trying to incorporate to my daily life? How would my life be different today if I stuck with a healthy habit I wanted to make a part of my life?

Hey, don't get me wrong, I am not talking about regret...it is just a reflection, a challenge, a call to action from here on out...Imagine how different our lives can be if we take small step towards healthy growth and transformation every day? How different would we be in a month, two months, a year? Just take it one day at a time and find out!

See you this Sunday, October 7th at 7:00 PM at our usual meeting place.

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily

Some Basic Points About Negative Self-Talk

Hi all,
Here is some cool info I found on Negative Self-Talk.

Check it out:

source: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D.

• Self-Talk is usually so automatic and subtle that you don't notice it, or the effect it has on your moods and feelings. You react without noticing what you told yourself right before you reacted.

• Self-Talk often appears in telegraphic form. One short word or image contains a whole series of thoughts, memories, or associations.

• Anxious Self-Talk is typically irrational but almost always sounds like truth.

• Negative Self-Tak perpetuates avoidance. You tell yourself that a situation is dangerous so you avoid it (...) anxious self-talk leads to avoidance, avoidance brings further anxious self talk, and around and around the circle goes.

• Negative Self-Talk is a series of bad habits. You learned to think that way. Just as you can replace other unhealthy behavioral habits (i.e. smoking, drinking too much coffee, etc.) you can replace unhealthy thinking with more positive, healthy mental habits.

*******************
Remember, we need to learn to recognize, distinguish, disagree and disobey our negative self-talk. A great exercise is found in Life Without ED when the author suggests we ask ourselves: What does my eating disorder (ED) want me to do today? and what do I have to do in order to stay in recovery?

It is great news that negative self-talk is a series of bad habits and that it is learned behavior because that means, if others can learn to replace "unhealthy thinking with more positive, healthy mental habits" and are successful, so can you!

Peace, Hope and Love.

Lily

Thank You

Hi all,
Just wanted to send a great big thank you to Jeff Jabick, LMHC for visiting with us last Sunday, September 23rd, 2007 and presenting on Self-Esteem. Jeff not only shared great insight and information but also stayed afterwards in order to answer questions and also help those that were struggling one on one for an additional hour.

Thanks so much Jeff for visiting with us at ANAD Broward as a guest speaker and giving generously of yout time to help those in recovery.

We look forward to having you as a guest speaker again soon.

ANAD Broward County Chapter

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
~ Leo Buscaglia

Lesson from My New iMac

Hi all,
I got a new computer this weekend. A new iMac. It is supposed to do amazing things, or so I've heard. It has been a real learning experience, an unexpected lesson in patience, change, and stick-to-it-ivness (is that a word ??)...

I am a little behind on my emails and blogging but will be back soon..I couldn't even find the power button when I took it out of the box! Had to look it up...Have been transferring all my files from my pc to the iMac this week...takes a while to get myself organized...

As I struggle tonight to make sure my citrix (remote) connection is operational so I can work from home tomorrow (have been trying to make it work for over two hours now) I am doing my best to not get frustrated and be thankful that I was able to buy this amazing computer and look forward to all of the new cool things I will be able to learn....

And as I write this post, I just thought of the definition of insanity...that is what I have been doing for the last two hours trying to fix this computer problem, trying the same thing or "a different version" of the same thing, over and over again and expecting a different result without asking for help....

I am tired and starting to get really frustrated.....so I am going to do something different....just going to turn the computer off, relax and, tomorrow, I will ask for help from technical support....

So here is the Lesson from My New iMac....

Are you engaging in a behavior/way of living/doing something over and over again and it is not working? Are you tired of being stuck, frustrated? Take a break, rest, try something new and ask for help if you need to...

Will be back to blogging in the next day or so...

Check back soon,

Lily :-)

What Did I Do? I Took My Medicine...

I often hear from people struggling with eating disorders: I want to get better but....I don't want to go to therapy, I do not want to be on a meal plan, I do not want to take X or Y medicine, I don't want to tell my support system about what has been going on with me, etc., etc. etc...

I used to think that way too, when I was sick...I remember I even told a therapist when I did an admissions interview at Renfrew..."I want to get better but I do not want to gain any weight"....sound familiar?

So what did I do to get better? I (literally and figuratively) Took My Medicine...I did what I knew I had to do, even though I didn't want to...

This was "My Medicine":
I...
1. went to therapy
2. went to a support group at Renfrew
2. saw a psychiatrist
3. took anti-depressants
4. consulted with a nutritionist
5. kept a food journal
6. followed a meal plan to help the structure relieve my anxiety and break the addiction
6. kept a personal journal
7. stopped exercising until I felt comfortable that I could do it for the right reasons
8. was honest and reached out to my support system - professionals, family and friends (figured if ED did not want me to share something, that was the first thing I had to talk about - still do that with my therapist to this day)
9. re-evaluated relationships in my life and my career choice, both big causes of stress, and made some changes.
10. read a lot about recovery, personal growth, self-esteem, etc.

I did all these things even though at times, I did not want to...Did I stumble? Of course! I did, but I just got back up and kept on going...sometimes took longer to get back up than others but that is ok.

So I took my medicine, that is how I got better.

What is your Medicine? What are some things you have to do to recover even though you may not want to, be it short term or long term?

See you this Sunday, September 23rd, 2007 at 7:00PM at our usual meeting place...

Lily

A Lesson from Baby Jonah

Hi all,
So here is a new picture of Jonah, my baby nephew. He is officialy 2 months old as of last week.

Looking at his picture, I am reminded of not just how fast time flies, but how important it is to enjoy and live in the moment...I have learned that regretting and living in the past brings depression and worrying about the future brings anxiety...so learn from your past and plan for your future, but please remember to fully enjoy your present...

Lily

Become an ANAD Internet and Media Guardian

source: http://www.anad.org/10501/22763.html

The ANAD Media and Internet guardians are people, including young people, worldwide, who volunteer to watch the Internet and media- and then contact ANAD about the negative body image or potentially dangerous eating disorders websites and advertising campaigns they discover.

Look for negative messages that:
-Promote eating disorders
-Glamorize thinness and dieting
-Discriminate against weight and shape
-Encourage unrealistic standards and body hatred
-Falsely advertise
-Try to lure young people into accepting the use of laxatives, diuretics, herbal products, and/ordiet supplements

Look for positive messages and role models that:
-Encourage a healthy body image
-Provide a realistic role model
-Promote a healthy lifestyle
-Support the ANAD pledge

For more information and to volunteer to be an ANAD Media and Internet guardian, please go to http://www.anad.org/10501/22763.html and fill out the form at the bottom of the page.

The Land of Hope

Today, as I was driving to work, I received the coolest inspirational devotional on my blackberry (Thanks so much Manny for sharing them daily!) When I read it, I was like wow! I immediately thought of all of you...it is a reflection, a question, and a challenge....here it goes....

Just wanted to share some of what helps and inspires me....

*********************************
The Land of Hope
“I’ve pitched my tent in the Land of Hope”
(Acts 2:26 ~ The Message).

Where have you pitched your tent today? What are you expecting to happen in your life? What kind of attitude do you have? If you’re focused on what’s wrong, or what’s not working, it’s time to dig up your tent stakes! It’s time to pack up your belongings and move out of the land of discouragement. Move out of the “Not-going-to-happen” sub-division. Move out of “Can’t-do-it-ville.” It’s time to leave “Self-pity Estates.” Get out of those areas and move into the land of hope, faith, and expectation. Maybe you don’t quite know how to get there, but now’s the time to start looking for that new place...

source: Today's Word with Joel Osteen

*****************************************************
For me the Land of Hope is the assurance that I can be happy regardless of my circumstances because it is in not what happens but what I tell myself about what happens, that determines my attitude (I forget this one sometimes, but I do my best to live it), it is my faith in G-d, my family, my friends.

It is the knowledge that life IS NOT perfect, but the cool thing is that neither am I!! The fact that I can choose to focus on the positive and the good things, and also go through the bad times, grieve, be sad for a while, and come out stronger on the other side.... and it is in the lessons I learn from all of you that walk through the doors of room 127 every other Sunday...lessons of openness, trust, courage, honesty in the midst of pain and the hope for a better life....

So where did you pitch your tent yesterday? last night? this morning? Where did you pitch your tent today? You can choose where to pitch your tent...you can choose to shift your focus from the negative to the positive.....It sounds so simple, so trite, but it is soooo amazingly powerful, and such an important lesson in recovery, believe me, you have a choice...!!!!!!!!!

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily

*G-d is not the usual way I spell G-d but I am doing so in this post in respect to all of our jewish friends...

Mirror, Mirror

I posted this video a couple of months ago. Just wanted to share it again with those of you that are new and may not have seen it. It is the song Mirror, Mirror by BarlowGirl. The song was written and originally performed by singer/songwriter Rebecca Barlow as a result of her battle and triumph over an eating disorder and other addictions..