Saying No and Taking Care of Me

Every time I think I have learned all of my life-lessons, I realize that there is still something more to learn right round the corner. After all, that is life right? If we are healthy, we continue to grow and change...

One of my biggest struggles used to be with assertiveness, and wholeheartedly understanding that my needs do matter and that it is OK and necessary for me to take care of myself and that it is OK to say no and be honest with myself and others about what I say YES to and what I say NO to...

This has definitely been the year of learning to say NO and let me tell you, it has been quite the experience....Sorry, I cannot lead two big volunteer groups at the same time, just one...I can't be available in this relationship only when it is convenient for you or when you have nothing else to do....I cannot work crazy overtime hours, I am committed to living a balanced life...I need time to think about this...I need my space....I don't feel comfortable with X, Y, Z...I respect but don't agree with your point of view...

I used to be the biggest people pleaser most of my life...saying yes to everything and everybody because I was afraid of rejection, of hurting, disappointing, letting others down, etc., etc., etc...because my sense of worth was tied to the approval of others...

I would say YES even though I wanted to say NO, and then feel angry, resentful, anxious, uncomfortable...

It is hard to say NO, I still struggle with it sometimes, it was scary in the beginning, and you know what? sometimes people don't like it....but is is so liberating...might be uncomfortable sometimes, but it is totally worth it for my peace of mind...It has also helped me identify who is in my life just because I said YES, and who respects, cares and/or understands my NOs.

I have found that as I have learned to take care of myself, to value my needs, it has been easier to say NO to ED too...

Do you have a hard time saying NO? Who or what do you have a hard time saying no to? Do you say YES when you want to say NO? What in your life do you have to say NO to so you can say YES to recovery?

In my next post I'll include some tips on Saying NO...check back soon...

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily