On Worry

There used to be times in my life where I worried myself to exhaustion. At the end of the day, I would be so tired, just of worrying all day long...I have learned that I can't worry myself into not worrying. Why is it that we assume we can think our worries into submission? Instead, we have to do something different, and take action!

Here are some tips for dealing with worry:

source: Steve Gillman and Edward Hallowell, M.D.

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1. Take action now. Any action towards a goal tends to diminish worry. Thinking too much about your goals or plans, especially if you dwell on the hurdles, will cause you worry and stress. Of course you should plan well, but when planning drifts towards worrying, it's time to start doing something positive. Take action!

2. Prepare for choice. Nothing crowds and clouds your mind with worry as much as decisions waiting to be made. If you are ready, make them now, or at least start gathering the information you need to make them.

3. Get reassurance. Know which people in your life you can depend on to reassure you, and then ask them for help.

4. Ask for advice / Accept help. No one is an expert on every subject. If you’re in over your head, get input from someone who's more knowledgeable.

5. Don't worry alone. When you share a worry, it almost always diminishes.

6. Use mental categories. Too many things going on in your head? Write them on lists and you may feel better. It works well for many of us worriers. When you are dwelling too much on something, and you stop to schedule a time to work on it, or just put it on a list, it is easier to let go of it for now. You're basically creating "mental categories." In fact, just saying to yourself, "There's nothing I can do about this until Monday," can put a worry into a category of "nothing to worry about right now."

7. Deal with problems directly and quickly. To eliminate worry when there are real problems, try to confront them head-on, and resolve them quickly. The anticipation of problems is what causes the most worry. Just deal with them head on as soon as is possible, and resolve them to the extent possible.

8. Take a break. Do something for yourself, something you enjoy and take a break from your thoughts. Go for a walk, read a book, watch tv, call a friend, go to a movie, etc.

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I worry still, of course, we all do. I just refuse to be paralyzed by fear and worry. I take action, ask for help, share my concerns with people I trust, do something I enjoy (this helps a lot), and schedule time to worry/think/problem solve. Those are some of the things that work for me.

What is something you can do different next time you worry?