Powerful Quote for Today

this quote is so full of truth and so powerful, I am just going to let it stand alone...

"And the day came
when the risk it took
to remain tight inside the bud
was more painful
than the risk it took
to blossom."
-Anais Nin




source: Heather Palacios, LeadHERship

Taking Flight

Here is a cool quote I found today...
“You can't take flight without looking up and letting go.”

Isn't it true, that many times we say we want to move forward, move on, but can't let go of the very people, places, things, memories, behaviors, ways of thinking and being that are holding us back?

What are you holding on to that is not letting you take flight? are you living in the past instead of looking up? what do you have to let go of, so you can take a hold of recovery and take flight towards a happy, healthy, balanced life?

You know what the cool thing is about letting go of what does not work? that it frees up space in our lives for what does...

peace, hope and love,

Who do I listen to?

Hi All,
I have been doing a lot of thinking this week....I've been trying to help someone that I care about but this someone does not want to be helped...and it got me thinking...we have to want recovery even though we might not know exactly how we are going to get there, we have to want to have a better life, no one can make that choice for us...no one can make that choice for you...

Going back to the medicine cabinet analogy, I think something else I would add to my medicine cabinet of recovery is: listening to others. This is not a easy one though.....because it begs the question: who do I listen to? I can't listen to everybody...

This brings to mind something I learned from Troy Gramling during one of his recent teaching series. He shared his criteria on who he listens to. I have incorporated this criteria into my medicine cabinet...

Who should I listen to? I should listen to those that

1. love me
2. believe in me
3. have my best interests at heart
4. are wiser than me in a certain area
5. are honest with me

all five are not always going to be there of course because #1 usually applies to friends and family, but your professional support system should meet #2 - #5...

it is hard to listen to others, sometimes even harder if we know, deep down inside, that they are some of these people.

so who are you listening to? who are you not listening to that you know deep down inside loves you, or believes in you, has your best interests at heart, is wiser than you in a certain area and/or is being honest with you? is this something you have to add to your medicine cabinet of recovery?

peace, hope and love,

Some Days Are Like That...

Here is the title of the book we used to close the meeting last night. It is: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
the author's name is Judith Viorst.

In this book, Alexander is having such a bad day he thinks he should move to Australia,but in the end he learns that:

Some days are like that...even in Australia.

Thought for the Day

Each moment, taken alone, was always bearable. ~ Julia Cameron

The Real Me by Natalie Grant

Hi All,
After a lot of reading, researching and practicing, here is my first iMovie "titles over black" slide show. It is the music and lyrics for a cool song that I wanted to share with you....I even posted it on youtube...!! The Real Me is a recovery song written and performed by singer/songwriter Natalie Grant as a result of her struggle and recovery from bulimia.

Here it is. Just click on the play button at the center of the image...hope you like it...It is one of my favorite recovery songs.

Peace, Hope and Love,

A Question for Today

"If we try to hide our problems, we cannot get help for them. To get help we must tell people where we're really at. No one can read a closed book."

Question for Today: "Am I open with others?"

source: http://www.hazelden.org/web/landing.view

********
Remember to be honest with yourselves, and with all of those in your support system...

Make it a great weekend,

Lily

Saying No Part 2

Tips for Saying NO to Unfair Requests and Demands
source: http://www.crystalinks.com/assertiveness.html

1. Be sure where you stand first, i.e., whether you want to say yes or no. If not sure, say you need time to think it over and let the person know when you will have an answer.

2. Ask for clarification if you don't fully understand what is requested of you.

3. Be as brief as possible, i.e., give a legitimate reason for your refusal, but avoid long elaborate explanations and justifications. Such excuses may be used by the other person to argue you out of your "no."

4. Actually use the word "no" when declining. "No" has more power and is less ambiguous than, "Well, I just don't think so..."

5. Make sure your nonverbal gestures mirror your verbal messages. Shake your head when saying "no." Often people unknowingly nod their heads and smile when they are attempting to decline or refuse.

6. Use the words "I won't" or "I've decided not to", rather than "I can't" or "I shouldn't". This emphasizes that you have made a choice.

7. You may have to decline several times before the person hears you. It is not necessary to come up with a new explanation each time, just repeat your "no" and your original reason for declining.

8. If the person persists even after you have repeated your NO several times, you have a right to end the conversation.

9. You may want to acknowledge any feelings another has about your refusal, "I know this will be a disappointment to you, but I won't be able to..."

10. Avoid feeling guilty -- it is not up to you to solve everyones' problems...

11. If you do not want to agree to the person's original request, but still desire to help her/him out, offer a compromise: "I will not be able to baby sit the whole afternoon, but I can sit for two hours."

12. You can change your mind and say NO to a request you originally said YES to. All the above applies to your change of mind.

Saying No and Taking Care of Me

Every time I think I have learned all of my life-lessons, I realize that there is still something more to learn right round the corner. After all, that is life right? If we are healthy, we continue to grow and change...

One of my biggest struggles used to be with assertiveness, and wholeheartedly understanding that my needs do matter and that it is OK and necessary for me to take care of myself and that it is OK to say no and be honest with myself and others about what I say YES to and what I say NO to...

This has definitely been the year of learning to say NO and let me tell you, it has been quite the experience....Sorry, I cannot lead two big volunteer groups at the same time, just one...I can't be available in this relationship only when it is convenient for you or when you have nothing else to do....I cannot work crazy overtime hours, I am committed to living a balanced life...I need time to think about this...I need my space....I don't feel comfortable with X, Y, Z...I respect but don't agree with your point of view...

I used to be the biggest people pleaser most of my life...saying yes to everything and everybody because I was afraid of rejection, of hurting, disappointing, letting others down, etc., etc., etc...because my sense of worth was tied to the approval of others...

I would say YES even though I wanted to say NO, and then feel angry, resentful, anxious, uncomfortable...

It is hard to say NO, I still struggle with it sometimes, it was scary in the beginning, and you know what? sometimes people don't like it....but is is so liberating...might be uncomfortable sometimes, but it is totally worth it for my peace of mind...It has also helped me identify who is in my life just because I said YES, and who respects, cares and/or understands my NOs.

I have found that as I have learned to take care of myself, to value my needs, it has been easier to say NO to ED too...

Do you have a hard time saying NO? Who or what do you have a hard time saying no to? Do you say YES when you want to say NO? What in your life do you have to say NO to so you can say YES to recovery?

In my next post I'll include some tips on Saying NO...check back soon...

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily

Shapesville

Hi All,
Here is the info on the book we used to close the meeting last night: Shapesville by Andy Mills , Becky Osborn , Erica Neitz

It is a great book for children and adults alike. Simple, yet with a very powerful message.

Remember: "it’s not the size of your shape or the shape of your size, but the size of your heart that deserves first prize."

Make it a great day!

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily

Lesson from Baby Jonah

Hi all,
Check out the latest picture of my baby nephew. He will be 3 months old next week. Every time I see one of his pictures I am reminded of what an amazing miracle life is and also of how fast time goes by.

Today, when I received this picture in my inbox, I though wow! check out how much he has changed in two and a half months!

Children grow and change at a very fast rate of course, but it just made me think that so much is happening and is possible in our lives and in the world around us.

I just thought...

What short term goals have I set for myself in the last couple of months? Which ones have I followed through with? What new habits am I trying to incorporate to my daily life? How would my life be different today if I stuck with a healthy habit I wanted to make a part of my life?

Hey, don't get me wrong, I am not talking about regret...it is just a reflection, a challenge, a call to action from here on out...Imagine how different our lives can be if we take small step towards healthy growth and transformation every day? How different would we be in a month, two months, a year? Just take it one day at a time and find out!

See you this Sunday, October 7th at 7:00 PM at our usual meeting place.

Peace, Hope and Love,

Lily