One Day at a Time

Happy New Year

2012-01-02T22:18:00.003-05:00

"...but that's the magic of New Years...When that clock strikes midnight, we all get a fresh start...and I don't know about you, but I could really use one...and that magic moment starts in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..." ~ Robin Scherbatsky, How I Met Your Mother (s07e13)

Today

2011-11-20T08:59:00.001-05:00

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

~ Mother Theresa

Let's Make Peace With Beauty

2011-10-20T22:59:00.000-04:00

"In 2005, Dove commissioned a global study based on the hypothesis that women have a narrow definition of beauty. The global study - The Real Truth About Beauty found that only a startling 2% of women describe themselves as beautiful, and served as the foundation for the now award winning Campaign for Real Beauty."

on being human

2011-09-14T20:29:00.000-04:00

"I used to be very upset with myself for being human, and having limitations. Now, I am so glad to recognize those limitations, because it means I can catch myself from flying off the edge. " ~ Jennie Ketcham

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more beautiful...

2011-07-29T10:52:00.000-04:00

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful." ~ Barbara Bloom

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Getting Back Up

2011-07-07T11:58:00.000-04:00

"If I look down and see scars on my knees, they are only reminders that I got up again! We get knocked down, but we don't have to stay there."~ Heather Palacios

on the road...

2011-07-02T08:00:00.001-04:00

"Some of the dearest moments ever spent are those on the road I didn't want to travel." ~ Joyce Sequichie Hifler

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life begins again

2011-06-29T06:35:00.000-04:00

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees – just as things grow in fast movies – I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

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If by Rudyard Kipling

2011-06-25T23:41:00.000-04:00

Typography: IF by Rudyard Kipling from George Horne on Vimeo.

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In the end...

2011-06-20T22:44:00.002-04:00

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr. American Baptist Minister and Civil Rights Leader

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On When to Hold & When to Fold...

2011-06-11T23:10:00.000-04:00

"Today if you feel conflicted about whether you should hold on or let go, ask yourself: If you cleared away your fears and self-judgments, what choice would you make?" ~ Lori Deschene

For the complete article, click HERE

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We all need courage and strength

2011-06-05T00:58:00.002-04:00

"Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for the blessings of all of my friends and my family, and thank you for all the amazing screaming fans that are here tonight.

Dear Lord, please give me strength to be a winner for all of them and not for myself.

Dear Lord, remind me to empower not myself, but to empower those around me
because that is my gift. My gift is not self worship. My gift is the worship of others. So please help me to be strong and help me to know my own strength. Please help me to be brave Lord.

Dear God, give me courage. Do not let me give in to those feelings. Do not let me give in to my own insecurities. Allow me to walk in your light.

Allow me to live and breathe and sing and dance for all the dancers on that stage, for the band, for the music, and for You. Amen."

~ Lady Gaga, backstage at Madison Square Garden

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strong at the broken places

2011-05-28T11:28:00.000-04:00

"Life breaks us all and afterward, many are strong at the broken places" - Ernest Hemingway

changed for the better

2011-05-24T23:58:00.006-04:00

i've heard it said
that people come into our lives for a reason
bringing something we must learn
and we are led
to those who help us most to grow
if we let them
and we help them in return
well, i don't know if i believe that's true
but i know i'm who i am today because i knew you...

like a comet pulled from orbit
as it passes the sun
like a stream that meets a boulder
halfway through the wood
who can say if i've been changed for the better?
but because i knew you
i have been changed for good...

it well may be
that we will never meet again
in this lifetime
so let me say before we part so much of me
is made of what i learned from you
you'll be with me
like a handprint on my heart
and now whatever way our stories end
i know you have re-written mine
by being my friend...
like a ship blown from its mooring
by a wind off the sea
like a seed dropped by a skybird
in a distant wood
who can say if i've been changed for the better?
but because i knew you

i have been changed for good...

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Intention

2011-04-24T09:58:00.000-04:00

"Exercise for the joy of feeling good and getting better. Eat right with the intention of fueling your body with the things it needs to perform." - Tony Horton

Loser Like Me

2011-03-18T18:12:00.002-04:00

Yeah, you may think that I’m a zero
But, hey, everyone you wanna be
Probably started off like me
You may say that I’m a freakshow (I don’t care)
But, hey, give me just a little time
I bet you’re gonna change your mind

All of the dirt you’ve been throwin’ my way
It ain’t so hard to take, that’s right
‘Cause I know one day you’ll be screamin’ my name
And I’ll just look away, that’s right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the WORST you got and knock me down
Baby, I don’t care
Keep it up, AND SOON ENOUGH YOU"LL FIGURE OUT
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

Push me up against the locker
And hey, all I do is shake it off
I’ll get you back when I’m your boss
I’m not thinkin’ ’bout you haters
‘Cause hey, I could be a superstar
I’ll see you when you wash my car

All of the dirt you’ve been throwin’ my way
It ain’t so hard to take, that’s right
‘Cause I know one day you’ll be screamin’ my name
And I’ll just look away, that’s right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don’t care
Keep it up, I’m tunin’ up to fade you out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

Change

2011-03-03T23:34:00.000-05:00

"You change for two reasons: Either you learn enough that you want to, or you've been hurt enough that you have to." ~ Unknown

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How Do You Define Perfection?

2011-03-03T23:30:00.000-05:00

"Perfection to me is peace and joy; it's connection and understanding." ~ Cesar Millan

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Pretty, Pretty Please...

2011-03-03T23:16:00.000-05:00

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NO

2011-02-11T23:12:00.000-05:00

"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble." ~ Gandhi

Shaken

2011-02-11T23:07:00.000-05:00

Brennan: “I need to ask you some things.”
Booth: “You gonna ask me about God and the devil?”
Brennan: “Yes.”
Booth: “You’re going to ask me about how God could place such a burden on good people.”
Brennan: “No, I’m going to ask you how you still believe in a kind God after a case like this.”
Booth: “Is my faith shaken? Yeah, mmmhmm, it is.”
Brennan: “It is?”
Booth: “I’ll go home tonight and I’ll lie in bed; I’ll toss and I’ll turn, and I’ll beat myself up, and, uh, I’ll question everything.”
Brennan: “Will you get your faith back?”
Booth: “Always have in the past.”
Brennan: “So you have faith that you will retain your faith. Why?”
Booth: “Because, Bones, the sun will come up and tomorrow’s a new day.”
Brennan: “I know that feeling.”
Booth: “Really?”
Brennan: “Mmhmm.”
Booth: “You know what it feels like to get your faith back?”
Brennan: “When I see effects and I’m unable to discern the cause, my faith in reason and consequences is shaken.”
Booth: “And then what happens?”
Brennan: “Two plus two equals four. I put sugar in my coffee and it tastes sweet. The sun comes up because the world turns. These things are beautiful to me. There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look I see proof that for every effect, there is a corresponding cause, even if I can’t see it. I find that reassuring.”
Booth: “And life is good again.”
Brennan: “Life is very good.”
Booth: “Yes it is.”

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You're a Firework

2011-02-08T22:25:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Katy Perry Firework lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/katy-perry-firework-lyrics.html

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

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Wisdom

2010-10-25T21:37:00.000-04:00

"Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it." ~ Doug Larson

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Believe

2010-09-29T22:21:00.001-04:00

"Everything is possible for him who believes."

Mark 9:23

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Workaholics: Chained to the Desk

2010-08-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

Be Yourself

2010-07-25T19:44:00.003-04:00

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde

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We All Have Problems

2010-07-15T12:41:00.001-04:00

‎"We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different."

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~ Unknown

choose to be kind

2010-07-11T00:29:00.000-04:00

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Shadows

2010-07-05T10:53:00.000-04:00

"Most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Empty Spaces...

2010-07-05T00:17:00.001-04:00

New York Times crossword editor, Will Shortz, says, “We have a natural compulsion to fill empty spaces.” I like to think he means not just crosswords, but the empty spaces inside of us that come from making your way in a world that doesn’t always embrace "unique". I tried to fill my empty spaces with words and puzzles—and Steve. But that wasn’t the answer. Now I know, on the journey of life, just find someone as normal as you—if not a whole bunch." ~ Sandra Bullock, All About Steve (2009)

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Just as I am

2010-05-31T11:04:00.001-04:00

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change" - Carl Rogers

"Unconditional positive regard, a term coined by the humanist Carl Rogers, is blanket acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does. Rogers believes that unconditional positive regard is essential to healthy development. People who have not experienced it may come to see themselves in the negative ways that others have made them feel. By providing unconditional positive regard, humanist therapists seek to help their clients accept and take responsibility for themselves. Humanist psychologists believe that by showing the client unconditional positive regard and acceptance, the therapist is providing the best possible conditions for personal growth to the client.

David G. Myers says the following in his Psychology: Eight Edition in Modules:
"People also nurture our growth by being accepting—by offering us what Rogers called unconditional positive regard. This is an attitude of grace, an attitude that values us even knowing our failings. It is a profound relief to drop our pretenses, confess our worst feelings, and discover that we are still accepted. In a good marriage, a close family, or an intimate friendship, we are free to be spontaneous without fearing the loss of others' esteem."

Unconditional positive regard can be facilitated by keeping in mind Carl Rogers’ belief that all people have the internal resources required for personal growth. Rogers' theory encouraged other psychiatrists to suspend judgment, and to listen to a person with an attitude that the client has within himself the ability to change, without actually changing who he is."

source: Unconditional Positive Regard

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Every Minute

2010-05-28T17:38:00.009-04:00

After being in ICU last month for a subarachnoid hemorrhage, a stroke and a recently diagnosed heart condition that will require surgery, rocker Bret Michaels made a surprise appearance on this past Wednesday's American Idol Finale. After the show, he was asked by a reporter about his outlook on life.

How has his outlook on life changed since his health problems? A great reminder:

"The outlook on life... I always thought I enjoyed every day, but now I KNOW I enjoy every day. Every minute here is awesome."

Psychologists attribute his bounce-back to psychological hardiness a predisposition that allows an individual to accept the challenges and changes in life with good humor and resilience, which in turn influences behavior that prevents illness. Psychologists Salvatore Maddi and Suzanne Kobasa identified three dimensions that tend to promote this sense of hardiness and in turn physical wellness: Commitment, Control and Challenge. You can read more about psychological hardiness HERE.

To read the article: Bret Michaels, Hardy by Nature - Rockers' Speedy Recovery a Sign of his Psychological Resilience click HERE.

Just when...

2010-05-11T20:17:00.001-04:00

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
~ Proverb

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Song Quote for Today

2010-04-24T06:11:00.003-04:00

"We get so easily distracted
We forget where we set out to go
Well it's okay, it's okay
When everything is everywhere
And you don't know what to do
Don't ever let this world unbalance you
It took some time to realise
But it just occurred to me
That what we have is what we choose to see."

~ Gary Go, Heart and Soul

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Do You See What I See?

2010-04-18T22:40:00.013-04:00

I've been resisting wearing my glasses for the longest time even though I know I am continuing to hurt my vision.

This is what the world looks like to me through my right eye.

With both eyes open, I can still compensate and see more or less ok but with A LOT of straining.

This past week I had to renew my drivers license. It's been years since I had to do a vision test at the DMV. This is how my vision test went down:

DMV Employee: read the letters in line five please.

Me: A C D X Y (looking through the test thingie)

DMV Employee: read the letters on the right as well

Me: What do you mean there's letters on the right ?

after putting on my glasses -

Me: Oh, there they are! D G T U C

DMV Employee: You are getting a restricted license today (for corrective lenses)

Me: :-(

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This got me thinking. I have neglected my eyesight for so long. Even though I know better, I have been engaging in a behavior that is hurting my health. This week i realized that my bad choice is also a safety concern for others. If I don't wear my glasses when I am driving, I can get a traffic citation, I could hurt myself and/or someone else. I could eventually get my license suspended. I have no choice now.

I still have a choice whether or not to wear my glasses while I am NOT driving. That choice is still up to me. I am going to make the right choice. I am wearing my glasses from now own.

Are there any healthy choices you can make for yourself before it is too late...while they are still up to you?

Day by Day

2010-04-05T19:35:00.000-04:00

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.
~ Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

Reason to Celebrate

2010-04-05T16:35:00.003-04:00

Congrats to Jennie Ketcham, blogger, writer, painter, artist, and as she refers to herself "recovering human" for her one year anniversary in recovery.

Thanks for giving those in recovery the gift of your strong voice of hope, possibility and second chances.

"Don’t be afraid to fail, you’ve done that plenty.
Never forget that success is a process, not a race,
and there really are no finish lines in life.
Always be grateful for this moment, your life,
for the lessons you’ve learned and the places you’ve been.
Remember to tell people you love them as much as you can,
and don’t worry about tomorrow because it has yet to happen.
Please believe in yourself, because you can do it.
Please love yourself, because you are worth it.
Please remember me, because I am you."

~ Jennie Ketcham

You can read Jennie's blog by clicking HERE.

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Change...

2010-04-03T20:26:00.003-04:00

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela

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Reminders for the Week

2010-04-03T20:06:00.001-04:00

These are some of the lessons/reminders I learned and re-learned this past week:

If I want to make a change in any area of my life, I should ask myself: what am I going to do next? instead of asking "what am I going to do for the rest of my life?"...the latter can be very overwhelming and create a lot of anxiety.

I can't teach someone insight. It comes with time, experience, growth and awareness of self and others. It's been a journey and a process for me and it is for everyone.

Most people, places and things are not all good or all bad which to me equals I am not all good or all bad. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be me. I have lived this one for a while and am thankful that I practice it daily.

Who I am is not what I do for work. That's just how I make my money to live my life and be me. Many people tie their sense of identity to the work they do or how many letters come after their name. That's been me for many years...and, in my case, ever since I chose to leave medical school all those years ago, it has made me feel as Jennie Ketcham would say "less than" ...... I am not my job, that is just what I do. I am not the choices I have made up to this moment. That is just my past. My future does not have to be an extension of my past. I am a survivor, I am a smart, kind, compassionate woman. I'm insightful. I am a great friend. I am funny. I have integrity. I am loyal. I like the person I am becoming every day. It's been a long tough road, but looking back, it has been totally worth it...

Tonight I am thankful for the journey...

peace, hope and love,

Me

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Walk on the Water by Britt Nicole

2010-04-03T19:00:00.002-04:00

Walk on the Water

You look around and staring back at you
Another wave of doubt will pull you under
You wonder
What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there
Will you hear my prayer
When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

Step out even when it's storming
Step out even when you're broken
Step out even when your heart is telling you, telling you to give up
Step out even when your hope is stolen
Step out you can't see where you're going
Don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting what are you waiting for

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

Dwell on it a little

2010-03-07T22:52:00.006-05:00

When you do something you are proud of, dwell on it a little, praise yourself for it.
~ Mildred Newman

"Each one of us is very good at something. Maybe it's baseball or tennis where we display talent. Maybe we're good in math or at giving reports. A few people are talented at being good listeners or helpful friends. To recognize our own talents we may need help from others. It's always so much easier to see our faults, or the ways we don't meet our own expectations.

But the fact is, we are all skilled in many areas of our lives. To accept praise -- better yet, to quietly give it to ourselves -- is a sign of healthy growth."

source: Today's Gift by Anonymous

Quote for Today

2010-02-27T21:45:00.003-05:00

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple” ~Dr. Seuss

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It's Not Easy Being Green

2010-02-19T21:21:00.008-05:00

"Was it an accident I saw that, Fiyero wondered, looking at the manager with new eyes. Or is it just that the world unwraps itself to you, again and again, as soon as you are ready to see it anew?" ~ Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West

I've been reading Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West . It's a great read. It's made me think of The Wizard of Oz in a different light, from a different point of view.

I realize that, I had only heard one side of the story. I accepted that the ugly Wicked Witch of the West had it out for Dorothy and her friends because she was "the bad guy" or in this case "the bad girl"...

But what if I looked at it from the the Witch of the West's point of view? Did she have a name? (according to this story, yes, her name was Elphie) Where did she come from? (from a town called Rush Margins). What if Elphie was and anti-totalitarian agitator fighting against the Wizard? What if she was an animal-rights activist, a nun, a nurse? What was HER story?

Dorothy's house landed on The Wicked Witch of the East (Elphie's sister) and killed her. The Witch of the East also had a name. It was Nessie. She also had a story.

Glinda, the "good witch" gives Dorothy the red shoes from the dead Nessie without Elphie's consent. . What if the shoes had been a family heirloom? Dorothy takes the shoes and follows the yellow brick road to go see The Wizard. The Wizard tells Dorothy he will send her back to Kansas on one condition: if she kills the Wicked Witch of the West.

Elphie had several reasons to be upset.

I'd never stopped to think of Elphie's side of the story. It makes me wonder, are there people or areas in my life where I am not considering "the other side of the story"? How about you?

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United Breaks Guitars

2010-01-31T10:06:00.005-05:00

Just heard this song, saw this video and read the story that inspired it all. Aside from a good laugh, it is a great reminder to make the best of the tough times we go through...

In the spring of 2008, Dave Carroll and his band Sons of Maxwell were traveling to Nebraska for a one-week tour and Dave's Taylor guitar was witnessed being thrown by United Airlines baggage handlers in Chicago. He discovered later that the $3500 guitar was severely damaged. They didn't deny the experience occurred but for nine months the various people Dave communicated with put the responsibility for dealing with the damage on everyone other than themselves and finally said they would do nothing to compensate him for his loss. So Dave promised the last person to finally say no to compensation (Ms. Irlweg) that he would write and produce three songs about his experience with United Airlines and make videos for each to be viewed online by anyone in the world. "United: Song 1" is the first of those songs.

Quote for Today

2010-01-30T18:30:00.002-05:00

"The world breaks everyone, and afterwards, many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway

source: Jaime's Blog

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Question for Today

2010-01-28T19:59:00.005-05:00

Every day is a chance for a 'do over'. Forget yesterday, what are you going to do differently today?

~ Dove Self Esteem Fund

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Help for Haiti

2010-01-23T20:15:00.004-05:00

You can make a donation to the Red Cross for Haiti Relief HERE .

If you wish to donate to other organizations providing emergency relief
and aid to Haiti, visit CNN.COM / IMPACT YOUR WORLD
for a comprehensive list.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Friday Night Reflections

2010-01-23T11:06:00.013-05:00

"All I ask is one thing, and this is....and I am asking this particularly of young people that watch: Please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record it is my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. It's just true!" ~ Conan O'brien

I just finished watching the last episode of the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien as host.

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get." That's for sure! I have definitely used the bad choices I've made and the tough times I've been through as opportunities to grow and learn. It's the only way to move forward.

I've learned that I have to take care of myself and that it is ok to make mistakes. However, I have become somewhat cynical and don't trust others (and sometimes myself) as much as I used to. As Jennie Ketcham said the other day, it's like I used to trust people too soon, too fast. I would give 100% of my trust away almost immediately. That of course, lead to not so healthy relationships and not to healthy choices.

The problem is not in trusting people and the answer is not in putting walls up to protect myself. It's not all or nothing. If I trust too much, I put myself at risk, but if I don't trust at all, and protect myself from everyone and everything, I might not get hurt but at too high of a price. I'm safe inside the walls I put up but don't let anyone truly in. True, there are some people that don't deserve to be let into my world, but I can spot red flags pretty accurately these days...

I have to learn to trust in all the work I've done. I am a different person now, I am a healthier person now. I know what healthy boundaries are (God, do I practice them daily!!!). I am comfortable asserting myself. I say yes when I want to say yes, and no when I want to say no.

As I write this, I am curious as to what closer relationships would be like with me being the new stronger, healthier me...definitely worth a shot...!

GO TEAM COCO!!!! Thanks for the thoughtful words Conan!!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Being Honest with Ourselves

2010-01-17T22:06:00.003-05:00

I have one request: may I never use my reason against truth.
--Elie Wiesel

"Honesty with ourselves is a great asset in every situation we confront. The skill to look reality square in the face and call it what it is takes us a good distance toward coping with it. However, many of us also have the skill to spin or rationalize our actions so that we don't have to face something unpleasant. That skill provides us with excuses and evasions but it is the greatest betrayal of our selves. When we use our brain to cleverly cover the truth of our actions, we often believe our own lies, and then we're incapable of rectifying them.

Just as dishonesty builds and grows on itself, so does honesty. We cannot one day decide to be honest and change in a flash because we don't see all of our self-deceit yet. But we can make the decision to be as honest as we know how. Then we will soon be surprised by how much is revealed to us as the fog of our self-deceit lifts and our honesty builds upon itself."

Today I will strive to see reality as it is and not shape it to suit my ego's desires.

source: Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

Quote for Today

2010-01-01T20:55:00.004-05:00

"When someone treats you in a way you don't appreciate, you have a right to respond appropriately. Then, take a moment to consider if they acted as a mirror for you... and decide to respond appropriately at the inner level. Whatever others "do" to us, we tend to do in even greater measure to ourselves."

~ Joyce Shafer from the article: Do We Teach Others How to Treat Us

New Year ANTI-Resolutions

2009-12-31T13:23:00.004-05:00

Have you ever heard of New Year ANTI-Resolutions? I hadn't until last year. In a world where we are constantly being driven (by ourselves and others) to be a better version of ourselves, to improve, to change, to transform, we often forget all the positive qualities, behaviors we already posses.

What are five things (positive/healthy) about yourself that you already posses and don't want to change/give up? What are your five ANTI-Resolutions?

For me...I would not like to change/give up:
1) My love for reading and writing
2) Believing in God's promises
3) Constantly striving to live a balanced life
4) Being a good listener and friend
5) Being as assertive as I have learned to be

These are my ANTI-Resolutions. What are yours?**

peace, hope and love,

Lily

**note: if you can't think of any, ask someone you trust/love. What are 5 things they would not like you to change about you?

Two Quotes for Today

2009-12-12T21:01:00.004-05:00

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then” ~ Lewis Carroll

"It's not can you... it's WILL you" ~Tony Robbins

Change A Mind About Mental Illness

2009-11-25T21:50:00.005-05:00

"1 in 6 adults and almost 1 in 10 children suffer from a diagnosable mental illness. Yet, for many, the stigma associated with the illness, can be as great a challenge as the disease itself."

"BringChange2Mind.org combats the stigma surrounding mental illness. Spearheaded by actress Glenn Close, the organization provides a global forum for people to share their stories and shed light on the unfair shame that's inflicted upon those living with mental illness. Watch videos, get news, take part in events and more.

BringChange2Mind.org is a hub for all resources related to eliminating mental illness stigma. Join the discussion or share your story today: http://bringchange2mind.org/ "

source: http://bringchange2mind.org/

Basic Rights in Relationships

2009-11-15T10:20:00.009-05:00

In the past, I have been "the abused" in emotionally/verbally abusive relationships. I had no idea what my rights were as a person. I also did not know what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like and used to think I deserved no better that to be treated badly. Learning what my rights and responsibilities are as an individual and with my family, friends, and those I do life with, has been a very important part of my recovery.

It is important to remember that our rights are also our responsibilities in relationships. and that we have the right to express ourselves as long as we are not abusive towards others.

The Following is a list of Basic Rights in Relationships from The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans and other soures.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Basic Rights in Relationships

The right to be treated with respect.

The right to assert yourself.

The right to good will from the other.

The right to emotional support.

The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.

The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.

The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.

The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.

The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.

The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern you.

The right to live free from accusation and blame.

The right to live free from criticism, judgment, put-downs or ridicule.

The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.

The right to encouragement.

The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.

The right to be called by no name that devalues you.

The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I have internalized these rights and refer back to them when something doesn't feel right in a relationship, but I remember the time when these rights were foreign to me and I thought I deserved nothing better than abuse.

If you are in a situation of abuse, ask for help. YOU MATTER and YOU HAVE THE RIGHT to live free of emotional, verbal and physical abuse***.

peace, hope and love,

Lily
***note: both women and men can be victims of abuse in both personal and professional settings.

If you are ready to change your situation...

2009-11-07T08:24:00.003-05:00

"If you are ready to change your situation, then it's time to change what you say about your situation. If you want a different harvest in your life, you have to change the seeds you are sowing. It's time to speak life over your future. Our attitude should be, "This may be the way it's been in the past, but this is not the way it's staying. I'm coming up higher. I may feel weak, but my declaration is that I am strong." ~ Joel Osteen

Life, Hope, Choices and Second Chances

2009-10-27T22:13:00.006-04:00

The following is one of the most powerful quotes I have heard in a long time. Abby Rike is a theater/speech teacher and debate coach from Mabank, TX. In 2006, she lost her husband, 5½ year-old daughter and 2½ week-old son in a fatal car crash.

After her tragedy, Abby has moved from choosing to survive, then to exist and finally to live and love again...Here is what Abby has to say today about life, hope, choices and second chances...

"The fact is that life is hard and sometimes it is not fair. But guys, I am happy to tell you that, even in your darkest hour, there is always hope and I am living proof of that today.

Because I am going to tell you, just like I would tell the man that killed my family had he lived and were standing here today: Today is your second chance...to choose differently. You can choose differently!! You can choose differently to overcome your circumstances, to overcome your hurts and to become everything you always wanted to be."

~ Abby Rike

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Most of us will never know pain and tragedy like Abby has gone through, but we can be inspired and moved to survive, exist and live again!

THANK YOU ABBY FOR YOUR AMAZING EXAMPLE!!! You rock!!!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Reminder for Today

2009-10-17T06:59:00.010-04:00

I receive a daily email from Hazelden.org called Today's Gift. Here is a recent one that I really liked.

"In my new life, I sometimes feel a lack of excitement. I might miss the old adrenaline rush I used to get during a crisis. Even though I didn't like being in a crisis, the feeling I had in my body became familiar to me.

I can find new activities or interests that feel exhilarating but that aren't harmful to me or others. It could be the excitement of enjoying a carnival ride, winning a race, playing a party game with friends, learning a new hobby or craft, or watching a suspenseful movie. These are just some things I might do to give my life some excitement without creating a crisis.

When I feel like something is missing, I will try to pinpoint what it is and think about filling the emptiness with something that's good for me."

source: Time to Break Free by Judith R. Smith

*******************

Reminder for Today: When I am willing to leave behind unhealthy behaviors and activities, I have to incorporate healthy behaviors and activities to take their place.

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

Love Me by JJ Heller

2009-09-30T22:36:00.004-04:00

I just heard music by JJ Heller on So You Think You Can Dance and loved her music and lyrics. Here is one of her songs, called Love Me...

Lyrics to Love Me :
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew

The Body Project - Coming to Weston, FL

2009-09-28T17:28:00.007-04:00

Don't miss this great 5 session group coming to Weston, FL in October! Space is limited!

The Body Project
by Nicolle Arbelaez Lopez, Psy.D. and Carmen C. Contarini, Psy.D.

Are you dissatisfied with your body image? Do you struggle with societal pressures about how your body “should” look?

The Body Project is a 5 session (1 hour ) weekly group focused on aiding young women ages 18-25 years old.

This group is based on empirically supported studies demonstrating that women who participate in discussion and weekly assignments, challenging the thin ideal and societal body image pressures, improve body satisfaction.

Starting: October 22 - November 19, 2009
Thursday Evenings 6:30- 7:30pm

Location: 2237 N. Commerce Parkway, Suite 3 ~ Weston, Florida 33326

Total Price: $299 or early registration discount of $249 by October 9, 2009. ~ Group limited to 8 women.

For more information, please contact:
Nicolle Arbelaez Lopez, Psy.D.
(954) 804-5144

Carmen C. Contarini, Psy.D.
(305) 308-3577

Peace of Mind

2009-09-26T12:37:00.003-04:00

Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can.

Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference.

source: Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

More Beautiful You

2009-09-05T11:27:00.005-04:00

Thanks so much to my sister in law Flora for sharing this song with me...!

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

[Chorus]

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

[chorus]

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

[chorus]

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

2009-08-27T10:06:00.003-04:00

Make it so today is not like yesterday, and tomorrow will be different for ever ~ Tony Robbins

Saying No Part II - Lesson from Baby Jonah

2009-08-27T08:13:00.006-04:00

I am very often reminded of life's simple yet powerful lessons when I see my baby nephew Jonah.
The latest lesson from baby Jonah: Remember it is ok to say No.

Here is Jonah practicing his Nos. We seem to forget to say No when we grow out of our terrible twos (or in Jonah's case) the "cute-as-heck" twos...

source: The Power of Saying No

Most of us said, "No!" quite well when we were two. After all, it's the two-year-old's job to say "No." The authority figures in our lives at the time, our parents, expect us to say "No." And it is because of "No" that the year is known as the Terrible Two's.

Many of us grow up to be people pleasers. The word "No" drops out of our vocabulary, and we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep the other person happy. Saying "No" to the authority figures is not expected. And underneath it all we believe that saying "No" can cost us a lot in our adult life.

=======================
The unassertive "No"
=======================
is accompanied by weak excuses and rationalizations. If you lack confidence when you say "No" you may think that you need to support your "No" with lots of reasons to convince the other person that you mean it.

You might even make up an excuse to support your "No." This can backfire if the lie is exposed and again, you will sound ineffective because you need to have an excuse to support your stand.

=======================
The aggressive "No"
=======================
is done with contempt. "Are you kidding? Me, get your mail while you're out of town?"

Sometimes the aggressive "No" includes an attack on the person making the request. "You must be crazy. I couldn't take on a project that unimportant."

=======================
The assertive "No"
=======================
is simple and direct. "No, I won't be able to help with that." If you would like to offer an explanation, make it short and simple. "No, I won't be able to help with that. I've already made a commitment for Friday afternoon."

=======================
Strategies to make the assertive "No" easier
=======================
1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to *ASK FOR TIME TO THINK IT OVER*. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you.

2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the "No." Make sure that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person's eyes as you say, "No." Shake your head "No," as you say, "No."

3. Remember that "No," is an honorable response. If you decide that "No," is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and honest for you to say, "No."

4. If you say, "Yes," when you want to say, "No," you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, "No" when you need to.

5. If you are saying, "No," to someone whom you would help under different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes to the doctor, you might say, "No, Susie, I can't keep Billie for you. I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but I have already made lunch plans and I won't be able to help you.

6. Start your sentence with the word, "No." It's easier to keep the commitment to say, "No," if it's the first word out of your mouth.

=======================
Practicing for the World Series
=======================
Let's look at some daily ways you can practice saying, "No," so that it comes more naturally to you. Paulette Dale in her book, Did You Say Something, Susan? suggests some simple ways to practice saying, "No." Here are some of her suggestions:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Say "No,"
to the clerk who wants to write your phone number down
when you return something to the store;
to the telemarketer who disturbs your dinner;
to the perfume demonstrator at the department store;
to your friend's pets when they jump on you;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Make it a project to say, "No," to something every day.

When you do, notice it and give yourself credit for practicing saying such an important two letter word.

source: The Power of Saying No

Saying No

2009-08-18T19:59:00.005-04:00

"For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No.

Go ahead, say it aloud: No.

No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. We’re afraid people won’t like us, or we feel guilty. We may believe that a “good” employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.

The problem is, if we don’t learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please. We may even punish others out of resentment.

When do we say no? When no is what we really mean.

When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.

If we’re scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can take a break, rehearse the word, and go back and say no. We don’t have to offer long explanations for our decisions.

When we can say no, we can say yes to the good. Our no’s and our yes’s begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: “No” isn’t really that hard to say."

Challenge for Today: Today, I will say no if that is what I mean.

source: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

unafraid of endings

2009-08-18T19:46:00.004-04:00

I can be unafraid of endings because I know they are only the first half of beginnings.

~ Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Letting Go of What Does Not Work

2009-08-07T10:28:00.004-04:00

"All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs..what belief have you held on to that has out lived its usefulness in your life?"

~ Tony Robbins

other people's opinion

2009-07-22T23:33:00.003-04:00

"I am not other people's opinion of me"....such an important, liberating lesson to learn....

This Exact Moment

2009-07-15T21:31:00.003-04:00

"Take a minute to look around you and find five things about this exact moment for which you are grateful."

~ quote I found on twitter

A Perfect Depiction of Addiction

2009-07-09T23:01:00.015-04:00

Last night, there was a Mia Michaels choreography on So You Think You Can Dance about Addiction. Kupono (the guy) represented the addiction and Kayla (the girl) was the addict. What a powerful dance!!! Check it out!!!!!

In Mia Michaels' words:

This piece today is about addiction. I think everybody at one point will have or has had an experience with wanting something that is not good for you...

The Man In The Mirror

2009-07-09T22:53:00.006-04:00

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

~ Michael Jackson (1958 - 2009)

Do you stop and listen?

2009-06-25T12:06:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I read a very interesting article. In January 2007, The Washington Post arranged a performance by world-renowned violinist Joshua Bell in a Washington metro station as an experiment in context, perception and priorities.

Joshua Bell, dressed in a t-shirt, jeans and baseball cap performed six classical pieces on his $3.5 million dollar violin (handcrafted in 1713 by Antonio Stradivari) for 43 minutes. Over 1,000 people walked past him. Only a handful stopped to listen briefly. At the end of the 43 minutes he made $32.17.

Here is a high speed video clip of his performance:

The Washington Post reporter asks the following question as one of his conclusions:
If we can't take the time out of our lives to stay a moment and listen to one of the best musicians on Earth play some of the best music ever written; if the surge of modern life so overpowers us that we are deaf and blind to something like that -- then what else are we missing?

*****************

How about you? Would you have stopped and listened? Is there something you may be missing out on because the pace and demands of life are so overpowering? Stop and think. Better yet, stop and listen!!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Another interesting fact: "There was no ethnic or demographic pattern to distinguish the people who stayed to watch Bell, or the ones who gave money, from that vast majority who hurried on past, unheeding. Whites, blacks and Asians, young and old, men and women, were represented in all three groups. But the behavior of one demographic remained absolutely consistent. Every single time a child walked past, he or she tried to stop and watch. And every single time, a parent scooted the kid away."

note: to read the entire Washington Post article, click HERE.

New Territory

2009-06-17T20:42:00.004-04:00

This is the Ralph Marston piece that we used to end our last meeting...

New territory

Look in the direction of what you think you cannot do,
of what you've been reluctant to undertake.

You'll see a pathway that leads to new levels of success and achievement.
You've already done all the comfortable and familiar things.
To create new value, step out into new territory.

You've already successfully adjusted to countless new situations.
You've already been able to move forward through all kinds of challenges.
Now is the time to make use of that ability again.
Now is when you can boldly venture into new, valuable, productive, effective territory and raise yourself to an even higher level than before.

The fact that the challenges are daunting, serves to make the rewards that much greater.
You have what it takes to meet those challenges and reach those rewards.

Open yourself to the opportunities of living richly and making significant, continuing contributions to your world.

Follow the possibilities into a bright, new territory of achievement and value.

-- Ralph Marston

Saying Goodbye

2009-06-12T22:04:00.004-04:00

This weekend we say good-bye to Broward ANAD. Come join us for our last support group meeting this Sunday, June 14th, 2009 at 7:00 PM. Thanks so much for letting us be a part of your recovery during the last 2 and a half years!

peace, hope and love,

ANAD Broward County Chapter

Accepting We Need Extra Help

2009-06-06T19:28:00.012-04:00

So this week I had an EMG (Electromyography) done on my left arm. It is a diagnostic test to determine nerve and muscle function. It was like a small-scale-mini-torture session. Not painful for the most part, just really, really uncomfortable repeated electric shocks and needles. Ouch!!

I was putting off going to the doctor because I thought I would get better on my own.

I also purchased a brace today after putting it off for days.

I kept thinking my injury would go away by itself, so why invest the time and money in doing something about it.

It's been almost a month and I am still not better so I finally had to accept that I am going to need extra help to get better.

How about you, have you been trying to do recovery alone and it is not working? Is it time to ask someone you trust for help?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

The message in this day

2009-05-31T20:00:00.000-04:00

Here is the reading we used to end the group tonight.

The message in this day
+++++++++++++++++++

"What is today telling you? Instead of feeling that you must
fight against the events and developments of this day,
decide to carefully listen.

Imagine that there's a message in each circumstance that
comes your way. Proceed as if you're receiving valuable
information that can make a real difference in your life and
in your world.

Instead of becoming completely consumed by what's happening,
take a moment to consider why. Then go one step further and
look at ways you can make use of the new knowledge that is
coming your way.

The challenges that arrive, the joys you experience, the
disappointments, the discoveries, and the seemingly random
happenings all add up to something. Let go of the need to
instantly jump to shallow conclusions about each little
thing, and seek to know the whole picture.

Find out for yourself what happens when you make the
assumption that everything occurs for a reason, and that
those reasons are good. Take a step back from what seems to
be turmoil, observe with your heart, and you'll begin to see
order.

Choose to see the message that today is bringing. And you'll
find in it real treasure."

~Ralph Marston

Dancing in the Rain

2009-05-29T22:00:00.004-04:00

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
it's about learning to dance in the rain."
~ Anonymous

Letting Go

2009-05-27T23:07:00.004-04:00

source: Hazelden.org

Reflection for the Day
"In the past, and sometimes even now, I automatically have thought, "Why me?", when I'm trying to learn that my first problem is to accept my present circumstances as they are, myself as I am, and the people around me as they are. Just as I finally accepted my powerlessness over my addiction, so must I accept my powerlessness over people, places and things. Am I learning to accept life on life's terms?"

Today I Pray
"May I learn to control my urge to control, my compulsion to manage, neaten, organize and label the lives of others. May I learn to accept situations and people as they are instead of as I would like them to be. Thus, may I do away with the ongoing frustrations that a controlling person by nature, faces continually."

Looking Closely and Making Small Changes

2009-05-23T09:04:00.003-04:00

I've purposely stayed away from my laptop during the last week. I somehow injured a nerve in my elbow and my left pinkie finger has been asleep (ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz) for the last week.

This past week, I consciously looked at different things I have been doing that might have contributed to my small but uncomfortable injury. I found out that I have horrible posture when I sit in front of the computer at work, I use my laptop a lot at home also in bad posture, I hold books with my left hand and use my left elbow for support when reading.

So I am making some changes to contribute to the recovery of my pinkie.

How about you? If you look closely at your life, what small changes do you think could help in your recovery and to live a happier/healthier life?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

If you ever feel different...

2009-05-15T20:26:00.007-04:00

Around this time every year you'll see my obligatory American Idol posts. I am a huge American Idol fan!

My favorite Idol contestant this year is Adam Lambert. Last week, the three finalists returned to their hometowns for a visit, local radio/tv appearances and to spend some time with their family, friends and fans.

During his packed schedule in San Diego, Adam requested to visit MET2 . MET2, The Metropolitan Educational Theater Network, is a "non-profit educational organization committed to providing young people with the unique opportunity to be active participants in the dramatic process as actors, singers, and dancers." Adam was part of MET2 from the time he was 8 'til the time he was 17.

Adam has repeatedly said during Idol interviews that he was always the weird kid, that he wasn't popular in high school because he was different, a drama geek.

I love the message her shared with the 200+ children from MET2 last week. The kids got to ask him questions and he had a question for them too. Here it is:

“How many of you feel a little different because you’re creative and in the arts? Well, just let it go. Say ‘I’m gonna be okay as a creative/artistic person and there’s nothing wrong with that.’ If you ever feel different, hold your head up high."

His question really touched my heart and made me think of all the times I felt different growing up: I was taller that most girls and guys in my class, I had glasses, braces and a back brace all at the same time for a while, I'd rather read than go to parties....still today I feel different sometimes (for example, I choose a different career path and life than most of my overachieving family)...

For many years I judged those different from me and was my toughest, worst judge and critic. I have learned to respect, embrace and be compassionate towards my differences and the differences in others.

How did you feel different growing up? How do you sometimes feel different today?

Next time you feel different, remember Adam's words during his visit to MET2:

“How many of you feel a little different because you’re X, Y, Z? Well, just let it go. Say ‘I’m gonna be okay as X, Y, Z person and there’s nothing wrong with that.'
If you ever feel different, hold your head up high."

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lessons from Baby Jonah

2009-05-13T19:52:00.009-04:00

The latest picture from by baby nephew got me thinking....what lesson can we learn from baby Jonah in this pic?

Every day, remember to take some time to do something nice for yourself. Take care of yourself, nurture yourself, be kind to yourself. You deserve it!

What is something nice you can do for yourself today?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Thought for Today

2009-05-09T08:22:00.002-04:00

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Author Unknown

Quote for Today

2009-05-01T12:24:00.003-04:00

"I am always amazed when I take off in an airplane, on a dark gloomy cloudy day, how bright it actually is once we get passed the clouds. I always try to remind myself during dark times in my life that the light is actually still shining. I just need to pierce the clouds and let the sunshine in. The darkness comes only because something is blocking the light."

~ Rabbi David Aaron, Author of Endless Light, Seeing G- d, The Secret Life of G-d, Inviting G-d In and Living a Joyous Life

We've Come A Long Way

2009-04-23T21:52:00.006-04:00

This year will be three years that Nikki Kramer, Sarah Greene and I began planning the first ANAD Eating Disorder Support Group in South Florida. We started planning the group in the summer of 2006. Our first meeting was Sunday, December 10th, 2006.

Almost three years later, we have helped and inspired others to start ANAD Support Groups in their communities throughout South Florida.

Now...

If you are looking for a group in Dade County, you can contact Maria at henaome@gmail.com or contact her via phone at (786) 263-2956.

If you need a group in West Palm Beach you can contact Sarah Rainer at PalmBeachANAD@gmail.com .

If you need a group in Boca Raton, FL you can contact Dr. Henah Gupta at dr.henahgupta@psychologicalexpressions.com or (561) 283-0206.

Tonight I wanted to acknowledge and celebrate how far we've come and thank everyone that has helped make ANAD Broward a success. THANK YOU!!!

How about you? Take a moment to acknowledge, celebrate and be thankful for where you are today. It might not be exactly where you'd thought you'd be after X, Y, Z...but accepting, acknowledging, celebrating and being thankful for where we are today is an important part of getting to where we want to be.

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

Celebrating Life

2009-04-17T19:18:00.003-04:00

'I have tried to say what happiness is, how we make it, how we lose it, and how we sometimes walk past it without recognizing it. Happiness isn't somewhere else, it's where we are. It isn't something we don't have, we do. It isn't fantasy, it's reality experienced in a certain way. Happiness is a close relative of faith.'

~ Celebrating Life, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

PS: Thanks to David S. for lending me this book. I am so looking forward to reading it!

Lessons from Baby Jonah

2009-04-15T19:22:00.002-04:00

Sometimes in life we have to shake things up so we can look at things from a different point of view and achieve different results.

Happy belated Easter everyone!

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

Making Tough Choices

2009-04-14T19:26:00.011-04:00

I was listening to The Today Show this morning on my way to work. Matt Lauer interviewed Suzy Welch author of 10 - 10 - 10 A Life Transforming Idea

Suzy explains a process for making big and small choices/decisions. A Process she calls 10-10-10. Here's how it works:

1) First you identify your problem/issue/question/possible options. Be as specific as possible.

2) Next comes honest data collection. Answer: "Given my question, what are the consequences of each of my options in ten minutes? in ten months? In ten years?"

3) The last step in the process is analysis. According to Suzie Welch, you need to take all the information you’ve compiled and compare it to your values (your beliefs, goals, dreams, and needs). Ask yourself: “Knowing what I now know about all of my options and their consequences, which decision will best help me create the life I want to live?”

Here is the Suzy Welch interview on The Today Show:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

note from Suzie Welch: "(...) to be clear, there is nothing literal about each ten in 10-10-10. The first 10 basically stands for “right now” — as in, one minute, one hour, or one week. The second 10 represents that point in the foreseeable future when the initial reaction to your decision has passed but its consequences continue to play out in ways you can reasonably predict. And the third 10 stands for a time in a future that is so far off that its particulars are entirely vague."

If you want to read the full article. Click HERE.

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There is not a perfect decision-making process. As you saw from the video, Mrs. Welch has made some not so good decisions since coming up with this method. It is extremely helpful though, to explore different methods and tools that can help us in making decisions big and small when the time comes...so we wont have to make decisions out of fear, guilt, stress or wait until we are cornered against a wall.

We should make our choices, big and small based on what is important to us, on our values, on what we want our life to look like 10 minutes from now, 10 months from now and 10 years from now.

Making mistakes in our decision making process is also ok. We are not perfect. We just need to learn the lessons from our "misses", take what responsibility is ours and move on.

Hope you can place this 10-10-10 decision making tool in your recovery tool box and that it comes in handy in 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years.

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Wizard of Oz and The Serenity Prayer

2009-04-09T18:51:00.009-04:00

"If you think about it, the Wizard of Oz is really about the Serenity Prayer. The tin man wants a heart to be able to love the things he can't change; the lion, some courage to change the things he can; and the scarecrow, a brain with which to know the difference...."

~ Beyond Blue, A Spiritual Journey to Mental Health

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How about you? Are there things in your life you can't change and need to learn to love and accept? Are there things you can change, and like the lion, you need some courage to make them happen? Do you need more wisdom to know the difference?

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

Lessons from Passover

2009-04-08T12:44:00.009-04:00

David, a friend from work, shared a super powerful reading with me this morning and I wanted to share it with you all today. What recovery/life lessons can we learn from the story of Passover? Read on to find out...

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The Inside Story on Passover
By Tzvi Freeman

In each one of us there is an Egypt and a Pharaoh and a Moses and Freedom in a Promised Land. And every point in time is an opportunity for another Exodus.

Egypt is a place that chains you to who you are, constraining you from growth and change. And Pharaoh is that voice inside that mocks your gambit to escape, saying, "How could you attempt being today something you were not yesterday? Aren't you good enough just as you are? Don't you know who you are?"

Moses is the liberator, the infinite force deep within, an impetuous and all-powerful drive to break out from any bondage, to always transcend, to connect with that which has no bounds.

But Freedom and the Promised Land are not static elements that lie in wait. They are your own achievements which you may create at any moment, in any thing that you do, simply by breaking free from whoever you were the day before.

Last Passover you may not have yet begun to light a candle (...)This year, defy Pharaoh and light up your world. With unbounded light.

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May the story of passover be a reminder that every day is a chance for another Exodus. We can break free of people, places, and ways of thinking that hold us in bondage and live the life we were meant to live.

Thanks for sharing this message with me David!

Happy Passover!

Lily :-)

Week After Week

2009-04-06T21:56:00.010-04:00

American Idol contestants where asked about their favorite quotes. Here are some of the ones that made me go wow!! what a simple yet great reminder!! I've heard American Idol is an extremely fast-paced, high-pressure experience. These quotes are probably small insights into the kind of thinking that keeps them going week after week....

Danny Gokey
"Unshakable faith is faith that has been shaken."

Kris Allen
We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.
~ Vince Lombardi

Matt Giraud
You are your own worst critic.

What are some of the thoughts that keep you going week after week, day after day, when things get tough....?

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Be Patient

2009-04-04T21:04:00.002-04:00

Be patient with yourself. Self growth is tender; it's holy ground. There's no greater investment.

~ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, page 61-62

Lessons from Disney Monsters

2009-04-03T21:26:00.009-04:00

Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster they call destiny.

~ John Oliver Hobbes

This sounds like a sad quote, a rather dark quote but it is actually a super powerful, hopeful insightful quote!!!! I gotta be honest, this is something I struggle with sometimes. Even though I am not the extreme perfectionist I used to be and I have learned to accept that I am not perfect and that it is ok to make mistakes, I sometimes put all the mistakes from my past together in a big pile and think that "monster" is going to be my future.

Believing that our past mistakes define our future can seem very real but is as make-believe and silly as Disney Monsters. Truth is, they can become our future if we let them, but it is our choice.

I always say this, but sometimes forget to apply it to my own life: Our future does not have to be an extension of our past.

The mistakes we have made are in the past. All we can do is learn the lessons from them and move on.

Our mistakes don't belong in a big heap in front of us. They are NOT our destiny. They belong in the past. Every day is a blank slate. Every day, we can begin again.

Let me say this in the first person tonight since it is something I am working on:

"My mistakes do not belong in a big heap in front of me. They are NOT my destiny. They belong in the past. Every day is a blank slate. Every day, I can begin again."

Can you say these words today? It is ok if you don't believe them yet. It's a powerful and promising affirmation/lesson to learn.

Peace, hope and love,

Lily

The Only Reason

2009-04-02T09:06:00.007-04:00

So I am a big American Idol fan. Here goes my second American Idol post of the season. My favorites this season are Adam, Danny and Kris. There is another contestant that, though not in the competition anymore, is sure to do great things.

Michael Sarver was voted off last week. Driving to work several days ago, I heard an interview of him on The Today Show. As soon as I heard his response, I knew I wanted to share it with you all.

Here it is:

Anne Curry: You're moving into a new world.... Where do you think it is going to take you?

Michael: There's no limitations. I believe the only reason that I can't succeed at "this thing" is if I quit, and since I am not a quitter, I should be ok.

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So what is "this thing" for you? Is it getting through your meal plan today? Is it taking sobriety maybe one hour at a time for now? Is it change coming your way whether you were expecting it or not?

Next time you are going through a rough time, think of Michael's words. Thanks for your words of courage Michael. Best wishes in your career and in everything you do!!!

peace, hope and love,

Lily

From this point on

2009-03-29T20:00:00.000-04:00

This is the closing we used to end the group tonight...

From this point on

It's easy to think of yourself as the person you have been.
Yet it is far more powerful to see yourself as the person
you can become.

The mistakes and disappointments of the past may seem to be
a major presence in your life. At this very moment, however,
you can choose to leave them completely behind.

From this point on, your life is up to you. In each and
every moment that is to come, you are free to choose your
thoughts, your feelings, your actions and your attitude.

Consider the possibilities. Think about what could happen if
the limitations you thought were there, were not really
there at all.

Reach deep within yourself and connect your thoughts to the
things that truly matter. Then imagine expressing those
treasured values with the way you live each moment.

Beginning now, you can live with the richness and profound
purpose that you know is right for you. From this point on,
your life is yours to choose.

source: The Daily Motivator, Ralph Marston

The Fearless Quote

2009-03-28T08:01:00.006-04:00

YODA: Careful you must be when sensing the future, Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.

ANAKIN: I won’t let my visions come true, Master Yoda. (...) What must I do, Master?

YODA: Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.

~ Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

I really like the wisdom Yoda shares with Anakin. Constantly worrying about what we might lose and what might go wrong in the future can paralyze us and keep us from moving forward. We only have today. The future is not yet here. With faith and perseverance, we can plan for the future and welcome it one day at a time. It does no good to fear it.

Loss and change are an inevitable part of life. We can't prevent loss and change, but we can learn healthy ways of coping, walking through, living, persevering, and growing thanks to the lessons learned along the way.

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Recession Reflections Part I

2009-03-25T22:27:00.009-04:00

I have a very long commute to work every day. I listen to the radio on my way there and back. In the afternoon, I usually catch The Ellen Degeneres Show.

Yesterday, Ellen interviewed MC Hammer and I absolutely LOVED his response to her question of appreciating life more when you have lost "everything"....

Here is the beginning of the interview, and also the video (she asks the question 2 minutes and 10 seconds into the interview). He also sends a message to those hurting in this current economic crisis (at minute 3:58 of interview)

...I think his words apply to getting through tough times and, in life, we all go through them...

Ellen: So life is good for you now, you would say?

MC Hammer: I would say it's excellent, yes, pretty good...

Ellen: ...and do you appreciate now the fall? I mean, I had the same situation happen to me, I don't know about the same degree but I think you can really appreciate life more when you have.....when you lose everything....

Check out Hammer Time's response in the video below.....

Thanks "Hammer Time" for those words of wisdom and thank you Ellen for the thoughtful compassionate question that brought about this response....It came at a perfect time for me and it is giving me strength as I see the effects of recession so close to me and to many....

Next time you are faced with the question, possibility or thought that you have lost or may lose everything, think of MC's words....

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Reflection for Today

2009-03-22T08:52:00.011-04:00

I subscribe to Today's Gift from Hazelden. This is one of my recent favorite daily reflections and I wanted to share t with you..

Today I will be grateful for where I am now.

My life might not be perfect, and I might not have achieved the goals I thought I would have by now -- I might not be living the kind of life I thought I would be or want to be, but I'm grateful for this day, right now, and the fact that I've made a commitment to myself to live a life in which I'm treated with respect and dignity.

I will use this day as a gift, one that I've given myself because I deserve it. I will use this day to be glad for all I've accomplished.

I'm deserving, worthy, and valuable.

I'm a lovable person, and today I thank the person who helped me understand this.

source: Time to Fly Free by Judith R. Smith

So Small

2009-03-18T23:49:00.007-04:00

Around this time of year, you will usually see my obligatory American Idol posts. Here is my first American Idol post of 2009.

I have a confession to make: I like country music :-) Well, not the really, really country stuff....but I do like country music (for example: Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts). I love songs that tell a story and with inspiring lyrics. Last night, watching American Idol, I stopped and listened to the lyrics of the Carrie Underwood song "So Small" and I immediately thought of posting it on the blog.

The official video is actually awesome. Make sure to watch it by clicking HERE. It is not available for blog posting.

Here is another video of the song and the lyrics.

Tonight, I stopped and listened to a song that I had listened to many times but never paid close attention to the message/lesson in its words. Is there a message in your life that you might need to pay closer attention to?

Carrie Underwood So Small Lyrics:
Yeah, Yeah

[Verse 1]
What you got if you ain't got love
the kind that you just want to give away
It's okay to open up
go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
you want to shut the world out
and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

[Chorus]
'Cause sometimes that mountain
you've been climbing is just a
grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all
that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
seem so small

[Verse 2]
It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river thats so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking
about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count 'cause
you can't get it back

[Chorus]
Sometimes that mountain you've
been climbing is just a grain
of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all
that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

Eating Disorder Awareness Week at NSU

2009-03-12T22:57:00.007-04:00

This past Tuesday, Nicole Kramer LCSW, Carmen Contarini PsyD and I presented at Nova Southeastern University for Wellness Week 2009. Thanks to the students at Nova for inviting us to present at such an important event!

For information on the event that took place at Nova, you can click HERE.

Lesson from Baby Jonah

2009-03-09T19:58:00.004-04:00

Every now and then I post about my baby nephew Jonah. Here is a video of him practicing sounds and one of his first words. These are Jonah's first steps in learning to communicate. He practices every day. Jonah's first sounds and words got me thinking.....

In recovery, we also learn to "use our words" again. We learn how to say "yes" when we want to say "yes", "no" when we want to say "no". We learn how to express our feelings using words and actions instead of using eating disorder behaviors. We learn to become assertive instead of passive and or aggressive.

Are you practicing using your words/your voice to express yourself today?

Here is Jonah practicing.....

peace, hope and love,

Lily

Making Promises and Setting Goals

2009-03-06T19:03:00.005-05:00

"Here are two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise - and keep it. Or we can set a goal - and work to achieve it.

As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives.

By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods."

~ The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, page 92

One Day at a Time

Happy New Year

Today

Let's Make Peace With Beauty

on being human

"I used to be very upset with myself for being human, and having limitations. Now, I am so glad to recognize those limitations, because it means I can catch myself from flying off the edge. " ~ Jennie Ketcham

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more beautiful...

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful." ~ Barbara Bloom

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Getting Back Up

"If I look down and see scars on my knees, they are only reminders that I got up again! We get knocked down, but we don't have to stay there."~ Heather Palacios

on the road...

life begins again

If by Rudyard Kipling

In the end...

On When to Hold & When to Fold...

We all need courage and strength

strong at the broken places

"Life breaks us all and afterward, many are strong at the broken places" - Ernest Hemingway

changed for the better

Intention

"Exercise for the joy of feeling good and getting better. Eat right with the intention of fueling your body with the things it needs to perform." - Tony Horton

Loser Like Me

Change

"You change for two reasons: Either you learn enough that you want to, or you've been hurt enough that you have to." ~ Unknown

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How Do You Define Perfection?

"Perfection to me is peace and joy; it's connection and understanding." ~ Cesar Millan

###########

Pretty, Pretty Please...

NO

"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble." ~ Gandhi

Shaken

You're a Firework

Wisdom

Believe

Workaholics: Chained to the Desk

Be Yourself

We All Have Problems

choose to be kind

Shadows

Empty Spaces...

Just as I am

Every Minute

Just when...

Song Quote for Today

Do You See What I See?

I've been resisting wearing my glasses for the longest time even though I know I am continuing to hurt my vision.

This is what the world looks like to me through my right eye.

With both eyes open, I can still compensate and see more or less ok but with A LOT of straining.

This past week I had to renew my drivers license. It's been years since I had to do a vision test at the DMV. This is how my vision test went down:

DMV Employee: read the letters in line five please.

Me: A C D X Y (looking through the test thingie)

DMV Employee: read the letters on the right as well

Me: What do you mean there's letters on the right ?

***after putting on my glasses*** -

Me: Oh, there they are! D G T U C

DMV Employee: You are getting a restricted license today (for corrective lenses)

Me: :-(

-------

I still have a choice whether or not to wear my glasses while I am NOT driving. That choice is still up to me. I am going to make the right choice. I am wearing my glasses from now own.

Are there any healthy choices you can make for yourself before it is too late...while they are still up to you?

Day by Day

Reason to Celebrate

Change...

Reminders for the Week

Walk on the Water by Britt Nicole

Dwell on it a little

Quote for Today

It's Not Easy Being Green

United Breaks Guitars

Just heard this song, saw this video and read the story that inspired it all. Aside from a good laugh, it is a great reminder to make the best of the tough times we go through...

Quote for Today

Question for Today

Help for Haiti

Friday Night Reflections

Being Honest with Ourselves

Quote for Today

New Year ANTI-Resolutions

after putting on my glasses -