other people's opinion

"I am not other people's opinion of me"....such an important, liberating lesson to learn....

This Exact Moment

"Take a minute to look around you and find five things about this exact moment for which you are grateful."

~ quote I found on twitter

A Perfect Depiction of Addiction

Last night, there was a Mia Michaels choreography on So You Think You Can Dance about Addiction. Kupono (the guy) represented the addiction and Kayla (the girl) was the addict. What a powerful dance!!! Check it out!!!!!

In Mia Michaels' words:

This piece today is about addiction. I think everybody at one point will have or has had an experience with wanting something that is not good for you...

The Man In The Mirror

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

~ Michael Jackson (1958 - 2009)

Do you stop and listen?

Yesterday I read a very interesting article. In January 2007, The Washington Post arranged a performance by world-renowned violinist Joshua Bell in a Washington metro station as an experiment in context, perception and priorities.

Joshua Bell, dressed in a t-shirt, jeans and baseball cap performed six classical pieces on his $3.5 million dollar violin (handcrafted in 1713 by Antonio Stradivari) for 43 minutes. Over 1,000 people walked past him. Only a handful stopped to listen briefly. At the end of the 43 minutes he made $32.17.

Here is a high speed video clip of his performance:



The Washington Post reporter asks the following question as one of his conclusions:
If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that -- then what else are we missing?

*****************

How about you? Would you have stopped and listened? Is there something you may be missing out on because the pace and demands of life are so overpowering? Stop and think. Better yet, stop and listen!!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Another interesting fact: "There was no ethnic or demographic pattern to distinguish the people who stayed to watch Bell, or the ones who gave money, from that vast majority who hurried on past, unheeding. Whites, blacks and Asians, young and old, men and women, were represented in all three groups. But the behavior of one demographic remained absolutely consistent. Every single time a child walked past, he or she tried to stop and watch. And every single time, a parent scooted the kid away."

note: to read the entire Washington Post article, click HERE.

New Territory

This is the Ralph Marston piece that we used to end our last meeting...

New territory

Look in the direction of what you think you cannot do,
of what you've been reluctant to undertake.

You'll see a pathway that leads to new levels of success and achievement.
You've already done all the comfortable and familiar things.
To create new value, step out into new territory.

You've already successfully adjusted to countless new situations.
You've already been able to move forward through all kinds of challenges.
Now is the time to make use of that ability again.
Now is when you can boldly venture into new, valuable, productive, effective territory and raise yourself to an even higher level than before.

The fact that the challenges are daunting, serves to make the rewards that much greater.
You have what it takes to meet those challenges and reach those rewards.

Open yourself to the opportunities of living richly and making significant, continuing contributions to your world.

Follow the possibilities into a bright, new territory of achievement and value.

-- Ralph Marston

Saying Goodbye

This weekend we say good-bye to Broward ANAD. Come join us for our last support group meeting this Sunday, June 14th, 2009 at 7:00 PM. Thanks so much for letting us be a part of your recovery during the last 2 and a half years!

peace, hope and love,

ANAD Broward County Chapter

Accepting We Need Extra Help

So this week I had an EMG (Electromyography) done on my left arm. It is a diagnostic test to determine nerve and muscle function. It was like a small-scale-mini-torture session. Not painful for the most part, just really, really uncomfortable repeated electric shocks and needles. Ouch!!

I was putting off going to the doctor because I thought I would get better on my own.



I also purchased a brace today after putting it off for days.

I kept thinking my injury would go away by itself, so why invest the time and money in doing something about it.

It's been almost a month and I am still not better so I finally had to accept that I am going to need extra help to get better.

How about you, have you been trying to do recovery alone and it is not working? Is it time to ask someone you trust for help?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The message in this day

Here is the reading we used to end the group tonight.







The message in this day
+++++++++++++++++++

"What is today telling you? Instead of feeling that you must
fight against the events and developments of this day,
decide to carefully listen.

Imagine that there's a message in each circumstance that
comes your way. Proceed as if you're receiving valuable
information that can make a real difference in your life and
in your world.

Instead of becoming completely consumed by what's happening,
take a moment to consider why. Then go one step further and
look at ways you can make use of the new knowledge that is
coming your way.

The challenges that arrive, the joys you experience, the
disappointments, the discoveries, and the seemingly random
happenings all add up to something. Let go of the need to
instantly jump to shallow conclusions about each little
thing, and seek to know the whole picture.

Find out for yourself what happens when you make the
assumption that everything occurs for a reason, and that
those reasons are good. Take a step back from what seems to
be turmoil, observe with your heart, and you'll begin to see
order.

Choose to see the message that today is bringing. And you'll
find in it real treasure."

~Ralph Marston

Dancing in the Rain

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
it's about learning to dance in the rain."
~ Anonymous

Letting Go

source: Hazelden.org

Reflection for the Day
"In the past, and sometimes even now, I automatically have thought, "Why me?", when I'm trying to learn that my first problem is to accept my present circumstances as they are, myself as I am, and the people around me as they are. Just as I finally accepted my powerlessness over my addiction, so must I accept my powerlessness over people, places and things. Am I learning to accept life on life's terms?"

Today I Pray
"May I learn to control my urge to control, my compulsion to manage, neaten, organize and label the lives of others. May I learn to accept situations and people as they are instead of as I would like them to be. Thus, may I do away with the ongoing frustrations that a controlling person by nature, faces continually."

Looking Closely and Making Small Changes

I've purposely stayed away from my laptop during the last week. I somehow injured a nerve in my elbow and my left pinkie finger has been asleep (ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz) for the last week.

This past week, I consciously looked at different things I have been doing that might have contributed to my small but uncomfortable injury. I found out that I have horrible posture when I sit in front of the computer at work, I use my laptop a lot at home also in bad posture, I hold books with my left hand and use my left elbow for support when reading.

So I am making some changes to contribute to the recovery of my pinkie.

How about you? If you look closely at your life, what small changes do you think could help in your recovery and to live a happier/healthier life?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

If you ever feel different...

Around this time every year you'll see my obligatory American Idol posts. I am a huge American Idol fan!

My favorite Idol contestant this year is Adam Lambert. Last week, the three finalists returned to their hometowns for a visit, local radio/tv appearances and to spend some time with their family, friends and fans.

During his packed schedule in San Diego, Adam requested to visit MET2 . MET2, The Metropolitan Educational Theater Network, is a "non-profit educational organization committed to providing young people with the unique opportunity to be active participants in the dramatic process as actors, singers, and dancers." Adam was part of MET2 from the time he was 8 'til the time he was 17.

Adam has repeatedly said during Idol interviews that he was always the weird kid, that he wasn't popular in high school because he was different, a drama geek.

I love the message her shared with the 200+ children from MET2 last week. The kids got to ask him questions and he had a question for them too. Here it is:

“How many of you feel a little different because you’re creative and in the arts? Well, just let it go. Say ‘I’m gonna be okay as a creative/artistic person and there’s nothing wrong with that.’ If you ever feel different, hold your head up high."

His question really touched my heart and made me think of all the times I felt different growing up: I was taller that most girls and guys in my class, I had glasses, braces and a back brace all at the same time for a while, I'd rather read than go to parties....still today I feel different sometimes (for example, I choose a different career path and life than most of my overachieving family)...

For many years I judged those different from me and was my toughest, worst judge and critic. I have learned to respect, embrace and be compassionate towards my differences and the differences in others.

How did you feel different growing up? How do you sometimes feel different today?

Next time you feel different, remember Adam's words during his visit to MET2:

“How many of you feel a little different because you’re X, Y, Z? Well, just let it go. Say ‘I’m gonna be okay as X, Y, Z person and there’s nothing wrong with that.'
If you ever feel different, hold your head up high."

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lessons from Baby Jonah

The latest picture from by baby nephew got me thinking....what lesson can we learn from baby Jonah in this pic?

Every day, remember to take some time to do something nice for yourself. Take care of yourself, nurture yourself, be kind to yourself. You deserve it!

What is something nice you can do for yourself today?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Thought for Today

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Author Unknown

Quote for Today

"I am always amazed when I take off in an airplane, on a dark gloomy cloudy day, how bright it actually is once we get passed the clouds. I always try to remind myself during dark times in my life that the light is actually still shining. I just need to pierce the clouds and let the sunshine in. The darkness comes only because something is blocking the light."

~ Rabbi David Aaron, Author of Endless Light, Seeing G- d, The Secret Life of G-d, Inviting G-d In and Living a Joyous Life

We've Come A Long Way

This year will be three years that Nikki Kramer, Sarah Greene and I began planning the first ANAD Eating Disorder Support Group in South Florida. We started planning the group in the summer of 2006. Our first meeting was Sunday, December 10th, 2006.

Almost three years later, we have helped and inspired others to start ANAD Support Groups in their communities throughout South Florida.

Now...

If you are looking for a group in Dade County, you can contact Maria at henaome@gmail.com or contact her via phone at (786) 263-2956.

If you need a group in West Palm Beach you can contact Sarah Rainer at PalmBeachANAD@gmail.com .

If you need a group in Boca Raton, FL you can contact Dr. Henah Gupta at dr.henahgupta@psychologicalexpressions.com or (561) 283-0206.

Tonight I wanted to acknowledge and celebrate how far we've come and thank everyone that has helped make ANAD Broward a success. THANK YOU!!!

How about you? Take a moment to acknowledge, celebrate and be thankful for where you are today. It might not be exactly where you'd thought you'd be after X, Y, Z...but accepting, acknowledging, celebrating and being thankful for where we are today is an important part of getting to where we want to be.

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

Celebrating Life

'I have tried to say what happiness is, how we make it, how we lose it, and how we sometimes walk past it without recognizing it. Happiness isn't somewhere else, it's where we are. It isn't something we don't have, we do. It isn't fantasy, it's reality experienced in a certain way. Happiness is a close relative of faith.'

~ Celebrating Life, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

PS: Thanks to David S. for lending me this book. I am so looking forward to reading it!

Lessons from Baby Jonah

Sometimes in life we have to shake things up so we can look at things from a different point of view and achieve different results.










Happy belated Easter everyone!

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

Making Tough Choices

I was listening to The Today Show this morning on my way to work. Matt Lauer interviewed Suzy Welch author of 10 - 10 - 10 A Life Transforming Idea

Suzy explains a process for making big and small choices/decisions. A Process she calls 10-10-10. Here's how it works:

1) First you identify your problem/issue/question/possible options. Be as specific as possible.

2) Next comes honest data collection. Answer: "Given my question, what are the consequences of each of my options in ten minutes? in ten months? In ten years?"

3) The last step in the process is analysis. According to Suzie Welch, you need to take all the information ­you’ve compiled and compare it to your values (your beliefs, goals, dreams, and needs). Ask yourself: “Knowing what I now know about all of my options and their consequences, which decision will best help me create the life I want to live?”

Here is the Suzy Welch interview on The Today Show:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

note from Suzie Welch: "(...) to be clear, there is nothing literal about each ten in 10-10-10. The first 10 basically stands for “right now” — as in, one minute, one hour, or one week. The second 10 represents that point in the foreseeable future when the initial reaction to your decision has passed but its consequences continue to play out in ways you can reasonably predict. And the third 10 stands for a time in a future that is so far off that its particulars are entirely vague."

If you want to read the full article. Click HERE.

*******************************

There is not a perfect decision-making process. As you saw from the video, Mrs. Welch has made some not so good decisions since coming up with this method. It is extremely helpful though, to explore different methods and tools that can help us in making decisions big and small when the time comes...so we wont have to make decisions out of fear, guilt, stress or wait until we are cornered against a wall.

We should make our choices, big and small based on what is important to us, on our values, on what we want our life to look like 10 minutes from now, 10 months from now and 10 years from now.

Making mistakes in our decision making process is also ok. We are not perfect. We just need to learn the lessons from our "misses", take what responsibility is ours and move on.

Hope you can place this 10-10-10 decision making tool in your recovery tool box and that it comes in handy in 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years.

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Wizard of Oz and The Serenity Prayer

"If you think about it, the Wizard of Oz is really about the Serenity Prayer. The tin man wants a heart to be able to love the things he can't change; the lion, some courage to change the things he can; and the scarecrow, a brain with which to know the difference...."

~ Beyond Blue, A Spiritual Journey to Mental Health

****************************

How about you? Are there things in your life you can't change and need to learn to love and accept? Are there things you can change, and like the lion, you need some courage to make them happen? Do you need more wisdom to know the difference?

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lessons from Passover

David, a friend from work, shared a super powerful reading with me this morning and I wanted to share it with you all today. What recovery/life lessons can we learn from the story of Passover? Read on to find out...

**************************

The Inside Story on Passover
By Tzvi Freeman

In each one of us there is an Egypt and a Pharaoh and a Moses and Freedom in a Promised Land. And every point in time is an opportunity for another Exodus.

Egypt is a place that chains you to who you are, constraining you from growth and change. And Pharaoh is that voice inside that mocks your gambit to escape, saying, "How could you attempt being today something you were not yesterday? Aren't you good enough just as you are? Don't you know who you are?"

Moses is the liberator, the infinite force deep within, an impetuous and all-powerful drive to break out from any bondage, to always transcend, to connect with that which has no bounds.

But Freedom and the Promised Land are not static elements that lie in wait. They are your own achievements which you may create at any moment, in any thing that you do, simply by breaking free from whoever you were the day before.

Last Passover you may not have yet begun to light a candle (...)This year, defy Pharaoh and light up your world. With unbounded light.

**************************

May the story of passover be a reminder that every day is a chance for another Exodus. We can break free of people, places, and ways of thinking that hold us in bondage and live the life we were meant to live.

Thanks for sharing this message with me David!

Happy Passover!

Lily :-)

Week After Week

American Idol contestants where asked about their favorite quotes. Here are some of the ones that made me go wow!! what a simple yet great reminder!! I've heard American Idol is an extremely fast-paced, high-pressure experience. These quotes are probably small insights into the kind of thinking that keeps them going week after week....



Danny Gokey
"Unshakable faith is faith that has been shaken."









Kris Allen
We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.
~ Vince Lombardi








Matt Giraud
You are your own worst critic.






What are some of the thoughts that keep you going week after week, day after day, when things get tough....?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Be Patient

Be patient with yourself. Self growth is tender; it's holy ground. There's no greater investment.

~ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, page 61-62

Lessons from Disney Monsters

Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster they call destiny.

~ John Oliver Hobbes




This sounds like a sad quote, a rather dark quote but it is actually a super powerful, hopeful insightful quote!!!! I gotta be honest, this is something I struggle with sometimes. Even though I am not the extreme perfectionist I used to be and I have learned to accept that I am not perfect and that it is ok to make mistakes, I sometimes put all the mistakes from my past together in a big pile and think that "monster" is going to be my future.

Believing that our past mistakes define our future can seem very real but is as make-believe and silly as Disney Monsters. Truth is, they can become our future if we let them, but it is our choice.

I always say this, but sometimes forget to apply it to my own life: Our future does not have to be an extension of our past.

The mistakes we have made are in the past. All we can do is learn the lessons from them and move on.

Our mistakes don't belong in a big heap in front of us. They are NOT our destiny. They belong in the past. Every day is a blank slate. Every day, we can begin again.

Let me say this in the first person tonight since it is something I am working on:

"My mistakes do not belong in a big heap in front of me. They are NOT my destiny. They belong in the past. Every day is a blank slate. Every day, I can begin again."

Can you say these words today? It is ok if you don't believe them yet. It's a powerful and promising affirmation/lesson to learn.

Peace, hope and love,

Lily